Beginning of the End

So here I am on the verge of a new semester. The next semester. The last semester I will ever have to deal with. Presumably. Who knows, maybe I'll go back and get a Ph.D in philosophy and ride out my days as a college professor. Regardless, tomorrow my last semester of law school begins. How do I feel? I want to click my heels together at the thought of ending this nightmare of a school. But mostly I don't want to go back to class.
My classes are: Antitrust Seminar, Trusts and Estates, Computer Crime, and Separation of Powers. No class before 11, no class on Fridays. It's sort of like a college schedule. And I get to pass/fail one of the classes. Woo! All my professors are supposed to be good, so I am...hopeful? As hopeful as I can be after having done my first reading assignment in a month. It wasn't great. My brain sort of forgot how to read anything that isn't the New York Times or a Game of Thrones sequel.

I am starting classes tomorrow, and still only have two out of my four grades back from last semester. I find that pretty disrespectful. My last assignment for Public Interest Lawyering was due at the beginning of December. There were two professors and only twelve students in that class. And they still can't give me a damn grade?! I'm sure grading isn't fun, but it's the professors' job. Just do it!

I am rapidly becoming addicted to Amazon.com. The iPhone app doesn't help anything. I'm just jonesing to use my Amazon Prime free shipping.

More than the sex talk, I'm afraid to explain to my children how the stock market works. "Daddy, what's a stock?" is sort of a difficult question. "Daddy, what's an independent public offering?" How do you explain that to a seven year old? I'm not sure I totally know myself! "So Toys R' Us issues stock, and if you buy the stock then you own a tiny piece of that company. And if they do well then you can share in their profits. That's why I bought you that damn Tickle Me Elmo." "Daddy, what's the CFTC?" Don't even get me started on futures markets, junior.

Today I bought my first Brooks Brothers shirts (because they were having a 50% off sale). They are...so nice. I feel like a classy gentleman wearing them. Not a bad start to a professional wardrobe. I'm going to purchase large, leather-bound books to match. Maybe a red velvet smoking jacket. The cotton is so soft I'm considering using a shirt as a pillow case. Alright, now we are going overboard, but you get the picture.
Maybe someday I'll get one of their ties with the golden fleece and officially submit my application to the WASP club.
But really, the shirts are awesome. And I'll never be a WASP because I just bragged about how I got them on sale...

The Part

Sugary cereal is the best! Especially as dessert. I'm doing the Trader Joe's equivalent of Frosted Flakes. Mmmm poverty cereal (as my roommate calls it).

I started outlining for my Evidence final. I'm using a hornbook. It is approximately 7.5 times as good as my professor at explaining the material. So teaching evidence to myself is working out well so far, but it makes me wonder why I spend money on tuition when I could use a $30 book just as well for this class. The sole relevant thing my professor said during our 55 minute class today was "Physical objects are not protected by attorney client privilege." The other 54 minutes were taken up by him tangentially discussing ways that lawyers can become an accessory after the fact to a crime and end up spending some quality time in prison with their client.

Basically, I really want Thanksgiving break to come. Motivation is slipping away.
Though I am realizing that this is my last year of school. Ever. 19th grade is coming to an end, and there is no 20th. (Thank goodness!) So next semester I plan on enjoying myself. Easy schedule, time to hang out and to travel a bit. I'll probably pass/fail a class and not care very much about any of the others either. What's the name for this? Senioritis? 3L-itis just isn't as catchy.

iPhone! The future is now!
Except it took me almost a week to learn how to set up my voicemail. Would it absolutely kill Apple to send me a user manual? It's hard enough for me, I can only imagine how much less intuitive it is for someone of an older generation! I have sympathy! Or maybe I just feel old. Not "hip" and "with it." I don't know what the kids are listening to these days or how to use their new fancy phones.

I got a hair cut today and the lady cutting my hair just gave me a part without my asking. Bam, there it was. She said it looked nice - but I'm not sure how keen I am on it. But I didn't want to offend her, so I kept the part. Until I went to the gym and showered. But now my hair seems to want to part itself. It was easily suggestible, apparently. On one hand my hair does not cooperate. On the other hand, at least I'm not Medusa. Her hair would have been a real pain. And I bet she had to go to Animal Control to even get a trim.

J. Edgar Hoover was a real bastard. The movie was a'ight. Not my favorite, but not bad. I'm not sure it showed just how much of a bad guy he was. Though it was certainly not a positive portrayal.

How do I get better at Settlers of Catan? Suggestions?

Senioritis - 3L Style

At school, all of my friends - all of them - and even some people I'm not friends with have constantly been talking about how bored they are and how useless classes seem. We all seem to have hit the 3L slump. Hitting it hard. My friend Sarah, a goodie-two-shoes by any measure, has stopped doing reading. It is brutal. "The first year they scare you to death; the second year they work you to death; the third year they bore you to death," is the aphorism and it really is holding up. Luckily, I have an internship to distract me from the motivation black hole that is law school. And I will finally be starting this upcoming week. It only took the first three weeks of school to get all the necessary approvals. Thanks for holding up lots of my paperwork, school. I appreciate it. But I really am looking forward to beginning work.

It is alumni weekend at my law school. I scoff the very idea. I understand that I may eat my words later for whatever reason, but as things stand now I will never donate a dime to my law school. I'm all about undergraduate alma maters. Who roots for their grad school's sports team? Unless you are really in need of something to root for. In that case, I would recommend rooting for the Red Sox. Woo!

Also, I'm glad that NFL football is back. It gives purpose to Sunday afternoons and provides a respite from the homework that has been sitting around since Wednesday.

They say wine makes you sleepy, so I tried to take a nap today cuddling a bottle of chardonnay. It worked though, I got an hour of sleep in. Next time I'm going to spoon with a fifth of whiskey and see what happens.

Last First Day

Tomorrow is likely to be my last first day of school ever. That seems pretty crazy to me. 19th grade, here I come. It's been a long time since kindergarten's first day. Actually, there I started two weeks late because I had the chicken pox (now a cured disease, come on!) and really did not want to go to school on the first day. I was so afraid. Now I still don't want to go, but I am anything but afraid. Honestly, I am bored. It's a grind, and I am looking forward to a new routine. But I am also somewhat excited. First year of law school was...awful. Second year was...moderately bad. This year I do not have high expectations and I certainly am not going to fall in love with my school, but I know the drill and I feel like have mastered it to some extent. There is some security in the third year. I can't say I'm bored yet ("the third year they bore you to death"), but just you wait. So here's to beginnings and ends.

It is good to be back in DC. I was away longer than I wanted to be. JetBlue was nice and let me get back before Hurricane Irene struck. I mean "struck." The "hurricane" was just a lot of rain and more wind than we are used to. I think some leaves were affected the most. Maybe a couple of magazine racks. I learned to play Settler of Catan with Kerry, Alena, and Ed. Then we pretended that the weather was bad by turning out the lights. We lit candles because otherwise they just seemed like a waste. "Mmm hmm, there's gonna be weather." Maybe not as much as anticipated here. But it didn't stop a Trader Joe's mob on Saturday morning apparently. I got there later in the morning mostly because I needed to buy food, having not been here for a couple of weeks. The store was an interesting me of 1) regular shoppers, like me, 2) people freaking out and buying nonperishable food and looking like maniacs, and 3) people stocking up on alcohol. The wine section was easily getting emptied the quickest. I approved.

Ok, back to school for a second. Being smart, I still haven't bought two of my textbooks. It doesn't help that one casts $160 and there are no used versions because it's a new edition. What a pain in the butt. What do I want more, my Evidence textbook (to be used during my 8:50 am class three times per week) or a nice, new futon? Happily, the choice is not plainly one or another, but you see where I'm going with this. That's just...more money than I want to pay for this crap.
Other classes I am taking: Professional Responsibility (lawyer ethics - they do teach us ethics!), Antitrust (topical), and Public Interest Lawyering (co-requisite for my internship. I will pass/fail this class and nearly fail it). This is mostly a semester of fulfilling requirements. Next semester I will live it up.

I get The Great Roommate Change of '11 this week. It should be interesting. Soon a new soul (my friend Ryan) will share the pain of my neighbor's incessant coughing. Some night I'm just going to call an ambulance for my neighbor. Maybe the police will show up with the ambulance. I wouldn't be shocked if they came across a decent amount of illegal substances (which are probably the reason that he coughs so damn much. Stop smoking and shut the hell up!). But I am excited to live with Ryan. I have a feeling that this could decrease my productivity at home a good deal. And maybe increase me in-house beer consumption. Uh oh. Whatever, it's 3L, right?

Hurricane playlist mandatory songs:
Bob Dylan - Hurricane (duh!)
Bob Dylan - Blowin' In The Wind
The Doors - Riders on the Storm
The Scorpions - Rock You Like A Hurricane
Blind Melon - No Rain

The Little League World Series just wrapped up. The Yankees tried to enter the tournament just to stroke their ego, but were rejected. No beating up on 12-year olds for you!

No More Pencils

Today was the last day of classes of 2L. Goodnight 2L, goodnight Crim Pro, goodnight cow jumping over the tax code. Of course there are still finals between me and the summer. Three finals, to be exact. And I do not feel good about how far I am studying for them. I have one and a half outlines done out of three. Time to buckle down. I will be out of commission for the next couple of weeks, but I will emerge (hopefully victorious) on Friday the 22nd.

This past weekend I was in Boston for improv. The alumni show itself was a lot of fun, and although I was only in one game, it was a little nerve-wracking because I have not performed in front of that many people for a long time. But the group was quite good, and the alumni also pulled out some laughs. Overall, a very triumphant return, though I did feel weird and old being back at college.
After the show is the after party.
It was quite enjoyable to be back at a college party with tons of people I love and miss. There was peer pressure, dancing, yelling, petting a cat, and "meaningful" conversations. It was pretty fantastic. Great to see (in no particular order) Matt, Erica, Celia, Ethan, Ben, Ben, Leah, Zac, Sheryl, and all of the current group. (I am super excited to hear that Ryan will be coming to DC for law school next year!) Shout out to Erica and Talya for saving me. Also, to whoever stole my whiskey and possibly my undershirt, you receive a shake of my fist. Those are the good times I miss.

The next day I went around Boston with Shaked, Ron, and Matt. We went to Ron's brother's coworker's fundraiser at the Kinsale. If you think that sounds like an attenuated connection, you would be correct. I bought a Pepsi (the establishment does not sell Diet Coke), ate an appetizer or two, and then we all left. I may have used the restroom in there. The rest of the time was less awkward - walking around the Common and going to Mike's Pastry. The line was more impressive than the cannoli! Ok, fine, I didn't get a pastry. A park ranger (?) on the Common refused to take our picture. We asked politely and he was like "No time! I have to stop these hooligans from throwing around a football." Also, there was a guy walking around in a Flash costume that was falling apart. You don't see that every day.
Later that evening, Matt got in trouble at Grendel's Den for bringing in a bubble tea. He eventually won over the waitress with a huge tip, but who is the real winner in that situation?

My steak of hearing Train's "Hey Soul Sister" in the car with Shaked remains unbroken after this trip.
Congratulations to Matt for deciding to stay in Chicago and being a beast in Ph.D. applications generally. I hope he remembers the little people when he wins a Nobel. I've always wanted to go to Switzerland. Just saying, Matt.

Outrage Alert!
"Sen. Jon Kyl's claim that abortion is "well over 90% of what Planned Parenthood does.

When the actual figure turned out to be 3%, his office released a statement clarifying that Kyl's figure was "not intended to be a factual statement."

This is basically why I cannot stand Republicans. It is clear instance of getting caught in a lie and then saying something absurd to get out of it. You cannot make declarative statements on the Senate floor and then defend yourself by saying that the seemingly factual statement was not meant to be a fact. That completely undermines the manner in which we typically communicate while simultaneously defying logic. It is about as typical a "sleezy politician" thing as you can get. And I am constantly amazed at the ability of politicians (largely Republicans) to completely ignore rationality, truth, and decency.

Many thanks to Stephen Colbert for posting similar "facts" about Senator Kyl on Twitter with the hashtag (that's a thing apparently) #notafactualstatement.

Jon Kyl developed his own line of hair care products just so he could test them on bunnies.

Jon Kyl can, and will, deny that you're a jolly good fellow.

For the past ten years, Jon Kyl has been two children in a very convincing Jon Kyl suit.

Jon Kyl calls the underside of his Senate seat: "The Booger Graveyard."

Take that!

This post contains more legal stuff than usual. Maybe don't read that part of it?

This morning I had the worst treadmill experience. Ok, the second worst; I didn't fall this time. That was embarrassing beyond belief. No, today I had a perpetual itch on my shin. I kept doing the hop/lean/scratch move, but it just was not working to get rid of the itch, no matter how many hop/lean/scratch moves I did or how ridiculous I looked.

Barrister's Ball was a lot more fun than I anticipated. The venue was really nice (it's been used as a set for West Wing) and the people were lively. I think it wins the award for law school event that involved the least amount of talking about law school. A great memory is the end of the night singing "Piano Man" in a large group that included Reza, Ryan, and Steph. It was simultaneously incredibly cliche and incredibly fun. Billy Joel knows how to help make a memory.
At the pregame someone busted out a bottle of Veuve Cliquot and offered it around. Well, who am I to say no to champagne that costs about 10 times what I generally spend on a bottle of wine. Growing up every Passover my neighbor would bring a half case of Veuve to seder. That's pretty much the only reason I know anything about nice champagne. But not only is it delicious, but it has a good association for me.

Today in Law of Democracy two guest speakers came in to talk to the class. They are bringing a challenge to the law that bans non-permanent resident aliens from making campaign contributions. Although they were much younger than I expected, they did a great job, and their brief is one of the best pieces of legal writing I have come across. I suppose I should not be surprised; they both clerked on the Supreme Court. But I enjoyed reading their brief and thinking about the issue, which is a sharp departure from 99% of law school work.
Upon first thinking about the issue, my gut reaction was that non-permanent resident aliens should not be allowed to contribute, so I disagreed with their position. To some extent, I am still uncomfortable with it, but it is difficult to articulate why. The answer cannot be that aliens cannot vote; children, corporations, PACs, and nonprofits cannot vote, but can contribute. They, like aliens, all retain First Amendment rights, including the right to political expression. There is certainly a governmental interest in disallowing those loyal to other governments to exert control over our electoral system, but what about permanent resident aliens and people with dual citizenship - they may contribute and even vote. We do not want aliens acting as conduits for foreign governments to infuse cash and impact elections, but there are other laws which prohibit such action. So why exactly should non-permanent resident aliens be prohibited from making political contributions? Why should a doctor and a lawyer who were born in Canada not be allowed to donate? The lawyers I heard today want them to be able to, though they still want to exclude others, like foreign agents and tourists. They advance the idea that there must be a "sufficient connection" between the alien and this country - demonstrated through factors like paying taxes and residence. There is obviously a line drawing problem in defining "sufficient connection." People who do not and never will reside in the U.S. may still pay taxes to this country, and some, like foreign agents, who reside in the U.S. should still be excluded. What about an alien who owns property in the U.S. and pays property taxes, but lives here for one week or one day? Why is it legal for residents of Massachusetts contribute to candidates for Connecticut state legislature? That seems to be quite a similar situation. Massachusetts and Connecticut are separate sovereigns with separate governments, and their mutual interests may be similar to the mutual interests between the U.S. and Canada.
The best reason I can come up with for being uncomfortable with disallowing non-resident aliens to give political contributions is that they are somehow not a full part of the United States' political community and therefore should be excluded from exerting such direct influence over our electoral process, a process fundamental to our government and nation. It is unclear how to exactly define who is and who is not an appropriate part of the political community, so again there is a line drawing problem similar to determining what is a "sufficient connection." In both cases the appropriate response may have to be pointing to the system of immigration classifications that Congress has enacted. The classifications may not have been designed with this goal in mind and may rest upon arbitrary distinctions, but at least they are a clear guideline.
The case is Bluman v. Federal Election Commission.
Sorry for that, I hope you didn't read it all. But it is interesting to me, and I wanted to preserve my thoughts in case I ever want to refer back to them. In case I ever can't think them again!

Game Time

Okay, I really do have a resolution for the new year, a serious one. I want to be more decisive. I think. (Joke!)
That beats my other resolution of teaching people how dish racks work and specifically pointing out to everyone that you have to put the dishes away once they are dry, they are not going to do it by magic. Pet peeve alert.

I was just talking about the sad episode of Futurama to Shaked, the one about Fry's dog. It occurs to me that I find sad animal movies sadder on average than sad human movies. The movie "My Dog Skip" (it had Malcolm in the Middle in it) is much sadder than...oh say "Pearl Harbor." That dog was so cute! Ben Affleck...meh. Hope I didn't ruin it for you. (Dumbledore dies!)

Part of my new years resolution was driven home by my indecision in choosing classes. I have to make a change (or two) to my schedule. And I have been questioning it for a while. Arg. But it looks like I am ending up with Criminal Procedure (this is the iffy one), Law of Democracy (it sounds like a joke, but it's actually cool - voting rights and political parties and whatnot), Lawyers Lobbying and the Law (also sounds like a joke...I offer no defense), and Federal Income Tax (not a joke in any way, shape, or form).

I would be better at 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon if I knew more movies Kevin Bacon was in.

Welcome to the U.S. House of Representatives, Speaker Bo(eh)ner.

Keep on rockin in the winter wonderland

News flash! New England got pummeled by snow. We got about a foot here that I had the special privilege of shoveling. Its reasons like this that New Englanders are unfailingly self-important - our righteous snow removal. It was kind of fun watching the Great Blizzard of '10, but it got far less enjoyable when I realized that I wasn't going outside at all yesterday. I even did a bit of work on my note as a result of my cabin fever. Nothing like being forced into productivity. That's perhaps how I imagine ritalin feels.

If there is one thing I hate, it is "Eat, Pray, Love." So maybe I've never actually read the book or seen the movie, but I am 100% certain that I hate it.

I talked with a friend of mine who has an M.F.A. in poetry. She was reminiscing about how difficult grad school was and how they all had to open up to each other and share their feelings. They were treated as such individuals. I could not think of a more contrasting graduate school experience to law school. Feelings? What are those? No one cares how this makes you feel, they want to know whether proper 553 notice and comment rulemaking procedures were followed. Write a poem about that. Then burn it because it will be the second worst poem ever (after Maya Angelou's "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings," yes it is a poem as well as the title of her book).

My iTunes has chosen to spread the message that I should "Keep on rockin' in the free world." Since this is my blog, I thought I would share that inspirational message in these dark and troubled times.

There is a new heating system in my mother's house. When the heat goes on the pipes make a noise that sounds like a TIE Fighter. It is super distracting.

The big 1/2

It might be 1:45 am. It might be an inopportune time to update a blog. It might be silly, but I am halfway through with law school.

"Whoa, we're halfway there. Whoa, livin' on a prayer."

Thank you, thank you.

My corporations final was ridiculous. We read about 85 cases this semester. We were asked (closed book) factual details about some of them. We were also asked about things that my professor discussed for fewer than 10 minutes in class. This was out of 25 multiple choice questions, plus three "short answer" questions.
Speaking of the short answers, you would be surprised how quickly you reach 400 words. And my professor said that the word limit would be an upper limit that "no one would reach." My answers were, 397, 398, 398 words respectively. Thanks professor.

Glen Beck is the worst. Not even 'fair and balanced,' just the worst.

I Recommend the youtube video "So you want to go to law school"

My goodness, how is it Wednesday already? I have been trying to buckle down, go into 'hermit mode' and get work done this week. Somehow I just feel like I'm treading water. It could be worse, I could be slipping. It helps that Con Law is the slowest thing ever. If we moved more slowly in that class, time would move backwards. And Admin is becoming as dry as a saltine. I wish I could report people saying stupid things in these classes, but really no one talks; no one even pays much attention. It is embarrassing how many computer screens are on gchat or the Wikipedia page for Sega.

I am still not sure what I am going to be for Halloween. Who really cares? I don't want to spend lots of money on an "awesome" costume. You can really only use it once (maybe reuse it on Purim if you are one of the chosen people). The only good reason to have a costume is so that other people won't harass you for not dressing up. I think I've mostly used up my cop-out costumes (like throwing on my old Starbucks apron), so unless I think of another one, I might be forced to branch out into the world of 'real' costumes. There's an earn of corn costume at Target, think that will go over well?

The bluebook is quite possibly the most frustrating book ever. More frustrating than "Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man." In case you don't go to law school or are not inexplicably well versed in legal writing, the bluebook is a style guide to legal citations. Just the description should give you an idea of how poor it is. I am spending a lot of time with this masterpiece of a book. Thanks journal.

I want pie

Where did the week go? Last full week of classes of 1L year. So sad (read: best news ever!!). Finding a sublet and finals, that's all I really have to worry about right now. Also the fact that my building refused to turn on the air conditioning despite it reaching 90 this week. That sucked. It felt like being in the swamp that this city was built on. I didn't sleep well for three nights. Don't I have a fan? No; the building has central air. There was absolutely no need for it before and no one warned me. What do I look like, a weather psychic?

Eating bread again was glorious, but getting the food was a fiasco. A Lupe Fiasco. I was planning to go to Pizzeria Paradiso with a friend for pizza and beer - two incredibly non-Passover friendly things. What started as two people turned into 8. I was the one who had to go put my name on the list because everyone else had class. They joined me half an hour later. Pizzeria Paradiso is a popular establishment and I knew this was going to be a bad idea. Whoever thought it was going to take 30 minutes (my friend) was incredibly incorrect. Seating 8 people at a popular restaurant takes a little while. The number went down to 6, then 5, but I still ended up waiting for an hour be seated. I, like many people, get a little grumpy when I am hungry. By the time I got food I was seething with anger. The only thing that made the dinner remotely ok was that I could again eat real pizza and other bread products.

Today is preview day for the law school. "They all look so happy." "They haven't had their souls crushed yet." I couldn't decide which was the best way to mess with the zero-L's (as someone dubbed them), so I just carried on as usual and ignored them. Though I did steal a Starburst that was meant for the zero-L's in a gallant act of defiance. I fought the law.

In Property we did about four classes on intellectual property. There was a lawsuit about post-Napster downloading programs like Morpheus, which I totally had (and was totally illegal - oops). First off, it was weird reading the Supreme Court discussing Modest Mouse and Wilco. Second, after class I asked my property professor about Girl Talk. (Probably legal as a fair use of other people's copyrighted material and since he only uses parts of other songs). My professor responded by talking to me about the Grey Album case. Wow, apparently my professor is one hip lady. She was pretty up on the Black Album...and the White Album, which does not make her hip in any way. Also, she said she's going to look into Girl Talk. Yup, gave her a new music suggestion. I can't wait for her to listen to Girl Talk using a song like "Gettin' Some Head." She'll probably love it.

What A Crazy Friday Night

Live from DC...it's Friday night! And I am sitting at home reading my opposing counsel's brief and looking up cases on LexisNexis. Why? Because I have oral arguments tomorrow morning. Thus, I am not going to Barrister's Ball (law school prom), nor am I going anywhere else tonight except to sleep (if I'm lucky and my body feels like cooperating). I am a huge winner.

Problem: opposing counsel's brief is...well...how do I say this politely...poor. There are punctuation errors, spelling errors (my favorite was leaving the "e" off "rationale"), organization problems, and statements that are just plain wrong. It's all very distracting and makes the brief hard to follow and difficult to rebut. I only have 15 minutes of oral argument - how am I supposed to point out all of her factual errors and make my own case while responding to questions from the judges? It's going to be a balancing act. Hopefully her oral argument will be a little less...incorrect than her brief. I'm really not trying to be mean here; the brief really just has misleading/incorrect information. I personally like opposing counsel. We'll see how it goes over tomorrow morning.

I do not have enough quarters to do laundry. My closet tells me this is going to be a huge problem very soon.

My Contracts professor describing a party breaching a contract: "He pulled out and disappeared." I laughed a little because I am immature. But not as immature as the people who laugh when my Property professor talks about testators and dying intestate. (Testate means leaving a valid will. Fun fact, which I did not know until this week.)

Good news: apparently the interview went well - I got the job! Very exciting.

More good news: my mom was in town for business tonight and I went out to dinner with her. It was nice to see her. It was also nice to eat steak. Of course, I learned from my lesson at the Brazilian restaurant in January and only had one plate of meat. Six was too many. Nakul knows.

Sorry about the bottom of this one

Today brought more people complaining about how they have to use their brains in Con Law. I am not impressed. Though I am impressed with the inventiveness of Congress to use the Interstate Commerce Clause to justify enforcing the Civil Rights Act of 1964, if not extremely persuaded by their argument. Seems like a 14th Amendment issue. But that only applies to states, not private businesses. Oh, right. There's a possibility that the Civil Rights Act is unconstitutional. Uh oh. Alright, I'm not actually that concerned. I don't think it's going anywhere. It's not like the Supreme Court has made any huge decisions recently that have been exactly wrong. Oh wait.

Speaking of the Citizens United decision, it was pointed out to me today that foreign businesses and even foreign government can now fund elections. That just doesn't seem like a) a good idea, or b) covered by the First Amendment.

I spent 11 hours at school today, and it's not finals. That's a bad sign. Luckily I got a lot done. But not enough. Still have a lot of my motion brief for LRW. Still have to send out applications until I get a job. Still have to solve the Middle East Conflict. One of those things was actually beyond the scope of what I need to do. No hints as to which one.

I am applying for a job with the New York Mets (in the legal department, though the way their team is shaping up they might have an opening for me in right field). That would be a baller job for the summer. "What did you do over the summer?" "I sat around a judge's chambers and was his whipping boy for 40 hours a week. But I improved my writing skills! How about you?" "Oh, just kicked it around Citi Field with the New York Mets." Writing skills vs. baseball. Baseball clearly wins every time. Though judging by this blog, maybe I could stand to improve my writing skills...damn my inarticulateness-ism-ed-ing-more suffixes.

As long as I'm being nerdy, I don't mind sharing that I am reading a book about important American Cold War era diplomats, and Dean Acheson is the man! Wow. That actually couldn't be nerdier. Unless I wrote a fantasy piece about Dean Acheson applying his experiences in the State Department to negotiate a secret treaty between Mordor and Gondor so that together they could rule Middle Earth. No. I'm totally done. Wow. That was too far. I'm actually tempted to delete this paragraph. But I'm not doing it because I love stream of conscious writing. It has something to do with my love of J.D. Salinger. It's complicated. Don't ask. Don't judge me. aaaaaaand scene.

Semester: Take 2

Today was the first day of classes of the second semester. I'm actually excited for Constitutional Law. The professor is a visiting faculty member from Duke. He has a Ph.D. in Theology and a southern accent. A number of my classmates said he was difficult to understand. I think they are being elitists and need to open themselves up to respecting different types of people. When pressed their complaint was actually that he speaks too softly. I have no adequate retort. Maybe listen harder? Grow bigger ears? The professor also insists that we not use computers during class. It's going to be hard to gchat without a computer. I'm actually a fan of this policy. It's going to force me to pay attention to a subject that I'm interested in. As weird as it sounds, there was actually a chance I wouldn't do that. The perils of law school.

Another peril of law school will be going to my LRW class tomorrow (now formally called "Introduction to Advocacy," which makes it sound like I don't know how to advocate a position - if you know me, then you know this is not true. I am an excellent advocate of anger, refer to the following). The peril in going to the class mostly entails sitting quietly, feigning interest rather than throwing the projector through the white board and attempting to incite violent overthrow of my professor's tyrannical rule. Seriously, he sucks. The class is the one thing in his life he has control over; he certainly doesn't have control over his work or personal life what with being a fifth year associate. It's all he has man. Please, take out the fact that you are at the whim of your managing partner 24 hours a day on a class of first year law students, that would be great.

There are a ton of things that happened over break. Too many to recount all of them. But Mostly I saw a ton of people, which was really nice. I'm not sure if there was any day that I only hung out with one person. And even with that I still did not get to see everyone I wanted to see, or see some people (if not everyone) as much as I would have liked.

New Years Eve was spent in Boston. Me, Jonah, Jessie, Caitlin, Molly, and Eli got a hotel room. Other people, including BDP (yay) and Nelson (boo...big time) came by. I have no idea how everyone got there. The hotel was in the South End, where, despite being from Boston, I have spent barely any time. Plus driving on New Years Eve isn't exactly the greatest idea. We slightly trashed the hotel room. Molly spilled something gross on the closet door, Jonah almost jammed the window, someone almost broke the bathtub, etc. The next morning there was a good deal to clean up - mostly taken care of by me and Caitlin. After pregaming at the hotel, we went to a club nearby. (Sidenote: I hate clubs. They are sketchy, expensive, and loud. Any place that date rape seems prevalent I just can't get behind. The club was clearly the girls idea. Something along the lines of needing to dance. I've never said "I just need to dance" in my life.) The club was close, and we were all a little warm on the inside, so we wisely did not bring our coats on the way to the club. It was late December (and then early January) in Boston, so it was clearly freezing. The five minute walk included getting slightly lost, so that was bad enough. Then we picked up our pre-ordered tickets from the bouncer and were told to wait on line to get in. Wait on line?? We have tickets! So did everyone else in line, it turned out. We were probably on line for a solid seven minutes, but that was seven minutes of awfulness. Why didn't we bring our coats again? Oh right, because we are idiots. By the time we got to the front of the line I had never been happier to get into a club. Of course that faded quickly when I had to save Jessie from sketchy guys three times in the first five minutes. What do you expect? Clubs suck.

Another highlight of break involved getting Matt Brown drunk. If I had a super power, it would be the power of peer pressure. And I certainly used it on Saturday night against Matt Brown. The best part was that it was planned out with Keara and Matt Francis beforehand, and then executed perfectly. In fairness, I am not the one who brought out the bottle of tequila. The fact that it was tequila was just an added bonus. But techniques such as bringing a lime and salt for easy use worked perfectly. I hope Matt Brown had a good time. We did sing songs for him! (Matt Brown, you don't have to put on the red light.) And we got some choice quotes. ("There are only so many nights in a day.") Leah laughed until she cried when Matt Brown fell off a chair. Whoopsies. We also spent a lot of time singing that Miley Cyrus song...again. But now, after hearing it enough times, I sort of know the words. That's a little embarrassing, but not more than her (or, to be more accurate, whoever wrote the song for her) attempt to rhyme "crazy" with "famous" or the line "the butterflies fly away." I've mentioned how dumb that line is to a lot of people and just about every girl has responded, "You know, like the butterflies in her stomach." Yes, I know. But it doesn't make that a better lyric.

School's In

The first day of law school came and went. Which is good, because that's how days are supposed to go. If it went without ever coming then we would have a problem. I'm particularly happy about the day leaving. Because it was not the best day that ever happened. Nothing was specifically wrong with it per se, but I am not exactly having the easiest time settling into school, life in DC, not having all my friends here, etc. But that's alright, hopefully it will get better. If it doesn't then I will have to change this blog's title to Will's drop-out Law Blog, which isn't as catchy.

Law school is an awful lot like high school I can't help but notice. There are a bunch of similarities. One is that we have lockers. Luckily the 2L and 3L's aren't at school yet, so they can't shove me into the lockers until someone hears my cries for help. Another reason that probably won't happen is that the lockers could not possibly fit the volume of my body. I am far too big. I think these lockers could barely house a squirrel. Another reason law school is high school is that we have a zillion (read: 5) classes, sometimes half a zillion (read: 4) a day. Who does that? We also have the same people in every class. And homework for every class every night that you pretty much have to do. I feel like I'm regressing. Particularly because it takes me about an hour to do a 15 page homework assignment. But at least that's because it usually requires briefing cases and complex legal ideas, not because I'm an extraordinarily slow reader.

In true high school fashion, I present a math problem that is totally useless:
Law School = High School - (Jocks + Preps + Other Cliques) + (Vocational Training - Shop Class) + [(Paying attention in class) x (Teachers liking you)] - Gym.

Here's a thing that sucks: the school automatically takes an additional $50 from your tuition as a voluntary library fee and you have to specifically request that they not do it. That's not ok. They are relying on my laziness or lack of reading comprehension to take my $50 away from me. A fool and his money are soon parted. But I'm not a fool, at least not about this. This is a ridiculous policy. It's like if I come to your house and take smuggle out a trophy from your youth, like your security blanket, but I leave an unsigned note on your nightstand telling you I've done so and that I'll be happy to give it back to you pending your arrival at my front door. It's more than a little inconvenient to find out who I'm supposed to talk to, where financial aid is, wait in line, and present the letter showing your attempt to rip me off. The things I do for $50. But you would too...if you noticed they took it.