Dopplegangster

I just cooked bluefish for the first time. Come to think of it, I think it was the first time I can remember eating bluefish. I kind of thought it would taste like blueberries. That was clearly a dumb thought, they taste like fish. Next time I cook bluefish I am going to try to devise a way to get them to taste like blueberries. Maybe marinade them in blueberry jam and garnish them with Berry-Berry Kix. Kid tested, mother approved.

After two days of searching I bought a suit yesterday - with a little help picking it out from Shaked. It's navy blue, two buttons, and smells like fresh morning dew on a brilliant summer morning. This is why I don't write fiction. I got it from a store called Miltons, but I also looked at Macys. What an unhelpful experience. The first day at Macys we got there a little less than 30 minutes before closing time on Sunday of a three day weekend. No salesperson even looked at us. Right before closing, I get it you don't want some crazy customer making all sorts of demands on you, keeping you at work late, or further ruining your already terrible day. The next morning, however, I expected service! I was disappointed. After mulling around the suit racks for fifteen minutes without so much as a glance from a salesperson (mostly because the salespeople were largely absent and apparently uninterested in selling clothes, being helpful, or generally doing their job) I tried a suit on. On the way back from the dressing room we had succeeded in flagging down a saleswoman who did not work in the suiting department. She found a woman who did work in the suiting department and pointed her to me as I held a Calvin Klein suit that didn't fit quite right.
Her: "Yes?"
Me: "I'm looking at suits."
Her: "Ok."
Me: "...ummm yeah, suits, I was wondering...."
Her: "Ok, we have suits." Noticing the suit in my arms. "Do you want to try that on?"
Me: "I just did."
Her: "Ok."
Me: "...It didn't fit exactly right. Do you do alterations?"
Her: "Oh, no we don't do alterations here."
Me: "Alright then. I think we're done here. Would you take this back for me?"
Way to be helpful lady. She could not have been less enthused or less knowledgeable. Do you want a commission or not? Apparently not. Later on the first saleswoman who had found the unhelpful lady apologized profusely to me and asked if I had found everything I had been looking for. I told her I was pretty done with the suiting department at Macys. Immediately after Macys I went into Miltons and within literally ten seconds of walking through the door I was asked if I needed any help. Stark difference. Macys suiting department, you get low marks and have now been placed in the doghouse.

There is a book out there called "Dopplegangster." It is trashy fiction and if it cost six dollars less than its sales price of seven dollars I would have bought it. I gathered from the back cover that a former-actress/current-stripper and her magician friend must save New York from a mob war that somehow includes dopplegangers. Also, an attractive and likely Hispanic man named Lopez is involved. How could you go wrong with this book? Once I'm done reading "Tender Is The Night" I might have to look into "Dopplegangster" - they are probably close to the same level of literary greatness.