The last day of work was surprisingly bittersweet. I had a good summer and learned a lot. But I look forward to wearing nothing but jeans and not shaving every day!
Simone de Beauvoir, you strike again.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Lard Tour
Today's social event at the firm was the "Lard Tour" - a day where the goal is to eat as unhealthy and as much as possible. This was complicated for me by having an upset stomach for the past three days, which relented yesterday afternoon. But the Lard Tour did not ask my stomach's permission. The day started off at 8:45 when our recruiting coordinator called us up to a conference room for breakfast. There were cups of hashbrowns and french toast as dense as a brick. I went with the healthiest option presented, a vegetable and avocado panini that you could taste the butter in. The day continued with lunch a bit after noon. We went to a restaurant serving New Orleans cuisine, Eatonville. Apparently there was a semi-competition between the summers, encouraged by the partners, about who could push themselves the farther to eat. The winner is dubbed the Lard Winner. A dubious title. Appetizers for the table (all of which I ate) where crab cakes, mac and cheese (insanely good), lamb sliders, cajun french fries, and corn bread (also stellar). Because the service was so bad, they also brought us po' boys with fried shrimp and oysters as appetizers. I was full already. Then I had a plate of ribs and grits. It was delicious and got gobbled down. Meanwhile the other summers began to struggle, although Chris ate his entire entree po' boy, quite the feat. Dessert was where it was decided. Most summers got a piece of chocolate cake. So did I, but I also got a slice of pecan pie and an extra scoop of ice cream. I somehow managed to pack it down my throat and into my stomach, which was surprisingly cooperative. I was dubbed Lard Winner and awarded a pink pig baseball cap which I was forced to wear in a ritual uncannily like hazing. Damn my competitive streak! But my stomach is still holding up pretty well. Oh yeah!
The stomach thing started in New York this Saturday. New York was fun, minus the moderate illness. I stayed at Jonah's and hated on things with him. My stomach actually kept me from going out on Saturday night, but Jonah assured me I would have hated the bar they went to - long line and full of hipsters. Yeah, doesn't sound like my scene. It was also good to see Klassy, Kate, Allie, Jenks, Naomi, and Lorand. Lots of college people who have scattered across the country.
On Saturday we went to Coney Island. It was one of the trashiest yet most entertaining places I have ever been. It was also approximately 100 degrees. Probably didn't help my stomach. But I did ride the Cyclone, the world's oldest roller coaster, which happens to be made of wood. It's like playing a really prolonged game of Russian Roulette. The clacking of the cars across the wooden planks is a scary noise. Anything can happen on a 90 year-old roller coaster. I also ate at the original Nathan's Hot Dogs. Throw in sitting on the beach while everyone else swims and Jonah and I gripe about sand and you have a lovely, if sun-burn-y, day at Coney Island.
I am reading Game of Thrones. It is unfortunately addictive. I'm not saying it haunts my dreams, but I have had dreams about it. I gotta stop reading it before bed. That time should be reserved for How I Met Your Mother.
As I said to Reza today, if saving the world paid the same as destroying it, no one would destroy it.
Speaking of destroying the world, the debt ceiling crap is ridiculous and I have lost interest. And I like politics. This is absolutely disgusting. Everyone pull it together. Lock it up!
Ludacris,
I can go two and a half feet low. That is how low I can go.
Keep asking insightful questions,
Will
I think I have an interview for a fall internship next Friday. Here's hoping! It should be exciting. Turns out that sometimes answering Unknown numbers on your cell phone while at work is a good idea!
The stomach thing started in New York this Saturday. New York was fun, minus the moderate illness. I stayed at Jonah's and hated on things with him. My stomach actually kept me from going out on Saturday night, but Jonah assured me I would have hated the bar they went to - long line and full of hipsters. Yeah, doesn't sound like my scene. It was also good to see Klassy, Kate, Allie, Jenks, Naomi, and Lorand. Lots of college people who have scattered across the country.
On Saturday we went to Coney Island. It was one of the trashiest yet most entertaining places I have ever been. It was also approximately 100 degrees. Probably didn't help my stomach. But I did ride the Cyclone, the world's oldest roller coaster, which happens to be made of wood. It's like playing a really prolonged game of Russian Roulette. The clacking of the cars across the wooden planks is a scary noise. Anything can happen on a 90 year-old roller coaster. I also ate at the original Nathan's Hot Dogs. Throw in sitting on the beach while everyone else swims and Jonah and I gripe about sand and you have a lovely, if sun-burn-y, day at Coney Island.
I am reading Game of Thrones. It is unfortunately addictive. I'm not saying it haunts my dreams, but I have had dreams about it. I gotta stop reading it before bed. That time should be reserved for How I Met Your Mother.
As I said to Reza today, if saving the world paid the same as destroying it, no one would destroy it.
Speaking of destroying the world, the debt ceiling crap is ridiculous and I have lost interest. And I like politics. This is absolutely disgusting. Everyone pull it together. Lock it up!
Ludacris,
I can go two and a half feet low. That is how low I can go.
Keep asking insightful questions,
Will
I think I have an interview for a fall internship next Friday. Here's hoping! It should be exciting. Turns out that sometimes answering Unknown numbers on your cell phone while at work is a good idea!
Monday, July 18, 2011
Update on Bottle Service
As it turns out, the summer from Chicago who plopped down his credit card, certain it would be reimbursed, will not be repaid for the bottle service he ordered. Told you it was unnecessary. For his status grab, he will take a nice $750 hit on his credit card. That's what being overly ambitious gets you. I feel bad on one level, but I think it serves him right on another. Not necessary and impressing no one.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Chi-Town
I just got back from my trip to Chicago. What's that firm? You want to fly all of the summers nationwide into Chicago for a retreat? No, I have no problem with a free trip to Chicago. So all 31 summers from all offices got to meet each other and get put up in a nice hotel. Wednesday night all of the summers had a cooking competition. Basically we divided into four teams, each under the supervision of a professional chef, and cooked three dishes. My veal marsala was pretty darn good, but ultimately my team did not win. I think it's because we didn't put bacon in. Should have stuck to that plan. The event was surprisingly fun between the good food, beer, and collegial atmosphere. Afterwards all of the summers headed out to a bar together. The recruiting staff was emphatic about taking all our name tags off before we went out (so the firm doesn't get blamed if we do something stupid). My own name tag was practically ripped off my shirt. Without the comfort of name tags, we all headed out to a bar. Some genius in the Chicago office must have suggested this swanky rooftop bar since that's where we ended up. With bottle service (???). Totally unnecessary. It was apparently justified as the most efficient way to get drinks for 30 people. Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. What a stupid waste of money. What an unnecessary status symbol. Why did we need two bottles of vodka for an insane amount of money? We could have filled a hotel room with 30 racks for the same cost. Now there's an efficient way for 30 people to get drinks. So...yeah, I was slightly uncomfortable with getting bottle service. After that bar, a few of us went to a second for a beer before heading back to the hotel for not enough sleep.
The next day consisted of meetings with firm management and a mock negotiation session. I'll call that the "business portion" of the trip. It lasted about 8 hours. For about 4 of those hours I was wondering whether there was any amount of caffeine that would make me feel entirely awake. I think the answer was no - but the early evening nap helped.
For the evening all of the summers headed to a reception at a partner's house. It was nice enough. Excellent cupcakes. The partner had claimed she was cooking for all of us, yet there was a catering staff preparing all of the food. Questionable. Maybe "cooking" means "writing a check." Like the Brits call an elevator a lift. But that's not the fun part.
The fun part was trekking out to the bars in Wriggleyville. We started with 30 summer associates and a handful of associates and partners from the Chicago office. Expense account. Woo! Cue beers, whiskey shots, car bombs, etc. Soon there was an exodus (Bob Marley style) and there were about ten summer associates left, including all five from the DC office and five few from other assorted offices. The ten of us headed to a second bar that provided us with jello shots and more beers. Soon our number dwindled to seven - all five from DC, and one each from New York and Silicon Valley. Pause for a moment. Out of 31 summers total, only 7 survived the second bar, but the entire DC office was still out. Bomb! I think we know what the coolest office is. Unpause. Our second bar was closing a little before 2. Nick, who is from Chicago, goes "Hey guys, I think I know a bar that's open until 4. Let's go!" So the seven of us head out at 2 am to our third bar of the night. I do not remember the name of this bar, but it was surprisingly packed and not one person in it was anywhere approaching sober. Don't you all have jobs? This is 2 am on a Thursday night, what's your master plan for tomorrow? No time to contemplate such things, more beers!
By 3 am, the seven of us (all five from DC, oh yeah! What good bonding!) were pretty hungry. We wandered down the street (the wrong way at first, quite surprisingly) to find pizza. We got to a pizza place that was closing down. "How many slices do you have left?" "Only three." "We'll take all of them." "Um, alright. I guess I'll give you a discount...they are pretty cold." Fine, bring on the discount, that pizza was fantastic, but not enough. Chris wanted to buy a cookie, but freaked out in a fit of profanity upon hearing that it was a $3 cookie. I bought it for him anyways, but he brooded for about five minutes about the three dollar cookie. After the three slices of pizza and the three dollar cookie, we still wanted more to eat. There was a couple in the corner with two intact slices of pizza and we all stared like hyenas. Eventually the couple left, and just threw out the two slices. What? I'm not proud, but I was very close to picking one out of the top of the trash can (what??? it didn't touch anything except the plate it was already on!). Calm down, I didn't do it. Instead, we took cabs back to the hotel and found a 24 hour Dunkin Donuts down the block. I bet you are expecting the ending that we ate donuts until we were content. You'd be wrong if you expected that. It was closed. When does a 24 hour Dunkin Donuts close?? 3:30 am apparently. I have never been so disappointed in a Dunkin Donuts. And that includes the time that Nakul got food poisoning from bad Dunkin Donuts cream cheese. Hungry, the seven of us (five from DC) went to bed, ending an epic night of summer associate bonding...but only for the bold.
The next day I met up with Matt Hope. We went to the Pitchfork Music Festival with Leor and Amy. I didn't know any bands that were playing beforehand, but I liked Das Racist and Battles from what I saw of them. I did not like Animal Collective, to put it mildly. In my opinion they could not have played a more boring set with less rhythm, melody, or energy. It just pissed me off. But it was a good day nonetheless. Even if it was filled with hipsters. And I do mean filled.
Saturday, Matt and I walked around the Loop. We watched some street performers, including acrobats who were vaguely racist and ended up getting a ticket from the police (for being loud and drawing too large a crowd, not for being vaguely racist). Another highlight was walking into a Banana Republic and hearing two guys leaving the store saying, "Wow, we made out in there." I burst out laughing. I knew what they meant, but it was just hilarious. That night we went to a nice dinner, saw a great improv show at IO, met up with Amy at a bar, and saw a midnight sketch show. Mmmm, I missed good comedy. And Matt Hope. It was great to get to hang out with him. And to get him out of lab.
Now I am back in DC. And boy do I need some down time.
The next day consisted of meetings with firm management and a mock negotiation session. I'll call that the "business portion" of the trip. It lasted about 8 hours. For about 4 of those hours I was wondering whether there was any amount of caffeine that would make me feel entirely awake. I think the answer was no - but the early evening nap helped.
For the evening all of the summers headed to a reception at a partner's house. It was nice enough. Excellent cupcakes. The partner had claimed she was cooking for all of us, yet there was a catering staff preparing all of the food. Questionable. Maybe "cooking" means "writing a check." Like the Brits call an elevator a lift. But that's not the fun part.
The fun part was trekking out to the bars in Wriggleyville. We started with 30 summer associates and a handful of associates and partners from the Chicago office. Expense account. Woo! Cue beers, whiskey shots, car bombs, etc. Soon there was an exodus (Bob Marley style) and there were about ten summer associates left, including all five from the DC office and five few from other assorted offices. The ten of us headed to a second bar that provided us with jello shots and more beers. Soon our number dwindled to seven - all five from DC, and one each from New York and Silicon Valley. Pause for a moment. Out of 31 summers total, only 7 survived the second bar, but the entire DC office was still out. Bomb! I think we know what the coolest office is. Unpause. Our second bar was closing a little before 2. Nick, who is from Chicago, goes "Hey guys, I think I know a bar that's open until 4. Let's go!" So the seven of us head out at 2 am to our third bar of the night. I do not remember the name of this bar, but it was surprisingly packed and not one person in it was anywhere approaching sober. Don't you all have jobs? This is 2 am on a Thursday night, what's your master plan for tomorrow? No time to contemplate such things, more beers!
By 3 am, the seven of us (all five from DC, oh yeah! What good bonding!) were pretty hungry. We wandered down the street (the wrong way at first, quite surprisingly) to find pizza. We got to a pizza place that was closing down. "How many slices do you have left?" "Only three." "We'll take all of them." "Um, alright. I guess I'll give you a discount...they are pretty cold." Fine, bring on the discount, that pizza was fantastic, but not enough. Chris wanted to buy a cookie, but freaked out in a fit of profanity upon hearing that it was a $3 cookie. I bought it for him anyways, but he brooded for about five minutes about the three dollar cookie. After the three slices of pizza and the three dollar cookie, we still wanted more to eat. There was a couple in the corner with two intact slices of pizza and we all stared like hyenas. Eventually the couple left, and just threw out the two slices. What? I'm not proud, but I was very close to picking one out of the top of the trash can (what??? it didn't touch anything except the plate it was already on!). Calm down, I didn't do it. Instead, we took cabs back to the hotel and found a 24 hour Dunkin Donuts down the block. I bet you are expecting the ending that we ate donuts until we were content. You'd be wrong if you expected that. It was closed. When does a 24 hour Dunkin Donuts close?? 3:30 am apparently. I have never been so disappointed in a Dunkin Donuts. And that includes the time that Nakul got food poisoning from bad Dunkin Donuts cream cheese. Hungry, the seven of us (five from DC) went to bed, ending an epic night of summer associate bonding...but only for the bold.
The next day I met up with Matt Hope. We went to the Pitchfork Music Festival with Leor and Amy. I didn't know any bands that were playing beforehand, but I liked Das Racist and Battles from what I saw of them. I did not like Animal Collective, to put it mildly. In my opinion they could not have played a more boring set with less rhythm, melody, or energy. It just pissed me off. But it was a good day nonetheless. Even if it was filled with hipsters. And I do mean filled.
Saturday, Matt and I walked around the Loop. We watched some street performers, including acrobats who were vaguely racist and ended up getting a ticket from the police (for being loud and drawing too large a crowd, not for being vaguely racist). Another highlight was walking into a Banana Republic and hearing two guys leaving the store saying, "Wow, we made out in there." I burst out laughing. I knew what they meant, but it was just hilarious. That night we went to a nice dinner, saw a great improv show at IO, met up with Amy at a bar, and saw a midnight sketch show. Mmmm, I missed good comedy. And Matt Hope. It was great to get to hang out with him. And to get him out of lab.
Now I am back in DC. And boy do I need some down time.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Unscripted
Today the summers all went to the Federal Circuit to watch oral arguments. An attorney from our firm was arguing in the last case, so that was cool to see, but I wish that the panel had grilled him a little harder on some points in his arguments. But the real highlight of the day was the two awful attorneys who argued in different cases. The first one was some dude, maybe 80 years old. I wasn't sure if he would answer the judges' questions or have a stroke: either seemed an equally likely possibility. It was almost impossible to understand him and he didn't really respond to the judges' questions. Note to self: don't send senile attorneys to court. The second was probably worse. She was a government attorney and had what was clearly the winning side of an argument. But she was also very new - this may have been her first oral argument. As such, she pretty much just read off of a script and was asked maybe one question. After she was done and the case was submitted, one of the judges leaned over at her and said: "Let me give you a piece of advice for next time: don't read your argument." It was absolutely devastating. When the case was all over she walked out of the court looking about to cry. Hey judge, this is a real case with real interests on the line, not a moot court competition. I understand that he was trying to be nice, but that is insanely cruel. There were also about a dozen better ways to say that to her, and he could not come up with one. Ouch.
At a point in his argument, another attorney stated, "I may not be the sharpest lawyer in this room, but I think it's pretty clear..." To which a judge responded, "Humility is nice, but don't sell yourself short." Definitely never seen that before.
Then we went to lunch with the partner who argued in court today. Due to a lack of reservations and creativity by the waitstaff, we had two separate tables of four rather than one of eight. I did not get to sit with the partner, which I wanted to do to ask him about his appellate practice and question him on some of the weaker points of today's argument (yeah, I'm a nerd). It was lucky, as it turned out, that I was not at that table. Apparently the conversation turned to politics, and I am not (politely) of the same mind on many matters as the partner. This, combined with me having a hard time keeping my mouth shut, would have brought about potentially disastrous consequences. Better that I eat my salad and shut up.
Since I couldn't say do it at lunch, I will now. Republicans (read while shaking your fist in the air).
You know you are in Washington when: you have had a serious conversation with your friend about the merits of raising the debt ceiling at a bar.
You know you are in Washington when: wearing a suit jacket is the best and worst decision of the day. Worst when you are walking outside, best when your teeth are chattering from the air conditioning.
At a point in his argument, another attorney stated, "I may not be the sharpest lawyer in this room, but I think it's pretty clear..." To which a judge responded, "Humility is nice, but don't sell yourself short." Definitely never seen that before.
Then we went to lunch with the partner who argued in court today. Due to a lack of reservations and creativity by the waitstaff, we had two separate tables of four rather than one of eight. I did not get to sit with the partner, which I wanted to do to ask him about his appellate practice and question him on some of the weaker points of today's argument (yeah, I'm a nerd). It was lucky, as it turned out, that I was not at that table. Apparently the conversation turned to politics, and I am not (politely) of the same mind on many matters as the partner. This, combined with me having a hard time keeping my mouth shut, would have brought about potentially disastrous consequences. Better that I eat my salad and shut up.
Since I couldn't say do it at lunch, I will now. Republicans (read while shaking your fist in the air).
You know you are in Washington when: you have had a serious conversation with your friend about the merits of raising the debt ceiling at a bar.
You know you are in Washington when: wearing a suit jacket is the best and worst decision of the day. Worst when you are walking outside, best when your teeth are chattering from the air conditioning.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
A Lot Has Happened
Since posting last, I burned my finger on an iron trying to wrap the cord around it while still hot. I also mused to myself that "War Pigs" by Black Sabbath is in some ways quite similar to Bob Dylan's "Masters of War." I purchased my first Living Social deal (though this blog neither endorses nor shuns Living Social). Finally, I heard the worst song in the world: 100 Years by Five For Fighting. Someone shoot me now. No, just disconnect the CVS sound system.
A Tough Choice
Sunday afternoon Shaked and I were walking back from Georgetown when it looked like it was going to rain and rain bad. We power walked and made it about a block and a half away from my building when the sky just opened up. Drenching rain, getting blown around. We took cover under the overhang of a Chinese food restaurant with an older couple who turned out to be from Boston. We were having a nice conversation about Boston, waiting the rain out, when I saw a cockroach. Then two. Then three. All four of us simultaneously look down at the sewer grate we are standing next to and see roaches pouring out of it. A dozen or so big ones. The kind that might be able to take you in a fight. The woman just bolted without a word to her husband, who looked at us and said "I guess that's it," and followed his wife. I stupidly was about to say to Shaked that it wasn't that bad when I felt something crawling up my right ankle. Well, I did exactly what you would have done when faced with a choice between rain and roaches; I shook off the roach, screamed like a woman, and sprinted the block and a half home in the pouring rain. I beat Shaked, who was absolutely horrified, back to my building. It was the closest my life has ever been to a Goosebumps book.
I hope everyone had a good Independence Day and that no aliens attacked (only roaches?). I pretty much spent it writing cover letters for fall internships and watching fireworks from a friend's roof. On that note, if anyone happens to be bff with a congressman and wants to hook me up with an internship, I'd be fine with that. I wouldn't even complain.
Oh, right! I also had Shake Shack! It shook my shack. Then I had Qdoba because Shaked bought a salad and they were having a buy one, get one free promotion. Then I felt sick. Then I ate cake. Then I felt better.
Speaking of feeling sick, I had Pepto Bismol for the first time last week, I don't mind telling you. And it really worked! My stomach felt better in no time (well...some time). Good enough to drink Sam Adams at the bar down the street (which I may have been to three days in a row this weekend...by Sunday the bouncer didn't even card me because he knew I'd been there before. Oops? Or is this a good thing? Local bar, woo!)
I hope everyone had a good Independence Day and that no aliens attacked (only roaches?). I pretty much spent it writing cover letters for fall internships and watching fireworks from a friend's roof. On that note, if anyone happens to be bff with a congressman and wants to hook me up with an internship, I'd be fine with that. I wouldn't even complain.
Oh, right! I also had Shake Shack! It shook my shack. Then I had Qdoba because Shaked bought a salad and they were having a buy one, get one free promotion. Then I felt sick. Then I ate cake. Then I felt better.
Speaking of feeling sick, I had Pepto Bismol for the first time last week, I don't mind telling you. And it really worked! My stomach felt better in no time (well...some time). Good enough to drink Sam Adams at the bar down the street (which I may have been to three days in a row this weekend...by Sunday the bouncer didn't even card me because he knew I'd been there before. Oops? Or is this a good thing? Local bar, woo!)
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