Thursday, July 29, 2010

No Money, Mo' Problems

Today was the first day I can remember where I spent literally no money. I didn't have time during the work day to take my usual break to Dunkin Donuts in the morning. Or the afternoon. I didn't go out for dinner. I didn't buy something crazy online, or see a movie, or go out for a drink. Nothing. I need to start having more days like this. Or surrender all my worldly possessions and head out on my own into nature, Siddhartha-style. That sounds terrible, though I wouldn't have to worry about spending money. These days Siddhartha would be mistaken for just some other crazy homeless guy. And you know what, I'm not sure that the people mistaking him would be entirely incorrect.

There was a story on abovethelaw.com about all the summer associates at Akin Gump (a big law firm, for those of you who are lucky enough not to have just gone through OCI or just don't know) icing a bunch of full-time associates (actual lawyers). If you don't know what icing is yet, you might be better off. Though it is a wholly amusing idea. But summer associates getting ballsy enough to ice people who hold future job opportunities in their hands? That takes true bro-ish courage. My pre-ripped American Eagle baseball cap is off to them. Apparently all the summers called a meeting with the associates under the cover of saying they were unhappy with the way work was going. The summers all had matching "Ice Storm" (or something) t-shirts and iced all the associates. Coming up next: none of these summers get offers.

I know that this is a bit condescending, but as (if) you read this (which you are clearly under no obligation to do, in fact I'm not sure I recommend) please remember that I did not actually do anything, even though I would have liked to. The woman running trivia last night pronounced some things in ways which...were incorrect (read: pissed me off, made me consider correcting her to her face, and certainly prompted me to have small fits of rage in my seat). I'll try to type what she said phonetically. First, in answering a question about houses at Hogwarts, she pronounced two of the houses Sly-therin (as in sly, like a fox), and Gry-findor (again, with the 'y' sound rather than sounding like an 'i'). Come on, Harry Potter references have permeated the culture pretty deeply. I don't think it is unheard of to be able to pronounce those names correctly.
Then she asked the question: "The Cure's first hit song, 'Killing an Arab' is based on what novella by Albert Camus" - pronounced "Cam-Us." Wowza. That's pretty atrocious. And I haven't even read "The Stranger." To reiterate, I understand that it is condescending to want to correct her. But she has to learn some time! Arggggg. So bad. It's not nice of me, I know. But I want to help her learn!
Anyways, none of this is as bad as "subsequently." Or sub-see-quently, depending on who you are talking to.

I spent a good 3 hours today searching for an attorney to ask him a question about whether we were proceeding with a case or not. A question which he asked me to ask him earlier in the day. Then poof, he disappeared for the entire afternoon. Frustration. Or magic attorney, you decide.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Back to Reality

The Epic Chili Spill occurred Saturday night at Nakul's. We were watching tv for a while, waiting for the chili Nak made to be perfectly ready. Eventually we got hungry enough to venture into the chili. I was super exciting because I had been contemplating eating for the past hour or so. Nakul finally gave the go-ahead, and we put the chili into bowls. Nakul offered me cheese, and I took a slice out. I noticed it had some mold on it, so I threw it out and took another slice. Also mold. Trash. Another slice had minimal mold. I spent a good minute cutting off the mold until the slice of cheese was sufficiently clear for eating purposes. I crumbled it up and put it on my chili, and I was finally ready to take my chili off to the table to eat it when...the combination of the cheese on my fingers and the heat of the bowl resulted in some slippage. And chili went everywhere. I mean everywhere. It went under the table, on the chair, on the table, on the counter, on my clothes, everywhere. I, apparently, let out a string of profanity and dejectedly cleaned up the chili to the best of my ability. I am not feeling so optimistic about getting the chili out of the chair cushion. And I am only hoping that it comes out of my jeans. But this chili spill was epic. It messed up the floor, burnt my arm, and destroyed my dreams all at once.

Road soda - funny name for a not a particularly good idea.

Mostly at Ron's behest, I watched the first two episodes of Man Men this weekend. Maybe it was in honor of the 4th season's premier tonight. In which Don Draper murders twelve men. Just kidding; I have no idea what happens. But Dumbledore dies. Anyways, I'm not sold on it yet. I know a lot of people are all about it, but so far it just doesn't seem like the kind of show to be all about. I'll give it a few more episodes to give it a fair shot. One thing I can't help but think as I watch the show is that I am really glad that prop cigarettes were invented, otherwise the entire cast would have advanced lung cancer.

Very few people know the band "The Band" at least by name. Then people think I'm an idiot. "Do you know the band?" "Which band?" "The band." Not the most helpful.

Work tomorrow should be fun. I get to edit and submit for review my 17 page section of a brief. It's been pretty fun to write, actually. I'm super stoked to get it cut down to 3-5 pages (at least I wouldn't be surprised). In layman's terms all it says is "Stop screwing people. You don't get to make money from doing that. Just stop." Advocacy at its finest.

The movie "Cyrus" was pretty good. Contrary to what some people believe (Erica), it has nothing to do with Miley Cyrus, nor Billy Ray Cyrus. It's a comedy/drama. It is a pretty simple movie, with only 5 characters. It was a nice change from the rest of the summer blockbusters that are going out right now. I mean, it's probably not "Grown Ups" but what is? (Note: I have not seen Grown Ups, though I wouldn't be surprised if it were actually more amusing than it should be. If anyone has more information, please contact me. A reward will be posted.)

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Overheard at 1:30 in the afternoon

I don't have time for a full post, but easily the most amusing thing that happened to me today was this:

At 1:30 pm I was walking to CVS to get a Diet Coke on my lunch break, like ya do. It's Government Center. Everyone is wearing a tie. Immediately after I cross the street I see two guys who look like dirty (/dirtier) hipsters. As I walk by them one of them asks the guy (wearing a tie) next to me, "Hey man, do you know anywhere around here that sells 40's?" "What? No!" responds the guy, more than a little shocked. Dirty guys, it's 1:30 in the afternoon and you are in one of the nicest parts of Boston. Why are you looking for 40's? Reexamine your priorities, maybe get off of whatever drugs you are on.

And now back to having NO TIME.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Don't Call It A Comeback

I think I am going insane. I use my phone's alarm to wake me up every morning before work. This morning I woke up to the alarm sound, but I didn't set an alarm. And sometimes when I sit in bed (read: at the moment) I hear the alarm, even though I can see my phone and I am well aware that the alarm is not going off. What is going on here? It's quite annoying and disturbs my peaceful slumber. Which is why I am awake and writing this.

I am also writing this because it is much more fun than writing cover letters. Cover letters are still my enemy. "Please hire me! I'll be your best friend" is about where I am with them. If only that worked.

Having a prolonged period of time where you have nothing to amuse yourself with besides your cell phone can be dangerous. You start sending ridiculous text messages. Yesterday morning I was waiting before the hearing got started and sent something along the lines of "If you give a moose a muffin or a mouse a cookie then you are interacting oddly with undomesticated animals." While I maintain that is a true statement, it is also an entirely unnecessary one.

Speaking of hearings, I really enjoy going to them, particularly when I (kinda) understand what is happening. I like the "sick burn!" moment when an attorney drops a bomb on the witness. Inevitably the witness struggles out of the straight jacket they have been put into with some song and dance, but I like watching them squirm (and I don't want to say perjure, but...saying you believe facts to be one way which conveniently helps you get out of the rough spot you are in, without having actual knowledge or hard data available for everyone to examine).
In order to get a decent grasp of what some witnesses are talking about I am learning a lot about engineering, economics, and accounting. Last week I was all over capital structures and cost of equity/cost of debt. I still know approximately 5% of what that crap is, but now I could probably hold my own during dinner party conversation. Not that I'd want to attend a dinner party where the topic of conversation is capital structures.

Monday, July 12, 2010

"Tour"

Today I had a lot of work to do at work. Which might help explain why they call it work. But I have a pretty pressing memo to write and it's on a pretty complicated topic (since I don't have an MBA), so research took a while. That research had to be put on hold for a (pretty mandatory) "tour" of the John Adams Courthouse. The "tour" started out with a 35 minute tour of the building with a tour guide talking about the building and showing us around. That part of it was pretty cool, it's a beautiful building. Then we sat at the SJC (cool place, also literally, I was freezing...and I had to pee) while two appellate judges talked to us and answered questions for an hour and a half. And by talked to us and answered questions, I, of course, mean talked about how cool they were and dispensed advice in a semi-pompous manner. Granted they are judges, which is pretty cool, but we know that you are good lawyers, we don't need you to reinforce how awesome you are for an hour and a half. That part got pretty annoying. I also don't appreciate having the Massachusetts court system explained to me twice in one tour. It was a tour for legal interns - we are in law school, I certainly hope we understand that it goes trial courts, appellate courts, supreme court. That's called underestimating your audience.

Today it rained sideways! And the other intern in my division checked the weather online, which said it was still sunny out.

This weekend included a 21st birthday (Karishma's, who demanded pizza, despite having some in her hand already), a Harpoon brewery tour (saw 30,000 cases of beer in the same place), and Battle of the Sexes (men clearly won, and three of us-Me, Chris, and Ryan-were very barely able to name all four main characters on Sex and the City as our crowning achievement).

Writing cover letters has not changed. It still sucks. It is apparently not an acquired taste.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Actively Bad

To say a sad farewell to Yael, a few people (I think many of them read this, maybe they'd like to be mentioned? Braver, Dan, Yael, Nathaniel, Ron, and Shaked) met up for dessert at Athans, a bakery/cafe in Brookline. Do not go there! Somewhere in between discussions of arm hair, head hair, and nameless biblical characters we ordered dessert. You'd expect dessert to be good when you are at a place that serves it exclusively and charges an exorbitant amount for it. But it wasn't. I ordered a framboise cake. Upon taking a first bite I noticed it was dry. The second bite confirmed this, and also informed me that what little flavor was to be found was terrible. Not "It wasn't good," but, as I put it at the time, "Actively bad." I was just going to leave it alone, but after some badgering/encouragement (depending on who you are asking) I asked the guy at the counter who had served me if I could exchange it for something else:
Him: Is there a problem?
Me: This isn't good. Like, it's...pretty bad.
Him: Ok.
Me: Do you think I could exchange it for something else?
Him: Ok.
Me: Are the eclairs cold?
Him: They are all cold. The case is a refrigerator.
Me: (mostly to myself) That cake wasn't cold...
He had a European accent and was snooty. Maybe re-read that conversation with that fact in mind. I'm waaaay too lazy to edit what has already happened in the post. Anyway, the eclair was decent, though still probably sub-par, particularly for $5. And it wasn't all that cold either. Moral of the story: don't go there, you will be disappointed (if you are me at least).

I was told in no uncertain terms by the Dean of Financial Aid that there was nothing she could do for me. I specifically asked whether there was any argument, no matter how persuasive, that I could make to her that would change anything. She said no. Well I feel good about my law school and their attention to my needs. Tomorrow I'll try a different administrator. Then Friday perhaps another. It'll be a fun getting-snubbed-by-administrators party. (Note: not a good theme for an actual party; much better would be reasons that America is awesome. Or 90's.)

"Hey, Soul Sister" by Train: overplayed yet wholesome. Something on which everyone can agree, then agree they have heard too many times.
Also, welcome back from from the 90's, Train. How was that decade where you didn't do anything?

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Highway Robbery

Tomorrow I am going to have words with my school's financial aid office. They hooked me, got me nice and in debt, and now cut my grant while increasing the overall cost of attendance.

Meanwhile the girl who asked whether there had to be a war for Congress to use the war power and a treaty to use the treaty power has a full ride. As does the guy who asked me on three separate occasions if he could copy my Con Law outline. Clearly a meritocracy. Great.

On the plus side I did get to watch an attorney question a witness using questions that I helped prepare. That was neat. More of it will come tomorrow. Though getting to see the hearing also entails wearing a suit in this weather.

Monday, July 5, 2010

4th and More

The Fourth was largely traditional - cookout, reading the Declaration of Independence (sometimes in assorted voices), and heading into Cambridge for fireworks on the Charles. I ate too much, got angry at strangers for standing on our blanket, and watched a girl run off the T to vomit. What more could you want from our nation's birthday? Back to the getting angry at strangers part, this guy randomly stood on our blanket during the fireworks and kept shouting "woo" in appreciation of the fireworks right in my ear. Why are you shouting woo in my ear? The pyrotechnicians can't hear you. Are you impressed by the fireworks? I've got news for you, so is everyone else. Now please leave my vicinity and stop shouting. On a positive note, the fireworks were actually really good this year.

A few days ago I went out to eat around Fanueil Hall. Every single bar/restaurant is the same. On the same corner there are three Irish pubs, all with names like McFaddens (that's one, not to be confused with the McFaddens in DC - where you go to see underage college kids try too hard), all with the same menu items, and even all with the same color and font on their menus. There was literally no point in trying to decide between them. So I just left because the area smelled bad on account of the horse-drawn carriage rides that were taking place. Then, walking through Fanueil Hall, there were three live bands playing (terribly). One male vocalist was taking on "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga and another band did a truly awful rendition of "Devil Went Down to Georgia." The third was the best, sticking to some crappy 80's song which required no talent to perform in the first place, so covering it wasn't too difficult. Then onto the other strip of bars that also had the exact same menu items, Irish theme, and selection of poor cover bands which would begin playing after 9 or so. At least not all of these ones had the same colored menu. Ah Boston Irish, I love it.

In the Lady Gaga song "Alejandro" she takes a really long pause after she says "She's got both hands..." which often makes me consider the alternatives - having one or no hands. That would suck.

A note to the birds: you need to stop diving right in front of my car while I am driving. You can fly; fly high to the other side of the street. There is absolutely no need to constantly risk the kind of peril you place yourself in by flying three feet off the ground in front of a moving vehicle. You also make me very nervous.
I don't think I've hit a bird yet, but I'm waiting for it to happen any day now. I'm also just waiting for a bird to dive smack into the windows of my car.

Today: day off of work. Tomorrow: watching a witness get embarrassed at a hearing for not telling the entire truth. When someone says that investment increased constantly and substantially each year, you'd expect the investments to go up each year, wouldn't you? Well let's watch him explain his choice of words when faced with the information which he provided that investments, in fact, went down for a number of years. This should be funsies.

"I drive a Dodge Stratus! I can do twenty pushups in one minute!" This SNL quote got me in trouble and sparked a moderately intoxicated pushup competition between Chris and me. But we can both do more than twenty in one minute, so everyone's a winner!

The New Hampshire state liquor store is a phenomenal location. What a bargain! That's a price that can't be beat!