Crickets

I would like you to play a game of cricket against me. You don't know the rules? Don't worry about it. You have a bat and a ball. Let's play. Oh, you are super bad at cricket and just about everything you did was wrong. What a surprise! Now that we've played, I'll explain to you what the rules are and what you did wrong and why you suck.

I don't know shit about playing cricket. I know it's the retarded cousin of baseball that you are supposed to play wile wearing a sweatervest, but that's it. That's about how much I know about legal writing. But that didn't stop the curriculum of my Legal Research and Writing class from forcing me to write a legal analysis over the weekend. I did it with no good instructions. That is to say the only instructions I have are from a poorly written and even worse edited book on legal writing that could put an OCD speed freak to sleep. Whenever I open the book my eyes glaze over and my brain digs a a moat around it to prevent any information from getting in. With that fantastic resource I was more than ready to write my legal analysis. Of course today, the day it is due, we discussed how to write a legal analysis in class. Thanks. That's really helpful. Now I know what I was supposed to do and that I did everything wrong. Way to boost the ol' self esteem. But, not to be deterred, I have received another assignment: a specific type of legal memo that we, once again, have not been instructed how to create by any comprehensible source. I'm ready, let's play some cricket.

A girl in my class is going to run for section senator. I have no idea of what kind of budget is at the disposal of whatever governing committee she would sit on if she wins, so I naturally wanted to be her campaign manager. I advised her that she should start making campaign promises. She will dedicate a refrigerator solely to our section so that we have adequate room to keep our lunches in them. She will also build Jurassic Park outside in the university quad. Like I said, I have no idea of the budget. It's a bunch of lawyers running the show, so I assume they are rich. Perhaps that is unreasonable of me. She declined my offer to run her campaign.

Apparently there are a lot of Red Sox haters here. I have had to defend my team, and my city, on at least three separate occasions since moving to DC. Once was against a Chicago White Sox fan. Really? The White Sox now have beef with Boston? That's just dumb, they aren't even in our division. They have no one to blame but themselves for their own gross incompetence at running a baseball team. Don't try to infringe on the best rivalry in sports, White Sox. Stay in Chicago and cry into your soup.