Hometown

My hometown is sort of boring. At times, there can be nothing interesting to do. For example, the burrito store was open while the liquor store was closed. Who does that? I was lulled into a false sense of boredom, so Monday night I decided to go to the (only) local bar. Huge mistake since I had no desire to run into acquaintances from high school. I went with Ron and eventually met up with Ryan and Morgan. But in the process, I made awkward eye contact with a few people who had been happily forgotten since high school. Like Becca with the trashy clothes. And what's-her-name with the name that escapes memory. Luckily no conversation was initiated, but it was awkward enough.
It got me prepared a bit for my 10 year high school reunion. (I skipped the 5 year and apparently missed a girl fight.) I think I'll be "successful" at my 10 year reunion. If all goes according to plan and I don't fail out this semester, I'll be a lawyer. And I will have moved out of my hometown. That makes me successful. What else can you hope for at a high school reunion? It seems like the point is to show off how awesome you are now so everyone who didn't like you can reflect on how wrong they were and how much of a jerk that makes them. High school reunions are a big F-U opportunity, or am I missing something? I guess there is the possibility of reigniting long-lost friendship. But given my high school, that seems unlikely.

Speaking of high school people - last night was the traditional elementary school reunion that occurs each year for Rebecca's birthday. Every year Rebecca, Vanessa, Jessica, and I go out to dinner and drinks in Boston to celebrate Rebecca's birthday. We have known each other since kindergarten - except Vanessa who arrived in 2nd grade. Rebecca was one of two people in my elementary school class who was younger than me. Sucka.
We went to a Chinese hot pot restaurant in (shockingly) Chinatown and for drinks at a bar called Scholars. It was all well and good. Two med students, a law student, and a soon to be business student. Pushed to succeed much?

I just heard a commercial that began "Attention women with a muffin top." It was about weight loss - but I don't think it's the most delicate method of reaching the target audience.
"Attention people who love muffin tops. Come to Will's Bakery." Much better.

I just found some of my old Star Wars action figures in my closet. I seriously considered bringing them back down to DC. Maybe just Han Solo and Darth Vader...and the X-Wing? That would look cool in my apartment...no?

Frack

Alright blog, here we go.

Finals being over was clutch. I spent a few days in DC without any real responsibility. Lots of laundry, groceries, and general responsibilities aside, I did little. I have to say, the best night was that Wednesday. I went with my roommate to pub trivia and a whiskey bar, and then we watched "A New Hope." It's really all I've ever wanted in an evening. The only other evening of note was Damien's Christmas Party. Thanks to Dan and Rachel, that night turned into a haze. Dan instigated many many shots of Scandinavian schnapps, one of the few liquors that gets worse with each shot. I just got annoyingly drunk (sorry everyone I was around!). The next morning there was a lovely group text:
Dan: Sorry about that everyone. Thanks for drinking with me
Me: My head...
Rachel: I'm still drunk
Dan: I ended my streak of not puking in DC
Rachel: I ended my streak of not blacking out at dinner parties.
For the record, Rachel's streak only dates back to Damien's Passover dinner party by my count. Whelp, that was DC Christmas.

DC Hanukkah was more of a sober event. It consisted of Ed and me cooking for Alena and Kerry while watching Tim Tebow lose to the Patriots. What up.

Then it was back to Boston, where I currently am. Boston has been, well, rather dull. I've seen some people and that has been nice. Christmas was very traditional: BDP's for Christmas Eve, family friend's for dinner, and Emma's for evening activities. It's as regular as Santa's mad dash around the world. Once again, Santa did not show up for me - even though I have a chimney. How does he know which children are Christian? Does he just go by last name and make all sorts of dangerous assumptions? I mean, Dave Goldberg we can probably cross off the list, but there are tons of ambiguities.
Does anyone actually get coal? That would be awesome. I'd be way more behind the idea of Santa if people actually got coal when they were naughty that year. What a superior system of child discipline. Do rich kids who have been naughty get coal derivatives from a futures market? Was any fracking involved in that coal extraction?

Fracking as a great word. It sounds way better than what it is: a method of extracting coal and natural gas from rock.

For my birthday, Shaked got my How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) Seasons 4 and 5, but I promised not to watch them until the end of finals. That was a good choice since I would have spent lots more time watching HIMYM than studying. But since finals ended, I have been in a HIMYM marathon. I'm just about at the end of season 5. It's like crack! Even though it's going steadily downhill and slowly consuming my life. Hey, it really is like crack.

So Happy Holidays everyone.

Final Final

Tomorrow is my last final. In 15 hours, I will be done with my penultimate semester of law school. All that stands in my way is Professional Responsibility. (I hope someone ironically gets thrown out of the exam for cheating.) I cannot wait to be done with over two weeks of constant studying or feeling like I should be studying. Not to mention being done with this crappy semester. Next semester I get to take classes I am interested in with good professors. This semester not so much.
Tomorrow afternoon there is a planned brunch at the bar closest to school. Then a much-deserved nap. The nap isn't group planned.

The Model Rules of Professional Responsibility can be summed up in one sentence: don't be a douchebag. Then it's just variations - don't be a d-bag to your client, don't be a d-bag to former clients, don't be a d-bag to opposing counsel, and so on. But I have a feeling that writing all that on the test will not earn me high marks.

Holy smokes, it's almost the holidays and I haven't done really any holiday shopping! I should probably just give everyone a Santa hat and act really offended if they don't like it or act confused. Rejecting a Santa hat in late December is like hating America. Right Rick Perry?

I have plans to have the nerdiest law school party ever. It will be called the "Ex Parte" (that's a law joke...yeah). And it will only go downhill from there. We can serve an apple tort(e). There will be Federal Rules of Party Procedure. And so on. I'll think of more awful law jokes later.
FYI: this is why law school's law revue shows are not funny. Law jokes are uniformly terribly.

My annual birthday gathering at the Big Hunt was this Saturday. A decent amount of people came out given that it was mid-finals. Despite having a server who hated me for ordering a drink from the bar (when she took ten minutes to come by the table), it went pretty well. I saw some peeps I have not seen in a while, and there was general merriment. And Sunday I was able to combat the hangover enough to get some actual work done. For the win!

Of Birthdays and Finals, Hopefully Not Final Birthday

Let's recap. My birthday and finals have both happened, generally in an intertwining narrative.
Friday night was probably the highlight of the weekend. Kerry took me to a cocktail bar called the Columbia Room. It is a ten seat bar, framed as a speakeasy - unmarked in the back of another bar. They have real bartenders. Not "I can make a rum and coke" bar tenders. They use high quality ingredients and top notch techniques. Usually they do a flight of three cocktails. Two are chosen by the house, the third is based on your preferences. The house choices were Prohibition-era style cocktails. We got the history of them and everything. It was interesting and the drinks were good. For my third cocktail I asked for "something with whiskey...or gin." and the bartender made me her favorite martini. It's was a dry martini with Plymouth Gin and a fancy dry vermouth in equal parts, with a twist of lemon. It was good - though not my favorite thing ever. Kerry had a neat ginger cocktail. And someone else at the bar got a vesper martini - the original James Bond drink. Pretty cool. We also got an extra drink (cause how often do you get the opportunity to sit at that type of bar). For that I asked for something spicy. I got a drink called a Sun Burn. It involved whiskey, bitters, ginger liqueur, tobasco, and an egg white. It was pretty incredible.
Apparently this bar is on GQ's list of top 25 cocktail bars. Well it's right up my alley. Huge fan.

Sunday was my actual birthday. As is tradition, I listened to "December 4th" by Jay-Z. We have the same birthday. No big deal. I'm practically him, right? I got the nice deluge of facebook posts, which was an appreciated distraction. But I spent most of the day studying Evidence. 'Tis the life of a December-born student. But this is the last time my birthday will ever interfere with finals! Alena and Kerry made dinner and baked a cake, respectively. It was delicious, and clearly the highlight of a study day. And I still lost at Settler of Catan. Great.

After another full study day yesterday, my first final came today. Evidence. It began in curious manner. I got to the exam room an hour in advance. Jon and I plugged in our computers and after a couple of minutes a socket down the row began smoking and making popping sounds. Umm that's cool. Someone called facilities about that, and it turns out that the school flooded last night (it's basically built on a swamp...like this city). So our basement classroom had been flooded, causing electrical problems. And making the carpet throughout the lecture hall damp and mildew scented. The first two rows of seats were roped off, and despite the smell and general sense of dampness that hung over the room, we all took the exam. Not what you'd call optimal test conditions.
I hope it went well. I'm nervous. I left the exam 20 minutes early. I had already read over my answers twice. Now that I am out of the test, I know that I got one answer wrong. But I just didn't know it, so those 20 minutes wouldn't have helped. Some crap about the Confrontation Clause changing in 2003. But aside from that question I feel pretty good about it. I think? I hope! At least it's over. Face towards the future. Towards tomorrow. Towards an Antitrust exam at 9:30 in the morning.

I'm not sure how this is going to go over with the professor but I made a little joke on the exam. The problem had to do with a prosecution for possession of marijuana with intent to distribute. I wrote: "The potential for prejudice is high (no pun intended)." I hope my professor likes puns. Specifically bad ones!

Oh, I passed the MPRE. I am more than minimally ethical in all U.S. jurisdictions. I should hope so from a philosophy major!
I wonder if like...Jack Abramoff took that test? It's clearly a really good screening tool. Better we should have ethics shock treatment.

I remember that two years ago during finals it was freezing. It was so cold I was wearing two pairs of socks to school. Today it was mid-60s and raining. What is going on here? Why is DC now a tropical rainforest? It's December! Get with it. I want some snow. I want another snowpocalypse. I want classes cancelled, snowball fights, and hot toddies.

Shaked got me the next two seasons of How I Met Your Mother. All I want to do is watch them! But I promised I won't until the end of finals. An exercise in self-control.

Tupac says "It's hard to be legit and still pay the rent." That depends in large part on what your rent is. If you live in a mansion, yeah. If you live at your momma's house, like Snoop Dogg (Gin and Juice), it's not hard at all. If you "raise the roof" of your house, that would cost a lot. And there's always the threat of that roof being on fire and someone "let[ting] the motherf***** burn."

Actual Last Day Of Classes/Time Warp

Today was the "official" last day of classes. Goodbye and good riddance this semester. Can we get Green Day in here to play a song? No? Alright.
Well it is officially finals period. I felt like a huge waste of time today although I did lots of studying. The problem is that I could take Evidence or Antitrust tomorrow and feel adequately prepared. I can definitely get better with the material, but it's a much slower learning curve now and as such it is more frustrating to continue slogging through the material. I'm basically fighting for every inch of ground in terms of preparation. It's World War I up in here.

It's getting to be that time of year where I grow a year older one day. Yeah, my birthday. Eh, I'm not thrilled about it. I've never been a huge fan. My mom already got me my birthday present. It was a Mark Bittman cookbook. Thanks mom, that will be helpful for recipes since cooking is a pursuit that I enjoy! But at the same time I'm not thrilled about it. You see, I mentioned at least two times that I don't like Mark Bittman very much. I think he's a food nazi. And this is sort of what I hate about my birthday. I got a "thanks, but" present. I feel like that happens a lot. And it sounds crappy of me to say, but I hate it. I hate the disingenuous gratitude. I hate feeling like someone close to me basically ignored my express preferences. There is nothing (or very few things, at least) that I really want. As cliche as it may be to say it, I don't care that much about what material possession I have. But I appreciate the thought. I do not appreciate the thought behind giving me a book that I said I don't want.
But, all in all, I like having the book. So after thinking/typing it out, I am in the odd position of more or less liking the gift, but disliking its thoughtfulness. Now I sound like a jerk. Nothing too new.

Today I was studying at the tables outside the library. Talking is permitted at the tables. But there are two dozen people studying around you, so the proper social etiquette is to keep conversations short and quiet. It definitely violates the social rules to have a twenty minute conversation (right next to me) about why you chose to be a chemistry major and professional hockey. Guess what? No one cares! I care more about improper propensity inferences in Evidence law than I do about you. And I don't care about propensity inferences basically at all. So stop talking about the Pittsburgh Penguins or I'm going to poison your Diet Coke.
Can there be some sort of social etiquette where it's totally alright to scream at people who are blatantly violating other social norms?

When the going gets tough, the tough are happy they aren't 1Ls about to take their first finals ever.

Second to Last Second to Last Day of Classes

I'd like to call it the last day of classes, but I guess I do have Public Interest Lawyering tomorrow night. That's barely a class. So today was the last day of "real" classes. And we just give applause to any professor on the last day of class these days. Even my Evidence professor, who was useless all semester. Today's class period was dominated by reviewing a practice test, only we didn't get through the test because my classmates were busy asking redundant questions or coming up with crazy hypothetical facts that were never implicated in the question. I thought the practice test was fairly straightforward. I'm not saying I would have aced it, but I would have done pretty well for the minimal amount of studying I have put in to date. Don't worry, I'll study more before the actual test. But I am relieved to see my classmates blundering so badly. Remember, grades are on a curve. Oh the joys of pointless law school competition.

This evening my Evidence professor emailed the class saying that he would be out of the country for the next two weeks and good luck on the test. The "suckers" was implied.

I had the pleasure of finishing my second Antitrust outline today. One is historical, one is by issue. I think I'll need both. And I have about 75 cases to remember. No big deal. This is what I get from the one class I liked this semester. It's a busy study period.

I don't really get what was going on with Crosby, Stills and Nash. And Young? What's the deal?

I went with Giri and Dan to get lunch at a group of food trucks today. The first one we approached had a lot of options - like ten different things. I was about to order some sort of chicken wrap when the guy in the truck informed me that all they had left was Chicken Bahn Mi and Lamb on Rice. Giri ordered the lamb, and that was the last lamb on rice they had. Dude, why is your truck still here? Go home and restock. You can't give me ten options to ogle and then only have one. Especially while there are at least two other trucks right there. Competition fail. I clearly went to another truck. Even if I wanted chicken bahn mi, my sense of propriety was so offended. You should have at least a third of your menu.

Welcome To Finals

Thanksgiving came and went. It was nice to get away from school and DC for a bit, but the brief vacation left me wanting more. For the third straight year, my mom and I went to a weird family thing in upstate New York. It's at a "mountain house," which is fun if you like group hiking trips and fresh mountain air. But I don't. I mean, the air is fine. But I'd prefer other activities. Like sleeping and shooting apples off of people's heads. Someone did that once to his son. Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.
My room was on the hallway outside the dining room, so every morning I got to hear stupid little kids screaming before and after breakfast. And their parents: "Billy knows all of the presidents. Billy, whose picture is that? No, that's Herbert Hoover. He was president." Apparently Billy does not know all the presidents. Now get to breakfast and stop hanging out in the hall outside my room. It's before 9 AM, have some respect.
Actual Thanksgiving was served at noon. A tradition I am not the biggest fan of. But the food was good. And Alan Alda was there. Not a joke. He actually goes there for Thanksgiving each year (and I bet he loves it when people yell "Hey Hawkeye!!!"). I also got to play Settlers of Catan with some cousins, so that was good.

Then I got about a day and a half at home. Not enough time. I didn't get to see nearly enough people. I was split between working and relaxing and got to do neither properly. So here I am back in DC. And now it's time to suit up. Or...outline up. Due to a lapse of judgment, or an attitude of ambivalence, I didn't realize when my finals were. Turns out they are scheduled for next Tuesday and Wednesday. That's pretty close, so it's business time.

The bad news is: I don't know Evidence and I have a long way to go in Antitrust. The good news is: most 3Ls are even lazier than me and even more behind in finals preparations. The best news is: these are my last fall semester finals and the last time that finals will interfere with my birthday. In a theme that will probably be repeated on this blog: I cannot wait to be done with law school.

The drive down to DC from Boston took a good long time. Thanks for driving, Nakul! Aside from spending half the drive in Jersey, the most exciting thing that happened was being right behind a police bust. As we were driving through Connecticut, four police cars stopped traffic, pulled over a truck, and approached it with weapons drawn. Hey now, that's something you don't see every day. We were front row for a potential firefight. Think I'm exaggerating? Check out this huge gun one dude had.



Yeah, that's what I thought. What was going on?? My guess was a drug bust, but you really never know. Luckily, the men in the truck went peacefully. Front row is good for cirque du soleil, but not a gun battle.
Photo courtesy of my iPhone. Yeah, it's nice to have a phone that takes pictures, not to mention one that I can actually hear.

Russia House

Last night I got accidental drunk. I blame lack of lunch and full dinner. Plus strong ginger cocktails made it a potent mix. Alena, Kerry, and I met up with people at a bar called Russia House. It was...very Russian. When we got there we were looking for our friends. They weren't on the first floor. On the second floor, we were stopped by a big Russian man who asked us in a thick Russian accent what we were doing there. Oh hey, KGB, we're just looking for our friends. (In a thick accent:) "Not this level. This is private party." He was scary, but correct - the people we were looking for were upstairs. Russian beer really wasn't bad at all. And I may or may not have had a martini that was just sitting on a table for like fifteen minutes with no owner. Whatever, I wasn't roofied. Just drunk enough to get jumbo slice pizza. Best choice. It almost made up for my lack of dinner. But then today I was the type of hung-over where you just want to eat all day. There is a hole in my stomach.

Ugh, I need sleep. One day of class to get through before vacation. Only two more classes. Just gotta keep thinking that.
At least I got my Evidence outline pretty much finished today. It shows me how little I learned in Evidence. Great choices.

Why is hummus so good? It's just fantastic.

Viking Funerals

So work today was actually really cool. I randomly tagged along to a meeting which was two hours long, but fascinating. A couple of companies came in to complain about another company whose entire business model (if they are telling the truth) was basically quasi-legal extortion. It was like listening to them tell a cowboy story of antitrust law. Or a mobster antitrust firm. Pretty cool stuff. Unfortunately there did not seem to be a cognizable antitrust claim, although the SEC, the IRS, and the US Attorney's Office all probably have some things to say.
I'm going to write the next Sin City, antitrust law style. Sounds thrilling, right?

My handle of whiskey is dead. Viking funeral. Were I still in college, the funeral would be in Masel. And would look a lot like littering.

Can't it just be Thanksgiving???

Yesterday, I let Kerry talk me into frozen yogurt for dinner. It was like the childhood dream. Only I realized how bad of an idea that was. Then I got mad at myself for ruining my own childhood dream. Plus, I'm sure Michelle Obama is not happy about my choice. Sasha and Malia are never allowed to have froyo dinner.
What if it was spinach flavored froyo?
Then it would be gross. Oh, right.

On the topic of food, today's lunch was at a place that just opened in Chinatown called Meatballs. It's big attraction is that it talks about balls a lot. I'm serious, I'm not being immature. On the wall is a sign that says Meatballs, only meat is in tiny font and the letters in balls are about a foot tall. That sign was probably the best part about the place too. I tried their chicken balls (aka meatballs made from ground chicken), and thought I was going to get sick they were so undercooked.

Color me surprised.

The Part

Sugary cereal is the best! Especially as dessert. I'm doing the Trader Joe's equivalent of Frosted Flakes. Mmmm poverty cereal (as my roommate calls it).

I started outlining for my Evidence final. I'm using a hornbook. It is approximately 7.5 times as good as my professor at explaining the material. So teaching evidence to myself is working out well so far, but it makes me wonder why I spend money on tuition when I could use a $30 book just as well for this class. The sole relevant thing my professor said during our 55 minute class today was "Physical objects are not protected by attorney client privilege." The other 54 minutes were taken up by him tangentially discussing ways that lawyers can become an accessory after the fact to a crime and end up spending some quality time in prison with their client.

Basically, I really want Thanksgiving break to come. Motivation is slipping away.
Though I am realizing that this is my last year of school. Ever. 19th grade is coming to an end, and there is no 20th. (Thank goodness!) So next semester I plan on enjoying myself. Easy schedule, time to hang out and to travel a bit. I'll probably pass/fail a class and not care very much about any of the others either. What's the name for this? Senioritis? 3L-itis just isn't as catchy.

iPhone! The future is now!
Except it took me almost a week to learn how to set up my voicemail. Would it absolutely kill Apple to send me a user manual? It's hard enough for me, I can only imagine how much less intuitive it is for someone of an older generation! I have sympathy! Or maybe I just feel old. Not "hip" and "with it." I don't know what the kids are listening to these days or how to use their new fancy phones.

I got a hair cut today and the lady cutting my hair just gave me a part without my asking. Bam, there it was. She said it looked nice - but I'm not sure how keen I am on it. But I didn't want to offend her, so I kept the part. Until I went to the gym and showered. But now my hair seems to want to part itself. It was easily suggestible, apparently. On one hand my hair does not cooperate. On the other hand, at least I'm not Medusa. Her hair would have been a real pain. And I bet she had to go to Animal Control to even get a trim.

J. Edgar Hoover was a real bastard. The movie was a'ight. Not my favorite, but not bad. I'm not sure it showed just how much of a bad guy he was. Though it was certainly not a positive portrayal.

How do I get better at Settlers of Catan? Suggestions?

Non-Phone Things

Yesterday in Evidence a student fainted. He regained consciousness and was alright, don't worry. But it was...jarring. I felt so bad for him. Someone called 911 and an ambulance came. The paramedic had him step outside (he came back in). It must have been super embarrassing. (Also embarrassing - I can't spell embarrassing without a spellchecker.) It was one of the worst ways to lose 10 minutes of class I have ever experienced. I would have far preferred to listen to my professor.

Today I also came across a 2-minute old car accident. I jogged to Safeway to get cranberry sauce and when I came back there was a car in the middle of the road that had just been hit. I missed the exciting part. But what is going on around me this week? The cranberry sauce was used to make a delicious sauce to go with pork tenderloin and mashed potatoes. Delicious. The taste was clearly not marred by the perilous circumstances of the cranberry sauce's acquisition.

Somehow this week I am actually paying attention in classes. Even in Professional Responsibility, which is silly because the MPRE is over. By the way, the MPRE went "meh who knows." As Ron put it, it's the kind of test where you walk out feeling like you failed, but then you pass. I did the first part, I haven't learned about the second part. The first question (of 60) was the juiciest (it wasn't very juicy), about sexual relations with a client. And there was no "good answer," only a "best answer." It isn't good to have an "Oh crap, I don't know" question as your first one. Not a good tone for the rest of the exam. I took the MPRE at American's law school. Across the street they have a Crate & Barrel with a Starbucks inside. I could wait for my latte while shopping for plates. It was the most bourgeois thing ever. It could also be right out of a "Stuff White People Like" post. Hilarious.

After the MPRE, I started reading Game of Thrones again. It is getting crazy. And hard to put down. It was a good call to stop reading when I did.

If you are wondering, the Jay-Z/Kanye West concert was awesome. Jay-Z was better live. He sounds as good, if not better than he does on album. Kanye sounds fine, but his songs have a tendency to be so produced that it just isn't the same live. And he isn't as fast (maybe because he isn't a "real" rapper). They played a lot of stuff from Watch the Throne, and most of their individual hits. I can only think of two Kanye hits they didn't play - Love Lockdown and Through the Wire. But Jesus Walks and Good Life were fantastic live. As were Hard Knock Life, 99 Problems, and Dirt Off Your Should from Jay-Z. It's alright to be jealous in this case. I owe Damien for getting the tickets.

It's time to face the reality that I don't know how iPhones work. Oh, but I said non-phone stuff.

You know whose music is totally unappreciated by my generation? Arlo Guthrie. But he's the man. Huge Alice's Restaurant fan (Thanksgiving tradition to listen to it).

Damn it. I just missed Top Chef.

Does anyone know how to use this damn thing? I feel old - technology is now beyond me. Oh, but not talking about it.

Instead we'll talk about...brunch. The best meal of it week. Really! It's a once-a-week kind of meal. Especially with bottomless mimosas. But it's the best meal. I pretty much discovered that upon moving to DC. They just don't do it the same way in Boston. Stupid Puritan laws. In my youth they still had Sunday Blue Laws! What is that??!! Let the people shop on Sundays. Let them have drink specials! If you were real puritans, you would just insist they run around in those silly buckle hats. I'd be down.

Goodbye Old Phone

Goodbye Old Phone, you served me well. Better than I could have asked for from any phone. I got you in March of 2007. You held up great. You still work...sort of. But it is quite hard to hear on your handset. And your camera does not work. And I have to rubber band your charger in. And your battery life is rapidly diminishing. But enough of the flaws. I'm getting emotional. Let us celebrate the time we had together. You were fantastic. However, it is time that I join the modern age of cell phones. Welcome to my life, iPhone. Please do not consume my too much of my time. Let me remember what it is like to be a person outside of technology as well. Let me people watch on the metro rather than just sit and play Angry Birds.
Goodbye, Old Phone. You will be severely missed.

Onto my fourth phone ever. Numbers one and two were Nokia bricks. Number three was my trusty Sony Ericsson. May number four, the iPhone 4S serve me well. And may Siri not give me too much attitude.

New Phone - iPhone...soon

In a shocking development, I am getting the new iPhone. Mostly so I can harass Siri, the computer-programmed personal assistant. I have so many questions to ask her. The phone will get here in 3-4 weeks. That's nothing; I've had my current phone for about five years. What's another few weeks? While the iPhone isn't "necessary," they don't make good non-smart phones anymore. And I really need a phone where I can 1) hear, and 2) charge it without having to rubber band the charger into place. Oh I'll miss my ghetto phone so. But change is inevitable. I hope this time it really is change we can believe in.

This weekend, everyone was equivocating about Halloween plans, so I decided to make some of my own. I hosted a get together that was organized at least 8 hours in advance. A small Indian man delivered beer for me with a hand truck, and the fixin's for apple pie shots were arranged (rum, apple cider, and cinnamon). Between those two things, you know it was a good time. Plus Kerry baked destructively delicious peanut butter, chocolate rice crispies treats and pumpkin blondies.
Perhaps the most impressive was that my roommate and I actually decorated. And by decorated, I mean bought Halloween-themed Christmas lights (confusing holiday mash up) and then waited for people with better sense to tell us where to hang them.

The MPRE is Saturday. It's an exam on lawyer ethics, which is hilarious in itself. For many states, you need to get an 85 or higher to pass. So when I took my first practice test today and got a decent amount of questions wrong, I was worried. There are only 50 questions, so I didn't feel like I had a lot of room for error. Then I learned that 85 is not a percentage correct. It's just a number somewhere on the curve that the test is graded on. Rather than requiring like 42/50 correct, I only need around 35. See how ethical lawyers have to be? Ethical enough to misrepresent how ethical we have to be.

I see too many wet paint signs, and I feel like dry paint is underrepresented and under appreciated. I am going to start hanging up dry paint signs. Just to let people know it's there.

PRE-ER

Currently, I am reading for PRE. That's Professional Responsibility and Ethics for people who aren't up on the law school awful yet required course lingo. This reading is only slightly better than what I ended up doing last night - going to the emergency room. Yup. Preface: I'm fine, don't worry. But I woke up around midnight with sharp chest pains that got worse when I took a breath. Let's talk about not fun - it's that. It made me really not want to have a heart attack. I did what any intelligent person of my generation does: WebMD. And boy, that website had a uniform answer for me. Every symptom I clicked on. Chest pain - go to the emergency room. Left side - go to the emergency room. Sharp pain - go to the emergency room. Worse when you breath - go to the emergency room. Alright, alright, I get it. So I spent 1 to 5 am at the emergency room. They ran some tests, determined it was nothing serious, and sent me home with a prescription for some serious ibuprofen. It's just a viral thing, it'll get better. I couldn't help but think "I'm young and I've never smoked...this just cannot be a heart attack."

Was that too personal? I mean...I'm fine! It was just an interesting experience. That needs to be documented for posterity, clearly. Still it's better than half the crap on the internet.

I signed on with the firm. It's go time. And I feel good about it.

Wham bam.

Pumpkin flavored things are fantastic. Which made it even more disappointing when the burger restaurant I went to on Saturday was out of all but one of their pumpkin beers (and octoberfests). They had an extensive beer menu and did flights of three beer samples. But I went through half the damn menu trying to find a beer that the waiter didn't immediately respond "We're out of that." Killing me. But the burger, topped with pulled pork and bbq sauce, was absolutely delicious. It made up for the pissy host who dragged our table closer to the busboy station, the waiter who flat out told our table he didn't want to be there anymore, and for the busboy who almost took out Ryan while trying to handle a tray of dishes.
And they serve a beer float! But of course they were out of the beer that goes into it. Darn it. Gotta remember how good that burger was.

Now I gotta go to sleep. Being awake from 12-6 am really takes it out of you.

Seasonal Decor

I thought it would be an 'adult' thing to do to purchase seasonal candy and put it in a bowl in my living room. House guests and residents alike can thereby enjoy a small amount of candy, thoughtfully placed near them. But here's the problem: I bought candy corn. A lot of candy corn. And candy corn is strangely addictive. Something about that sugary chemical taste you just can't get enough of. As a result, I keep snacking on candy corn like it's my job. Yesterday I had a self-proclaimed "Day without Candy Corn." And it was difficult! Tonight I've only been home for about two hours, and I've already had...half a bag? Maybe more, but who can say. Let's round down. And it's making my stomach hurt. Every time! My thoughtful, seasonal, adult gesture turned into a monster.

I blame CVS for making bags of candy corn 99 cents.

Today at work I was invited to a meeting. But I was never told the time or location of the meeting, so I went to lunch. When I returned, I found a note on my chair telling me the room number the meeting was in. So I went downstairs and looked around, but none of the rooms had that number on it. A lot of rooms, however, were not numbered at all it seemed. I found a room with a meeting, but I wasn't sure if it was my meeting so I skipped it.
Benefits: attending an informative meeting; making attorneys happy
Detriments: vast potential for embarrassment if that was the wrong meeting.
Choose your own adventure. If you walk in, with confidence go to page 19. If touch the door knob and the slink away silently, go to page 32. I went back upstairs and skipped the meeting. I did not slink!

Hell's Kitchen: a healthy addiction. Much healthier than heroin.

At lunch with about 8 paralegals, there was an argument about the best fast food burritos. It was mostly Chipotle vs. California Tortilla vs. Qdoba. I think Qdoba is disqualified automatically for having a stupid name. But the argument is ultimately futile. All bow down before Anna's Taqueria. It is known.

Occupy Shawlstreet.

Where does time go? I feel like there is never time to do anything. And I also feel like I never get anything done. Conundrum. Oh, I know. No time!

I want to open an investment bank called "Our Children's Future." The advertising writes itself. And it's so inspiring.

At least I'm not sick anymore. I can do fun things like mimosa brunch (last Sunday with Ryan, Jess, and Kait). Mimosa brunch really messes up the rest of the day. You have only two choices. Take a nap or keep drinking. I had to work on my moot court brief, so napping wasn't an option. I just had to keep drinking beer, watching football, and writing a section of my brief. Of course, the next morning I had to rewrite most of that section. But I got one really good paragraph that I didn't have to change. I must have been really focusing for that one. But the brief is done and turned in. Huge relief.
What will you do now that the brief is done, I was asked. That's a good question. Probably do my regular homework. I'll actually do my reading, rather than simply just looking at the pages. I'll try to teach myself Evidence, since my professor doesn't seem up to the task. And I'll do practical things like laundry and cleaning. I need time for that stuff. It took me a week to replace my toothpaste! I kept doing that thing where you squeeze the heck out of the entire tube just to get enough to brush your teeth. Oral hygiene shouldn't require that much of a struggle.

With Yom Kippur last weekend, I have had four or five days where I was unable to eat solid food in the past three months. That's a lot. I still really appreciate solid food. I take that as an excuse to eat lots of Pop Tarts.

Sorry, sorry, I've been sick. More posts to follow.

When you receive $8 in "CVS Extrabucks" you have shopped at CVS too much. I have to go back to buying Trader Joe's brand Rice Krispies, or as my roommate calls it, "poverty cereal." It's so cheap!

As the title indicates, I have basically just been sick this past week. It really sucks. Some day I will return to being a normal person with a normal immune system. But it isn't going to be this week. Today I am feeling a lot better, but that's little reassurance after feeling like crap for six days. I had to call in sick to my internship on Thursday and Friday. That looks really good in the second week.

Last week (the first week) at my internship was pretty good. With one notable exception. So things were going well Thursday and Friday morning. I had research to do, I started writing a memo, and I was generally diving into things. Then on Friday, at 10:30, an attorney from the office stopped by my office to chat. I know the time exactly because there was a time stamp on a message I was waiting to read. I thought it would be a getting to know you chat. Establishing a relationship, ya know, the good kind of chat. And it started out at way. Sort of. The attorney started out by complaining a little bit how some people are a little lazy and lax with their time. They put in the necessary hours and go home, but they don't have a fire to get their work done. Alright, I agree. The conversation moved on. I learned about his life, his law school, his jobs, his problems with the D.C. DMV, his opinions on former co-workers, and so on. I just responded and every once in a while got to say something that wasn't about him. I don't mind that attorneys like to talk about themselves. I mind when they talk about themselves for three hours. That's right, three hours. Three. I was looking at the clock. Around noon (one and a half hours into our "chat") I started getting hungry for lunch. My stomach started rumbling. It's my first week, so I can't exactly excuse myself for lunch. But I started sending him brain waves saying "Leave my office please." That didn't work. I must have sparked his interest with one of my witty, incisive comments (most of what I said was "Oh really?" "Uh huh" and "I see") because he talked for another hour and a half. Three hours of listening to him talk. Remember how the conversation began with him complaining about how some people aren't diligent about doing their work. Ironic, isn't it. Dude, you are an attorney. How do you have THREE HOURS to talk to me? I have work to do; I have a memo to write, and I don't have three hours to listen to your memoirs. What is going on here??? (<-- Three question marks. One for each hour I listened to him.) I was worried that my supervisor would think I was slacking off because every time he walked by my office all he saw was me talking to this guy! Go do some work! Finally, at 1:30 the attorney realized he had detained me for long enough and moved on. I scrambled to the kitchen to heat up my lunch. The rest of the day I rushed to get my memo out. Because from 10:30 to 1:30, I was not allowed to do work.
Also, the attorney said a lot of things I did not agree with. I spoke up about a lot of them, but he never responded well to me and generally pivoted around to ignore what I was saying. So that he could talk about himself some more. For example, hearing I was from Massachusetts, he was incredulous as to how we could elect Ted Kennedy so many times and essentially called him a bad politician. I responded that he was always popular in Massachusetts - he brought home the bacon, he reflected many people's beliefs, he was an institution, and he had the money and connections to keep getting elected. So the attorney pivots to Chappaquiddick. Real original, and has nothing to do with being a good or bad politician. When I pointed out that tons of politicians get reelected after major scandals (not that I'm a Chappaquiddick apologist), he just changed the subject. So after bashing Ted Kennedy without good reason, he just moves on to monopolize my time. Not great.

While I didn't enjoy it, that was easily the most amusing three hour period of my life in the past couple of weeks. Aside from that, it has been sickness, writing my moot court brief, and more sickness. Up for the rest of the weekend: writing my moot court brief and fending off sickness.

I hope everyone is doing well. Doing better than my health. It's in the 50's finally. Fall is here!

I Love Solid Food

It's amazing how much you appreciate solid food once you can no longer have it. For medical purposes (don't worry, I'm fine) I just ate my first meal in two days. It was General Gao's chicken and it was delicious. But this Thanksgiving, one of the things I am thankful for really might be the ability to eat solid food every day.
And my goodness, I drank literally two gallons of Gatorade yesterday to keep something in me. I am keeping that company in business. I'll throw it out there - blue is the best Gatorade. And orange is clearly the worst.

The Red Sox really need to pick it up. My advice is to stop sucking. Especially the starting pitching. John Lackey, I am looking at you, don't even try to hide in the corner.

My Professional Responsibility professor could make that class a lot more tolerable by speaking in clear, concise sentences. It would translate into notes much better. And it would clarify the rules. Instead, this is the kind of thing we listen to for two hours: "The test is two parts, with the first part being whether the lawyer has moved from one firm and is currently working at another firm, and this does not apply to secretaries, paralegals, or any other non-lawyers because they are regulated differently under the comments to Rule 1.10 which makes a difference between lawyers and non-lawyers because..." Now at this point, I have stopped paying attention and taking notes. But the problem is that it's a two part test. Remember he said that an hour ago? So if I tune out, I don't get the second part of the test. There is so much information in that sentence that it is impossible to write it all down. But its also redundant and/or useless information. Here is my proposal: "The test is two parts, with the first being whether the lawyer has moved firms and the second being whether the lawyer had a former client conflict. This test does not apply to non-lawyers..." and then he can go on and on with extraneous information. Complete sentences is what I'm asking for. End the run-ons. I don't need twelve clauses per sentence. Is that too much? Out of a lawyer? Probably.

Senioritis - 3L Style

At school, all of my friends - all of them - and even some people I'm not friends with have constantly been talking about how bored they are and how useless classes seem. We all seem to have hit the 3L slump. Hitting it hard. My friend Sarah, a goodie-two-shoes by any measure, has stopped doing reading. It is brutal. "The first year they scare you to death; the second year they work you to death; the third year they bore you to death," is the aphorism and it really is holding up. Luckily, I have an internship to distract me from the motivation black hole that is law school. And I will finally be starting this upcoming week. It only took the first three weeks of school to get all the necessary approvals. Thanks for holding up lots of my paperwork, school. I appreciate it. But I really am looking forward to beginning work.

It is alumni weekend at my law school. I scoff the very idea. I understand that I may eat my words later for whatever reason, but as things stand now I will never donate a dime to my law school. I'm all about undergraduate alma maters. Who roots for their grad school's sports team? Unless you are really in need of something to root for. In that case, I would recommend rooting for the Red Sox. Woo!

Also, I'm glad that NFL football is back. It gives purpose to Sunday afternoons and provides a respite from the homework that has been sitting around since Wednesday.

They say wine makes you sleepy, so I tried to take a nap today cuddling a bottle of chardonnay. It worked though, I got an hour of sleep in. Next time I'm going to spoon with a fifth of whiskey and see what happens.

Ruby Tuesday's Is Hereby Pronounced Awful

I am better than Ruby Tuesday's. That terrible suburban institution with an overpriced salad bar that masquerades as a restaurant. That Applebees-wannabe. Heck, Ruby Tuesday's would like to be Chili's. It does not deserve the Rolling Stones song I associate with it. Last night I ate at Ruby Tuesday's (it was at least my second mistake of the evening) and ordered some barbecue chicken with two sides. The sides were fine (broccoli and potatoes) but the chicken was atrocious. It was cooked into rubber. And my waitress...could not have cared less about my predicament. So I ate my sides and the garlic bread, while my main course just sat there and was eventually cleared away. It was like going to bed without dinner. I am underweight right now and need to protein up. Bring on the protein! But, alas, there was nothing edible about that rubbery barbecue concoction.
So this afternoon, I whipped up some random chicken concoction in my kitchen. Just to prove that I can cook better than Ruby Tuesday's, that heinous establishment. And you know what? My chicken was cooked well. You could taste the food. Ruby Tuesday's threw a 6-hour old hunk of overcooked meat on a plate and smothered it in sauce, hoping I would forget that I ordered chicken. Well I did not forget. Now, Ruby Tuesday's, you should come try my chicken. It's a new recipe. I call it, Better-Than-Ruby-Tuesday's chicken. No, I'm not spiteful at all.

In Public Interest Lawyering, The Incredible Hulk sat behind me this week. It was only a partial success. It was good, in that I could actually see what the hell was going on in the room. It was bad in that The Incredible Hulk seems incapable of sitting in a chair like a human being. So he kept stretching out his legs and kicking my chair, bag, and computer cord. Then he would retract his feet, cross them in the conference room chair (really, are you five??), then uncross, stretch, and repeat. And he doesn't respond to my pseudo-Pavlovian training! Every time he kicked my chair, I turned around and gave him an aggravated look. But he failed to get the message. Stop kicking my chair, The Incredible Hulk! Act more Bruce Banner.

The rest of the week was highlighted by a poorly timed fantasy football draft. The draft was at 7. I had a meeting at school at 8. So I had to draft the entire meeting and stay at school afterwards. And I couldn't pee, the entire time. Very frustrating. Big problems. Whatever, the meeting was useless anyways. Moot Court Board - what's that mean anyways?

Fill In The Blanks

Right so I felt the past few days not feeling great. But I'm better now. There wasn't a whole lot to report from the depths of my apartment. Aside from The Great Roommate Swap, which is now complete. Ryan, my new roommate, is safely entrenched in his new surroundings. One upside is that I get a new, flashy television for the living room. Another is a fun, new roommate. A third is kitchen items that were lacking like baking sheets and a toaster. I sound so domestic. Like a dog. I just read an article in the New Yorker about Rin Tin Tin (a dog-actor, if you didn't know). See, I have been spending too much time indoors. Rin Tin Tin almost won an Oscar. That would be embarrassing if he had beaten out humans. Come to think of it, that is embarrassing to all the actors who were not Oscar nominees that year.

So school. That's a thing again. My Public Interest Lawyering class was...painful, to put it kindly. It's a 'discussion-based' small class where we will write 'reflection papers.' In other words, let's all talk about our internships and our feelings. Maybe after a good cry together we can change the world for the better. Grow up. The first part of the (2 hour long) class was spent going around the room so people could talk about themselves. Where are they from? Where are they interning? What year are they? And, most annoyingly, why did they want to go to law school? Look, I admire and respect people who work for organizations like Alliance to Help Disabled People With Legal Problems and other such places, but do we really need to get all feelings-y? I also couldn't help but get a slightly anti-corporate vibe from the room. In fact, I'm pretty sure someone made a dig about corporate law firms. More on that in a minute.
I was stuck in a seat at a conference table behind The Incredible Hulk. This guy is maybe 6'3" and 200 pounds. Big guy. That's totally fine. What is not fine is that he spent the entire two hours leaning forward in various positions that blocked me from view entirely. Elbows on the table, head forward, bringing his knees up in his seat, the whole bag. Since he is The Incredible Hulk and not The Invisible Man, I struggled for two hours to catch a glimpse of my professors, seated twenty feet away at the head of the table. Then he got worse. The Incredible Hulk told his story about why he came to law school: He was a campaign manager going door to door and met some woman in a bad neighborhood who begged his help because her son was autistic and she couldn't get the help she needed and the system totally failed her and he felt so bad so he knew he wanted to come to law school to help people. Cry me a freaking river. Yes, it's an unfortunate story. But it's also your law school admissions personal statement. I am not an admissions officer, and I don't give a damn. The classroom is not the appropriate place for you to talk about revelations you had regarding human suffering and inequity. I'm not cold-hearted. I have sympathy for the subject of his story. But in this context, all I have is an eye roll for him. If I could I would have vomited all over the back of his head (which was all I could see at that point). For the cherry on top, when he was asked what he wanted to do as a lawyer, The Incredible Hulk responded that he wanted to be a prosecutor. That...is not a way to this poor lady who apparently made you dedicate your life to helping people. That is a way to put people in jail. You idiot.
The Incredible Hulk's story was by far the most painful/touchy-feely of the bunch. But it turns out that everyone else in the class just works for various nonprofits. Some are pretty cool sounding. Some are not. But inevitably people wanted to work for some bleeding heart cause when they graduated. I wanted to ask the class a question: "How much debt do you have from law school and how do you intend to pay it off? I'm just wondering here. Is that a factor for anyone else?" Honestly and pragmatically, that is a factor for me and for a lot of other people. But no one seemed to give it a thought. So when I said I worked at a firm this summer I got a lot of looks. They ranged from "Oh...your one of those people"-type disdain, to "Oooo interesting"-type curiosity. Either way, I felt out of place. But I should have expected that in Public Interest Lawyering.
Now I don't mean to degrade public interest law. I really don't. I fully support it and I am happy to encourage people who genuinely are dedicated to public interest law and nothing else. And at some point in my career I would love to participate in public interest work. My caution is about people who ignore practicalities and people who are so cliched it makes me sick.
My anger is for...The Incredible Hulk. Learn to sit like a human being! This is a classroom, not your goddamn living room. Sit straight, be a little self-aware, and shut your mouth.

How Was Your First Day?

My biggest reflection on the first day of classes has to do with my Evidence professor. He is an older, portly man who just likes to sit down in random places in the room while he is talking. Plop is really a better word to describe what he does. He just sat down on the table, kicked his legs up, and kept talking about "the elephant in the room" with regards to evidence law for some reason. My favorite part of the class is that while moving around his seating, he ended up teaching about half of the class while sitting in the window sill like a cat. Except he is notably un-cat-like.

My Antitrust professor is just old and kind. Is he a Mormon? I don't know. Maybe. Supply and demand curves almost gave me anxiety, but I mastered the fear. Yes, Intro to Economics was my far and away worst grade in college. I'm not proud of it. But I am facing my fear. Plus I have a few good friends in the class, which helps motivate me to stay. Also, it can be a really useful subject. But there's a lot of reading. And I don't wanna do it. Quiet, stop whining. Suck it up, get back into the rhythm. Deal with it. Alright, fine.

I pissed off a bus driver so badly today by repeating my question twice when his first response was a noncommittal grunt. Sorry, grunting bus driver, sorry to ruin your nonverbal day. Drive the bus now. More speed, less attitude.

Oh, Also...

The Target here is absolutely the worst. It has nothing on the shelves. I went there to pick up a couple of things for the kitchen. The only things they had were overpriced garbage next to empty shelves where the things I wanted should have been. What is going on? We already have the "Soviet Safeway," which often lacks bread on the shelves. Come on, Target. I got some of the stuff next door at Bed Bath & Beyond (I was careful around the Beyond section, don't worry, old joke). And the BB&B stuff was nicer and cheaper. Target, if you want to keep your reputation as a solid discount store, you need to pick up the slack. Also, get some better, more respectful customers. I know that isn't your fault, but if one more woman hit me with her cart, I was going to flip out.
That is all.

Last First Day

Tomorrow is likely to be my last first day of school ever. That seems pretty crazy to me. 19th grade, here I come. It's been a long time since kindergarten's first day. Actually, there I started two weeks late because I had the chicken pox (now a cured disease, come on!) and really did not want to go to school on the first day. I was so afraid. Now I still don't want to go, but I am anything but afraid. Honestly, I am bored. It's a grind, and I am looking forward to a new routine. But I am also somewhat excited. First year of law school was...awful. Second year was...moderately bad. This year I do not have high expectations and I certainly am not going to fall in love with my school, but I know the drill and I feel like have mastered it to some extent. There is some security in the third year. I can't say I'm bored yet ("the third year they bore you to death"), but just you wait. So here's to beginnings and ends.

It is good to be back in DC. I was away longer than I wanted to be. JetBlue was nice and let me get back before Hurricane Irene struck. I mean "struck." The "hurricane" was just a lot of rain and more wind than we are used to. I think some leaves were affected the most. Maybe a couple of magazine racks. I learned to play Settler of Catan with Kerry, Alena, and Ed. Then we pretended that the weather was bad by turning out the lights. We lit candles because otherwise they just seemed like a waste. "Mmm hmm, there's gonna be weather." Maybe not as much as anticipated here. But it didn't stop a Trader Joe's mob on Saturday morning apparently. I got there later in the morning mostly because I needed to buy food, having not been here for a couple of weeks. The store was an interesting me of 1) regular shoppers, like me, 2) people freaking out and buying nonperishable food and looking like maniacs, and 3) people stocking up on alcohol. The wine section was easily getting emptied the quickest. I approved.

Ok, back to school for a second. Being smart, I still haven't bought two of my textbooks. It doesn't help that one casts $160 and there are no used versions because it's a new edition. What a pain in the butt. What do I want more, my Evidence textbook (to be used during my 8:50 am class three times per week) or a nice, new futon? Happily, the choice is not plainly one or another, but you see where I'm going with this. That's just...more money than I want to pay for this crap.
Other classes I am taking: Professional Responsibility (lawyer ethics - they do teach us ethics!), Antitrust (topical), and Public Interest Lawyering (co-requisite for my internship. I will pass/fail this class and nearly fail it). This is mostly a semester of fulfilling requirements. Next semester I will live it up.

I get The Great Roommate Change of '11 this week. It should be interesting. Soon a new soul (my friend Ryan) will share the pain of my neighbor's incessant coughing. Some night I'm just going to call an ambulance for my neighbor. Maybe the police will show up with the ambulance. I wouldn't be shocked if they came across a decent amount of illegal substances (which are probably the reason that he coughs so damn much. Stop smoking and shut the hell up!). But I am excited to live with Ryan. I have a feeling that this could decrease my productivity at home a good deal. And maybe increase me in-house beer consumption. Uh oh. Whatever, it's 3L, right?

Hurricane playlist mandatory songs:
Bob Dylan - Hurricane (duh!)
Bob Dylan - Blowin' In The Wind
The Doors - Riders on the Storm
The Scorpions - Rock You Like A Hurricane
Blind Melon - No Rain

The Little League World Series just wrapped up. The Yankees tried to enter the tournament just to stroke their ego, but were rejected. No beating up on 12-year olds for you!

This Is The Story of the Hurricane - Not That Punny

I think Qaddafi is hiding out in Pakistan. That would be so funny. Just my guess.

I switched my flight back to DC because of the hurricane, just as a precaution. A better safe than sorry thing. Storms are supposed to start in DC on Saturday afternoon, and my flight was scheduled to arrive Saturday afternoon, so why risk it? Instead, I will be flying down tomorrow night.
But logistics aside, people are really worried about the hurricane. Why? It's bad weather, worse than usual, yes, but still just bad weather. You can't really do anything about it. Buying water and candles is one thing, but stockpiling canned meals is another. Home Depot sold out of batteries apparently. Knowing DC residents (from Snowpocalypse), they will be buying anything left on the shelf. Why? You aren't going into hibernation. It's just a really bad storm. If you are really that worried, I think your time may be better spent building an altar to Zeus.

Tonight I let Groupon do the work for me. I often don't buy into these internet fad things. But somehow I like these discount deals. I mean, of course I like the discount, but more than that I like that they help me choose which restaurant to go to. Tonight I had dinner with Leah and Erica, which was very fun and good to see them. I didn't know where to go, but Groupon had a huge deal on the nicest restaurant in town, so we went there and ate great food for cheap. Not to mention being vaguely underdressed for the formality of the restaurant, but that somehow made it even better. Especially when dinner conversation involves topics perhaps inappropriate for the setting. But the end result: so much pasta, can't move. Thanks for making a great decision for me, Groupon.

Radio Silence

Wow, so sorry for the radio silence. It's been...a lot. I was sick for a while in DC, then came up to Boston for a nice little vacation and ended up in the hospital for a few days. Dream vacation. Better than a cruise. No really, the hospital is less confining than a cruise ship, minus the whole being sick thing. At least there was no rocking. But there were vital sign check-ins every four hours. My favorite one was the regular 4 am check-in. It didn't lead to a lot of good sleep, let me say.

But now I am out and healthy(ish), regaining my energy and having a "real" vacation. I had to postpone my DC return, and in doing so I missed the DC earthquake. Too bad, I have never been in an earthquake. It sounds exciting. Added bonus: none of the stuff in my apartment broke or fell. My roommate reports that some of the pictures on my walls are askew. Damn you, earthquake! But really what is this, California? We don't have nearly enough actors to cause earthquakes in DC.

My time in Boston is going pretty well. I am just hanging out, relaxing...shootin' some b-ball outside of school. Alright, maybe not that. More like going to the outlets with Shaked and Ron and trying to convince Ron to buy argyle sweater-vests. But if you are in Boston and want to see me, I suggest you let me know. I'm looking at Erica right now. That's right, getting called out in a blog post. Which you may or may not read. I understand after the long silence, people may have thought I sunk after hitting an iceberg. Not the case. It's summer - there aren't icebergs. Idiot.

I'm sorry, but I really do not get the appeal of Mad Men. I am on the Season 1 finale, and there is still no concrete plot line. A lot of things just kind of happen. So what? Do people like it because it is breaking the traditional Aristotelian plot progression? I doubt it. Is it the 60's style? Or is it just that the actors look pretty? I just don't get it. And yet...I've watched season 1 and the question remains - why?

I wish that I had my class schedule figured out. But I don't. I would love to know how many credits my internship will give me. But why would the school want to tell me a silly thing like that? Oh yeah, I got an internship for this semester. It should be fun and more importantly minimize the time I have to spend in a lecture, reading a textbook, or taking a final.

In other news, I got an offer from my firm. It happened the same day I got out of the hospital. That was...a very good day. I don't think the impact of it has quite sunk in, but I am happy and consider myself very lucky. I would say the odds are about 95% that I will take it. Deep breath. Very lucky.

Sunday TV

Dear ESPN,
Just so you know, NASCAR is not a sport. So why you are going to show it for about half the daytime hours today? What a waste.
Thanks,
Will

So the U.S. has an AA+ that's still a better grade than you've ever gotten, I bet.
I really don't know what S&P is doing here. Who is the guy who ok's the decision to downgrade U.S. debt? That's such an unpatriotic decision. I hope he has a difficult time sleeping at night. Come on! That's like spray painting devil horns onto the Lincoln Memorial.

Now everyone is talking about double-dipped recessions. I don't know what that means, but I do love double-dipped ice cream!

Alright, let's face it, I really don't understand economics. I'm watching Larry Summers on CNN right now, and he's speakin' so reckless right now.

The Past Week

Alright, so now I'm sick. I have a fever and it hurts to swallow. I will live to fight another day. But it came at about as convenient a time as it could have. I am done with work, back from a vacation in Maine, and have a few days before I head up to Boston. I think this is one of those illnesses where my body finally stopped running and realized it needed to get sick. At least that's how my mother would explain it. Hold on, I'm going out to CVS to get ice cream. Brb.

Alright, mischief managed. Anyways, despite being sick life is not so bad. Last Friday was the last day of work. None of the summer associates really had anything to do. So we cut out early with a few associates and got margaritas and food at Lauriol Plaza. From there we hit up Big Hunt and Buffalo Billiards, the usual haunts. We all agreed that we were happy with the summer and we hope to get offers. The time line for hearing should be another week or two.
I think I have mentioned it before, but it bears repeating. My firm was collegial and relaxed, and there was no one I would not want to work with that I encountered. No sadists, lunatics, or stereotypical biglaw jerks. Everyone worked a lot and worked hard, but was generally happy. It was a much better vibe than I had hoped for. So I would like an offer. It would at least save me some grief. But I would also probably take it. If I have to work in biglaw, then I'd like to work in a good place with fun people. But now the ten week job interview is over and the decision is out of my hands. If worst comes to worst, I got a lot of free monogrammed swag out of it.

Last weekend was highlighted by Emma's band coming to play. They played at the lead singer's cousin's house party and I was told to come and invite friends. I ended up bringing a dozen people with me, so I was nervous that we were just invading someone's house. But it turned out perfectly. The band rocked, everyone loved the music and danced their faces off, and there was free booze. Win-win-win.
Apparently the band made up a song on the spot about bootydo ("When your stomach sticks out farther than you bootydo") while everyone was dancing. And many of my friends were somehow surprised that I brought them to a good party with a fun band. Thanks for the vote of confidence.
It was great to see Emma and her band. There is something gratifying about being the only person who knows any lyrics to any of the songs. Also, something creepy about it.

Monday through Thursday Kerry and I went to Maine to visit Packard. Maine was...great. I actually went to sleep chilly for the first time in months. And the Packard family is awesome. I would much rather lay on a boat in the middle of the lake in Maine enjoying the sun than sweat through my shirt at 7:45 am on the Metro going to work. But that's not much of a comparison is it? Well, I got to do that boat thing. I also got to grill steaks, go on a cocktail cruise, go to the outlets, and walk around Portland. All in a couple of day's work. Uncharacteristically, the most incredible thing I did was lie in the boat for a half an hour at night, looking at the stars. Sounds sappy, I know, but I did see three shooting stars. The sky was so clear, it was like being in a planetarium. Ok, now I need to say something masculine to cover for the fact that star-gazing was actually quite moving. How about...big dipper, I barely know her. Oh, that's terrible. Let's move on.

I finished "Game of Thrones" and am moving on to "Clash of Kings." Quite addictive. The only problem is that I don't want to have Game of Thrones dreams, so I'm not sure how much of it I should read before bed. I don't even need to dream about the Knight's Watch and wake up wondering how I got to be Hand of the King. It's unhealthy. Nerd alert!

Star Wars and Lord of the Rings: these are a few of my favorite things. It rhymes. And it's true.

I like watching the Nationals and listening to their announcers pretend they still have a shot at the Wild Card. Just because it is statistically still possible to win it, does not mean they have a shot. The Nationals are a scrappy bunch, but they are not going to the playoffs this season. I'm sorry.

Agh, I wish I could think of more to say. Particularly more amusing things. But this darn fever is clouding my thoughts. Fever, fever go away, come again...never.

Last Day of the Firm

The last day of work was surprisingly bittersweet. I had a good summer and learned a lot. But I look forward to wearing nothing but jeans and not shaving every day!

Simone de Beauvoir, you strike again.

Lard Tour

Today's social event at the firm was the "Lard Tour" - a day where the goal is to eat as unhealthy and as much as possible. This was complicated for me by having an upset stomach for the past three days, which relented yesterday afternoon. But the Lard Tour did not ask my stomach's permission. The day started off at 8:45 when our recruiting coordinator called us up to a conference room for breakfast. There were cups of hashbrowns and french toast as dense as a brick. I went with the healthiest option presented, a vegetable and avocado panini that you could taste the butter in. The day continued with lunch a bit after noon. We went to a restaurant serving New Orleans cuisine, Eatonville. Apparently there was a semi-competition between the summers, encouraged by the partners, about who could push themselves the farther to eat. The winner is dubbed the Lard Winner. A dubious title. Appetizers for the table (all of which I ate) where crab cakes, mac and cheese (insanely good), lamb sliders, cajun french fries, and corn bread (also stellar). Because the service was so bad, they also brought us po' boys with fried shrimp and oysters as appetizers. I was full already. Then I had a plate of ribs and grits. It was delicious and got gobbled down. Meanwhile the other summers began to struggle, although Chris ate his entire entree po' boy, quite the feat. Dessert was where it was decided. Most summers got a piece of chocolate cake. So did I, but I also got a slice of pecan pie and an extra scoop of ice cream. I somehow managed to pack it down my throat and into my stomach, which was surprisingly cooperative. I was dubbed Lard Winner and awarded a pink pig baseball cap which I was forced to wear in a ritual uncannily like hazing. Damn my competitive streak! But my stomach is still holding up pretty well. Oh yeah!

The stomach thing started in New York this Saturday. New York was fun, minus the moderate illness. I stayed at Jonah's and hated on things with him. My stomach actually kept me from going out on Saturday night, but Jonah assured me I would have hated the bar they went to - long line and full of hipsters. Yeah, doesn't sound like my scene. It was also good to see Klassy, Kate, Allie, Jenks, Naomi, and Lorand. Lots of college people who have scattered across the country.
On Saturday we went to Coney Island. It was one of the trashiest yet most entertaining places I have ever been. It was also approximately 100 degrees. Probably didn't help my stomach. But I did ride the Cyclone, the world's oldest roller coaster, which happens to be made of wood. It's like playing a really prolonged game of Russian Roulette. The clacking of the cars across the wooden planks is a scary noise. Anything can happen on a 90 year-old roller coaster. I also ate at the original Nathan's Hot Dogs. Throw in sitting on the beach while everyone else swims and Jonah and I gripe about sand and you have a lovely, if sun-burn-y, day at Coney Island.

I am reading Game of Thrones. It is unfortunately addictive. I'm not saying it haunts my dreams, but I have had dreams about it. I gotta stop reading it before bed. That time should be reserved for How I Met Your Mother.

As I said to Reza today, if saving the world paid the same as destroying it, no one would destroy it.

Speaking of destroying the world, the debt ceiling crap is ridiculous and I have lost interest. And I like politics. This is absolutely disgusting. Everyone pull it together. Lock it up!

Ludacris,
I can go two and a half feet low. That is how low I can go.
Keep asking insightful questions,
Will

I think I have an interview for a fall internship next Friday. Here's hoping! It should be exciting. Turns out that sometimes answering Unknown numbers on your cell phone while at work is a good idea!

Update on Bottle Service

As it turns out, the summer from Chicago who plopped down his credit card, certain it would be reimbursed, will not be repaid for the bottle service he ordered. Told you it was unnecessary. For his status grab, he will take a nice $750 hit on his credit card. That's what being overly ambitious gets you. I feel bad on one level, but I think it serves him right on another. Not necessary and impressing no one.

Chi-Town

I just got back from my trip to Chicago. What's that firm? You want to fly all of the summers nationwide into Chicago for a retreat? No, I have no problem with a free trip to Chicago. So all 31 summers from all offices got to meet each other and get put up in a nice hotel. Wednesday night all of the summers had a cooking competition. Basically we divided into four teams, each under the supervision of a professional chef, and cooked three dishes. My veal marsala was pretty darn good, but ultimately my team did not win. I think it's because we didn't put bacon in. Should have stuck to that plan. The event was surprisingly fun between the good food, beer, and collegial atmosphere. Afterwards all of the summers headed out to a bar together. The recruiting staff was emphatic about taking all our name tags off before we went out (so the firm doesn't get blamed if we do something stupid). My own name tag was practically ripped off my shirt. Without the comfort of name tags, we all headed out to a bar. Some genius in the Chicago office must have suggested this swanky rooftop bar since that's where we ended up. With bottle service (???). Totally unnecessary. It was apparently justified as the most efficient way to get drinks for 30 people. Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. What a stupid waste of money. What an unnecessary status symbol. Why did we need two bottles of vodka for an insane amount of money? We could have filled a hotel room with 30 racks for the same cost. Now there's an efficient way for 30 people to get drinks. So...yeah, I was slightly uncomfortable with getting bottle service. After that bar, a few of us went to a second for a beer before heading back to the hotel for not enough sleep.

The next day consisted of meetings with firm management and a mock negotiation session. I'll call that the "business portion" of the trip. It lasted about 8 hours. For about 4 of those hours I was wondering whether there was any amount of caffeine that would make me feel entirely awake. I think the answer was no - but the early evening nap helped.
For the evening all of the summers headed to a reception at a partner's house. It was nice enough. Excellent cupcakes. The partner had claimed she was cooking for all of us, yet there was a catering staff preparing all of the food. Questionable. Maybe "cooking" means "writing a check." Like the Brits call an elevator a lift. But that's not the fun part.
The fun part was trekking out to the bars in Wriggleyville. We started with 30 summer associates and a handful of associates and partners from the Chicago office. Expense account. Woo! Cue beers, whiskey shots, car bombs, etc. Soon there was an exodus (Bob Marley style) and there were about ten summer associates left, including all five from the DC office and five few from other assorted offices. The ten of us headed to a second bar that provided us with jello shots and more beers. Soon our number dwindled to seven - all five from DC, and one each from New York and Silicon Valley. Pause for a moment. Out of 31 summers total, only 7 survived the second bar, but the entire DC office was still out. Bomb! I think we know what the coolest office is. Unpause. Our second bar was closing a little before 2. Nick, who is from Chicago, goes "Hey guys, I think I know a bar that's open until 4. Let's go!" So the seven of us head out at 2 am to our third bar of the night. I do not remember the name of this bar, but it was surprisingly packed and not one person in it was anywhere approaching sober. Don't you all have jobs? This is 2 am on a Thursday night, what's your master plan for tomorrow? No time to contemplate such things, more beers!
By 3 am, the seven of us (all five from DC, oh yeah! What good bonding!) were pretty hungry. We wandered down the street (the wrong way at first, quite surprisingly) to find pizza. We got to a pizza place that was closing down. "How many slices do you have left?" "Only three." "We'll take all of them." "Um, alright. I guess I'll give you a discount...they are pretty cold." Fine, bring on the discount, that pizza was fantastic, but not enough. Chris wanted to buy a cookie, but freaked out in a fit of profanity upon hearing that it was a $3 cookie. I bought it for him anyways, but he brooded for about five minutes about the three dollar cookie. After the three slices of pizza and the three dollar cookie, we still wanted more to eat. There was a couple in the corner with two intact slices of pizza and we all stared like hyenas. Eventually the couple left, and just threw out the two slices. What? I'm not proud, but I was very close to picking one out of the top of the trash can (what??? it didn't touch anything except the plate it was already on!). Calm down, I didn't do it. Instead, we took cabs back to the hotel and found a 24 hour Dunkin Donuts down the block. I bet you are expecting the ending that we ate donuts until we were content. You'd be wrong if you expected that. It was closed. When does a 24 hour Dunkin Donuts close?? 3:30 am apparently. I have never been so disappointed in a Dunkin Donuts. And that includes the time that Nakul got food poisoning from bad Dunkin Donuts cream cheese. Hungry, the seven of us (five from DC) went to bed, ending an epic night of summer associate bonding...but only for the bold.

The next day I met up with Matt Hope. We went to the Pitchfork Music Festival with Leor and Amy. I didn't know any bands that were playing beforehand, but I liked Das Racist and Battles from what I saw of them. I did not like Animal Collective, to put it mildly. In my opinion they could not have played a more boring set with less rhythm, melody, or energy. It just pissed me off. But it was a good day nonetheless. Even if it was filled with hipsters. And I do mean filled.

Saturday, Matt and I walked around the Loop. We watched some street performers, including acrobats who were vaguely racist and ended up getting a ticket from the police (for being loud and drawing too large a crowd, not for being vaguely racist). Another highlight was walking into a Banana Republic and hearing two guys leaving the store saying, "Wow, we made out in there." I burst out laughing. I knew what they meant, but it was just hilarious. That night we went to a nice dinner, saw a great improv show at IO, met up with Amy at a bar, and saw a midnight sketch show. Mmmm, I missed good comedy. And Matt Hope. It was great to get to hang out with him. And to get him out of lab.

Now I am back in DC. And boy do I need some down time.

Unscripted

Today the summers all went to the Federal Circuit to watch oral arguments. An attorney from our firm was arguing in the last case, so that was cool to see, but I wish that the panel had grilled him a little harder on some points in his arguments. But the real highlight of the day was the two awful attorneys who argued in different cases. The first one was some dude, maybe 80 years old. I wasn't sure if he would answer the judges' questions or have a stroke: either seemed an equally likely possibility. It was almost impossible to understand him and he didn't really respond to the judges' questions. Note to self: don't send senile attorneys to court. The second was probably worse. She was a government attorney and had what was clearly the winning side of an argument. But she was also very new - this may have been her first oral argument. As such, she pretty much just read off of a script and was asked maybe one question. After she was done and the case was submitted, one of the judges leaned over at her and said: "Let me give you a piece of advice for next time: don't read your argument." It was absolutely devastating. When the case was all over she walked out of the court looking about to cry. Hey judge, this is a real case with real interests on the line, not a moot court competition. I understand that he was trying to be nice, but that is insanely cruel. There were also about a dozen better ways to say that to her, and he could not come up with one. Ouch.

At a point in his argument, another attorney stated, "I may not be the sharpest lawyer in this room, but I think it's pretty clear..." To which a judge responded, "Humility is nice, but don't sell yourself short." Definitely never seen that before.

Then we went to lunch with the partner who argued in court today. Due to a lack of reservations and creativity by the waitstaff, we had two separate tables of four rather than one of eight. I did not get to sit with the partner, which I wanted to do to ask him about his appellate practice and question him on some of the weaker points of today's argument (yeah, I'm a nerd). It was lucky, as it turned out, that I was not at that table. Apparently the conversation turned to politics, and I am not (politely) of the same mind on many matters as the partner. This, combined with me having a hard time keeping my mouth shut, would have brought about potentially disastrous consequences. Better that I eat my salad and shut up.

Since I couldn't say do it at lunch, I will now. Republicans (read while shaking your fist in the air).

You know you are in Washington when: you have had a serious conversation with your friend about the merits of raising the debt ceiling at a bar.
You know you are in Washington when: wearing a suit jacket is the best and worst decision of the day. Worst when you are walking outside, best when your teeth are chattering from the air conditioning.

A Lot Has Happened

Since posting last, I burned my finger on an iron trying to wrap the cord around it while still hot. I also mused to myself that "War Pigs" by Black Sabbath is in some ways quite similar to Bob Dylan's "Masters of War." I purchased my first Living Social deal (though this blog neither endorses nor shuns Living Social). Finally, I heard the worst song in the world: 100 Years by Five For Fighting. Someone shoot me now. No, just disconnect the CVS sound system.

A Tough Choice

Sunday afternoon Shaked and I were walking back from Georgetown when it looked like it was going to rain and rain bad. We power walked and made it about a block and a half away from my building when the sky just opened up. Drenching rain, getting blown around. We took cover under the overhang of a Chinese food restaurant with an older couple who turned out to be from Boston. We were having a nice conversation about Boston, waiting the rain out, when I saw a cockroach. Then two. Then three. All four of us simultaneously look down at the sewer grate we are standing next to and see roaches pouring out of it. A dozen or so big ones. The kind that might be able to take you in a fight. The woman just bolted without a word to her husband, who looked at us and said "I guess that's it," and followed his wife. I stupidly was about to say to Shaked that it wasn't that bad when I felt something crawling up my right ankle. Well, I did exactly what you would have done when faced with a choice between rain and roaches; I shook off the roach, screamed like a woman, and sprinted the block and a half home in the pouring rain. I beat Shaked, who was absolutely horrified, back to my building. It was the closest my life has ever been to a Goosebumps book.

I hope everyone had a good Independence Day and that no aliens attacked (only roaches?). I pretty much spent it writing cover letters for fall internships and watching fireworks from a friend's roof. On that note, if anyone happens to be bff with a congressman and wants to hook me up with an internship, I'd be fine with that. I wouldn't even complain.
Oh, right! I also had Shake Shack! It shook my shack. Then I had Qdoba because Shaked bought a salad and they were having a buy one, get one free promotion. Then I felt sick. Then I ate cake. Then I felt better.

Speaking of feeling sick, I had Pepto Bismol for the first time last week, I don't mind telling you. And it really worked! My stomach felt better in no time (well...some time). Good enough to drink Sam Adams at the bar down the street (which I may have been to three days in a row this weekend...by Sunday the bouncer didn't even card me because he knew I'd been there before. Oops? Or is this a good thing? Local bar, woo!)

Oh White Water, Keep on Rolling

Yesterday was white water rafting with the firm. Breakfast was at 7:15, bus left at 8. Despite the early morning, I was excited. There were 12 people from the firm. We were joined by approximately 80 5th grade campers on the rafting expedition. Luckily, our group got separate rafts and didn't really have to deal with energetic small children. After my raft nearly sunk and we waited half an hour to get a new one, the trip down the river got underway. We went from West Virginia (new state, cross it off the list!) down the Chesapeake to to Virginia. There is a point on the river where you can see the banks of Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland at the same time. Pretty cool. Plus some Civil War battle sights. Nerd alert! Despite being out in the sun for 6 hours or so, I managed not to get sunburned (except for a small strip on my right ankle). I guess slathering on non-CVS brand sunscreen was a good call. Man, I love white water rafting. Not even the sun could bring it down.

Then the second phase of the day began. It started with beers on the bus. 12 people, 60 beers, and one bottle of whiskey. Do the math. It equals inebriation. An associate made a deck of cards out of post-it notes, and we played Kings and a drinking game to the movie "Red" (every time Bruce Willis kills someone, take a drink; every time a major character dies, take a shot). We were all feeling good by the time we got back to the office. One summer got pulled into a meeting with a partner. One associate had to sit in on a conference call. The rest of us went out to the bar. Here's where I remind myself never to drink Red Bull again. Jager-bombs aren't a good idea. Especially not after an early morning and a long day in the sun. An even worse idea: the Irish Trash Can. This is a drink our raft guide told us about, seemingly daring us to drink later on. So of course the four people who were on my raft and heard about the Irish Trash Can had to throw caution to the wind and order them. The drink is essentially a Long Island Iced Tea with blue curacao and a Red Bull, turning it green and making it a bombshell of disgustingly sweet caffeine and alcohol. Anyone who got a phone call or text message last night, that is why. It's been a while since I did something that plainly ridiculous with a drink, but luckily everything worked out well. Everyone was feeling good and chatting, and it was generally a good team building exercise. Did I mention that law has an unabashed drinking culture?

I didn't feel great this morning. At all. But I still was at work by 8:30, dutifully slogging through research in Portuguese. Google Translate is a miracle function, but not perfect and I still don't speak Portuguese, which made the morning's task quite frustrating. Try reading a foreign language on a headache sometime.

In new, old news: cover letters are awful.

Pretense

Monday our softball game looked like it might be rained out. It was a dreary morning, but it gave way to a sunny, lovely day, which I got to enjoy from the air conditioned artificiality of my office. At game time, the playing field was good to go. We beat the pants off the other team (not literally, Park Police might have had something to say about that), winning 20-6. Returning to the office, I stupidly followed Nick on the "shortest way" back, involving going through the middle of the field. Remember, it was raining, so the middle of the field was actually a mine field of mud. A mud field. About 3/4 of the way through the mud I had enough and stupidly decided to start running. That's how much got basically up to my knees, to say nothing of coating my shoes. I had to have a drink with K-Dawg who was in town, so it was dilemma time. Luckily, the firm has showers in the basement. And towels. And soap. Now that's convenience. Of course I didn't plan well enough for my walk back to my office from the shower, and ended up riding the elevator in my dress shoes and athletic shorts with two bemused janitors.

Tuesday evening was the infamous wine tasting at the firm. 9 wines: 3 white, 3 red, 3 mystery red. Lots of pretension ("Blackberries, currant, and some black cherry, definitely cherry"). The "mystery reds" involved a taste test to determine which was a zinfandel, a merlot, and a cabernet. Like I said, lots of pretension ("It has a...dusty finish"). Only 3 people guessed all three right, that's statistically worse than if everyone in the room had randomly guessed. It shows you how random (read: pretentious, yes that word has to be thrown around when discussing a wine tasting) it all is. After the official tasting portion of the wine tasting, the summers and a group of associates headed out to the bars. I have to say, it is pretty intimidating to watch the bartender hand out a dozen Mind Erasers followed by a few rounds of jello shots. Then on to the next bar to play flip cup. In a rare flash of brilliance, I left around midnight rather than sticking it out until the bitter end, which I am told was around 2 am. I did stay for long enough to see one associate storm out of the bar and call for her husband to follow her after a challenging team cheated at flip cup and heated words were exchanged. Luckily, I was not a part of any bad behavior and I was relatively alright the next morning. I actually showed up to work a bit before 9 and didn't have to close the door for a nap. I am told that many associates were not as lucky. Upon reflection, there were some people, largely women, who drank about as much as me and do not weigh nearly as much. They had particularly rough mornings. But my streak of minding myself at firm events is continuing. Halfway through the summer without a major social faux pas!!

The rest of the week was pretty mundane. My mid-summer performance review went pretty well. I didn't really get any constructive criticism, but the flip side is that nothing is wrong. Good thing I have not yet chosen to wear my dog costume and written a memo saying "Woof woof, bark woof bark. Yip."

Last night at the bar I waited literally 25 minutes for a bartender to notice me and place my drink order. Finally I ordered a cider and a whiskey soda - but he had to go downstairs to find me a cider. Then, when he got back up, he charged me $17 and moved on. It would have taken another half hour before I could argue with him about the price, so rather than protest I went on a profanity-laced tirade to my table. I felt better after that, and after the drink was safely in my stomach. But I can't decide if he was wholly incompetent or a brilliant strategist on behalf of the bar. I'm leaning towards the former, but you never know. For my revenge I didn't leave a tip - for the first time I think ever.

Also last night, I had mind-blowing donuts. I know you think most donuts are just donuts. But Ten Penh's donuts are something....special. They are outta this world delicious, topped with cinnamon sugar. It's like reinventing the donut wheel.

I don't think there are any good bagels in this city.

I get sunburned really easily. Like insanely easily. It's a problem. And I have been applying sunscreen, no matter how much I dislike the smell. Now it could be just because I wear the CVS brand sunscreen rather than shelling out the big bucks for a brand name (hellooooo Neutrogina). But I think it might be something else. Maybe I'm dehydrated, which makes it easier for the sun to...burn me. Sounds pretty flimsy. I know I am pale, this is ridiculous.

You Wanted It

Aaaand we're back. Sorry, I just get busy sometimes. If it helps, I didn't get around to speaking to my mother for a couple of days. But Matt does a pretty good Will. And I love it. So here we are.

Work continues to be pretty good. I got an assignment that I am not thrilled about that necessarily involved converting a pdf file to a docx file to a doc file. Now this might sound like a bunch of silly techno mumbo jumbo, but the result was taking three hours to reformat and retype a couple of documents. It was...less than thrilling. And it really did not require any skills that I may have picked up in the past two years of law school.
The other summers and I went out Friday night in Dupont. It was remarkable because it was the first time we had no one from the firm. Therefore we could let loose (read: drink to excess should we choose). The evening began with a stiff manhattan while waiting for two of the summers to finish work (it was after 5!). I was on an empty stomach, so the cocktail and subsequent couple of beers could have knocked me for a loop. But do not worry, gentle reader (Ugh, I hate Miss Manners), I dug in my heals, ate a cheeseburger, and rallied. We all had a good night, full of semi-competitive skee ball and whiskey shots. I learned some things about the other summers - one is a profane drunk, another wears robes as study attire. Good things.
Now, this was actually a very lawyerly activity. To the untrained eye it may seem like we were just going out for a Friday night. But we were actually preparing ourselves for this upcoming Tuesday evening, when the firm will be hosting a wine tasting for us (emphasis on the tasting not on the wine, as an associate described it). The phrase "wined and dined" will be hilariously literal. I have been warned that I may not be incredibly productive with work on Wednesday morning. Good thing there are little packets of Advil next to the coffee machine!

"Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it" - David Sedaris. I like it. Very appropriate. I read it in a book of sassy quotations in a women's clothing store in the mall. Is this where wisdom comes from?

Clarence Clemons, the sax player from the E Street Band, died. Sad face. Moment of silence for the Big Man.

I am displaying the beginning symptoms of an addiction to How I Met Your Mother.

I did a mitzvah. I got a drunk man kicked out of a bar this weekend, with Rebecca. No more stumbling around, bumping chairs, and scaring girls for you, mister. Rebecca and I both considered it a mitzvah at the time, but now that I write it out loud (yeah, I see the issue with that) it seems less like the title of mitzvah applies. So what is it then??

Forgetting the ending to "Walk to Remember" made it really awkward when I asked Shaked why they didn't make a sequel. At least I knew it was the one with Mandy Moore! Hrm, maybe this is something I shouldn't have written.

People keep assuming that I'm stoked the Bruins won. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy about it. But hockey is my fourth sport...like, way behind the first three. Aside from winning ("Winning" - Charlie Sheen), my favorite story about the Stanley Cup was Canadians rioting and then apologizing to the city of Boston. How un-Canadian! I like that the out of character action was a story in itself. If the riots had been in Boston, would we have apologized to Canada? I doubt it.

I will try to update more regularly! Conscious effort: go.