Pretense

Monday our softball game looked like it might be rained out. It was a dreary morning, but it gave way to a sunny, lovely day, which I got to enjoy from the air conditioned artificiality of my office. At game time, the playing field was good to go. We beat the pants off the other team (not literally, Park Police might have had something to say about that), winning 20-6. Returning to the office, I stupidly followed Nick on the "shortest way" back, involving going through the middle of the field. Remember, it was raining, so the middle of the field was actually a mine field of mud. A mud field. About 3/4 of the way through the mud I had enough and stupidly decided to start running. That's how much got basically up to my knees, to say nothing of coating my shoes. I had to have a drink with K-Dawg who was in town, so it was dilemma time. Luckily, the firm has showers in the basement. And towels. And soap. Now that's convenience. Of course I didn't plan well enough for my walk back to my office from the shower, and ended up riding the elevator in my dress shoes and athletic shorts with two bemused janitors.

Tuesday evening was the infamous wine tasting at the firm. 9 wines: 3 white, 3 red, 3 mystery red. Lots of pretension ("Blackberries, currant, and some black cherry, definitely cherry"). The "mystery reds" involved a taste test to determine which was a zinfandel, a merlot, and a cabernet. Like I said, lots of pretension ("It has a...dusty finish"). Only 3 people guessed all three right, that's statistically worse than if everyone in the room had randomly guessed. It shows you how random (read: pretentious, yes that word has to be thrown around when discussing a wine tasting) it all is. After the official tasting portion of the wine tasting, the summers and a group of associates headed out to the bars. I have to say, it is pretty intimidating to watch the bartender hand out a dozen Mind Erasers followed by a few rounds of jello shots. Then on to the next bar to play flip cup. In a rare flash of brilliance, I left around midnight rather than sticking it out until the bitter end, which I am told was around 2 am. I did stay for long enough to see one associate storm out of the bar and call for her husband to follow her after a challenging team cheated at flip cup and heated words were exchanged. Luckily, I was not a part of any bad behavior and I was relatively alright the next morning. I actually showed up to work a bit before 9 and didn't have to close the door for a nap. I am told that many associates were not as lucky. Upon reflection, there were some people, largely women, who drank about as much as me and do not weigh nearly as much. They had particularly rough mornings. But my streak of minding myself at firm events is continuing. Halfway through the summer without a major social faux pas!!

The rest of the week was pretty mundane. My mid-summer performance review went pretty well. I didn't really get any constructive criticism, but the flip side is that nothing is wrong. Good thing I have not yet chosen to wear my dog costume and written a memo saying "Woof woof, bark woof bark. Yip."

Last night at the bar I waited literally 25 minutes for a bartender to notice me and place my drink order. Finally I ordered a cider and a whiskey soda - but he had to go downstairs to find me a cider. Then, when he got back up, he charged me $17 and moved on. It would have taken another half hour before I could argue with him about the price, so rather than protest I went on a profanity-laced tirade to my table. I felt better after that, and after the drink was safely in my stomach. But I can't decide if he was wholly incompetent or a brilliant strategist on behalf of the bar. I'm leaning towards the former, but you never know. For my revenge I didn't leave a tip - for the first time I think ever.

Also last night, I had mind-blowing donuts. I know you think most donuts are just donuts. But Ten Penh's donuts are something....special. They are outta this world delicious, topped with cinnamon sugar. It's like reinventing the donut wheel.

I don't think there are any good bagels in this city.

I get sunburned really easily. Like insanely easily. It's a problem. And I have been applying sunscreen, no matter how much I dislike the smell. Now it could be just because I wear the CVS brand sunscreen rather than shelling out the big bucks for a brand name (hellooooo Neutrogina). But I think it might be something else. Maybe I'm dehydrated, which makes it easier for the sun to...burn me. Sounds pretty flimsy. I know I am pale, this is ridiculous.

You Wanted It

Aaaand we're back. Sorry, I just get busy sometimes. If it helps, I didn't get around to speaking to my mother for a couple of days. But Matt does a pretty good Will. And I love it. So here we are.

Work continues to be pretty good. I got an assignment that I am not thrilled about that necessarily involved converting a pdf file to a docx file to a doc file. Now this might sound like a bunch of silly techno mumbo jumbo, but the result was taking three hours to reformat and retype a couple of documents. It was...less than thrilling. And it really did not require any skills that I may have picked up in the past two years of law school.
The other summers and I went out Friday night in Dupont. It was remarkable because it was the first time we had no one from the firm. Therefore we could let loose (read: drink to excess should we choose). The evening began with a stiff manhattan while waiting for two of the summers to finish work (it was after 5!). I was on an empty stomach, so the cocktail and subsequent couple of beers could have knocked me for a loop. But do not worry, gentle reader (Ugh, I hate Miss Manners), I dug in my heals, ate a cheeseburger, and rallied. We all had a good night, full of semi-competitive skee ball and whiskey shots. I learned some things about the other summers - one is a profane drunk, another wears robes as study attire. Good things.
Now, this was actually a very lawyerly activity. To the untrained eye it may seem like we were just going out for a Friday night. But we were actually preparing ourselves for this upcoming Tuesday evening, when the firm will be hosting a wine tasting for us (emphasis on the tasting not on the wine, as an associate described it). The phrase "wined and dined" will be hilariously literal. I have been warned that I may not be incredibly productive with work on Wednesday morning. Good thing there are little packets of Advil next to the coffee machine!

"Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it" - David Sedaris. I like it. Very appropriate. I read it in a book of sassy quotations in a women's clothing store in the mall. Is this where wisdom comes from?

Clarence Clemons, the sax player from the E Street Band, died. Sad face. Moment of silence for the Big Man.

I am displaying the beginning symptoms of an addiction to How I Met Your Mother.

I did a mitzvah. I got a drunk man kicked out of a bar this weekend, with Rebecca. No more stumbling around, bumping chairs, and scaring girls for you, mister. Rebecca and I both considered it a mitzvah at the time, but now that I write it out loud (yeah, I see the issue with that) it seems less like the title of mitzvah applies. So what is it then??

Forgetting the ending to "Walk to Remember" made it really awkward when I asked Shaked why they didn't make a sequel. At least I knew it was the one with Mandy Moore! Hrm, maybe this is something I shouldn't have written.

People keep assuming that I'm stoked the Bruins won. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy about it. But hockey is my fourth sport...like, way behind the first three. Aside from winning ("Winning" - Charlie Sheen), my favorite story about the Stanley Cup was Canadians rioting and then apologizing to the city of Boston. How un-Canadian! I like that the out of character action was a story in itself. If the riots had been in Boston, would we have apologized to Canada? I doubt it.

I will try to update more regularly! Conscious effort: go.

Wine Arm

The review session was early in the morning (read: 9:30 am), and I came in bleary eyed with a large cup of coffee. I sit closer to the professor than my usual seat. The professor kept looking at me. I thought it was because I asked a question. Alright professor, whatever you want. I look to Stephanie on my left and something catches my eye. A little splotch of purple. What was that? Oh, it's a wine stain on the sleeve of my sweatshirt, lovely. Glad my professor was probably looking at that. I'm sure he's impressed. It's not even from last night!!! Though Tracy did punch me while I was holding a glass of wine last night, causing me to spill it all over my arm. Thanks for that. Sorry professor. Sorry sweatshirt. Sorry wine arm.

W(h)ine

This weekend was varied. Nakul came to visit Friday night, which was very nice of him. Mostly we just hung out, but let's not forget the hour and a half we spent at my roommate's friend's apartment with an awkward mix of people. The apartment itself was really nice. I mean really nice. I mean the people who live there must have help from mommy and daddy. As for the people, there were some people who I knew who it was good to see. But there were lots of people who I didn't know who it was not particularly good to see (meet). The first girl I was talking to was also from Newton and, despite explaining it twice, did not grasp how Nakul and I knew each other since we did not go to college together. Then she asked me where I was from again and I had to remind her that it was her hometown too. At this point I was pretty much done talking to this girl, gave curt responses, and angled my body away from her. But she somehow took this as a signal to keep talking to me. Thankfully she wandered away. Soon more people I didn't know arrived. I would like to make it clear I do not have a problem with foreigners. But have you ever noticed how all men from foreign countries dress exactly the same? They all wear two hundred dollar jeans, a button down shirt with the top 4 buttons undone, and no undershirt. They do this weather or not they have a forrest of chest hair or their chest looks like a seven year old's. I do not understand why buttoning your shirt and/or wearing an undershirt never happens. Is it against the culture of the rest of the world? I'm growing to think it might be. Well all of the people at the apartment eventually, around midnight, decided they wanted to go out. This inevitably meant someplace with music too loud to talk over where drinks would cost more than $4, so I decided not to go. Instead I gave Nakul stir fry and went to sleep.

Saturday morning I went to softball with the law school's softball club. It was an enjoyable pick-up game with a wide array of skill levels, from people who struggled to make contact with the ball to people who played division 1 baseball in college. My hitting certainly is not the best anymore, but in my defense I haven't really practiced since I was thirteen. My defensive instincts, however, are still sharp. It's no big deal, but I made a couple of good plays in the field. Softball is every weekend, so I hope to return and hone my skills.

I ate a pasta bread bowl from Domino's. It was delicious, but it almost killed me. I was so fat and lethargic after it, I barely made it home. I'm pretty sure if you eat more than one a month you'll die. So be warned.

Today I went with Rebecca to Monticello. If you don't remember elementary school, that's Thomas Jefferson's estate. If you don't remember anything you've ever learned, that's the third President of the United States. (The first two were George Washington Carver and Sam Adams if I'm not mistaken.) Monticello is beautiful. It's also in the middle of nowhere, so it was a hefty drive to the middle of Virginia that occurred today. Apparently Jefferson was a botanist just for funsies, and there are tons of flowers and over 300 types of crops growing in the garden. I was actually pretty uncomfortable for a while there because it was so nice mostly because of slaves. I had and am still having a hard time seeing the man who wrote "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal..." as a slave holder. It is incomprehensible to me that someone so smart and so progressive could be so hypocritical. Sad really. But it was really nice to get out of the city and to remember that there are...I don't know, trees and hills, and that not everyone in the world comes with a blackberry glued to their ear.

Apparently Virginia is wine country. There are a bunch of vineyards in central Virginia. Who knew? We went to a vineyard and did a little wine tasting. I think we tried 11 wines - 1 rose, 3 white, 6 red, and 2 dessert. I would say that 6 of them were awful, 3 were ok, and 2 were good. I am not a wine snob. I don't know much about wine. I basically know what I like and what I don't like. Here's something I don't like: a Cabernet that tastes like wine-water. In fact I don't think anyone likes that. But that didn't discourage this vineyard from making it. Apparently there is some market for it in Virginia. So people like bad things, what else is new? This was my first wine tasting ever, and I did end up buying a bottle to commemorate it. But wine tastings make you act like an elitist jerk apparently. I had the urge to comment on the "bouquet" and the "mouthfeel" of the wine. I'm pretty sure I have never felt the need to discuss either of these things before. In fact I usually just drink the wine and don't make pretentious comments Then again, I'm not sure anyone is checking out the bouquet of Franzia.

On the drive home I saw a restaurant advertisement that said, in big red letters, "WE HAVE CRABS."