Frack

Alright blog, here we go.

Finals being over was clutch. I spent a few days in DC without any real responsibility. Lots of laundry, groceries, and general responsibilities aside, I did little. I have to say, the best night was that Wednesday. I went with my roommate to pub trivia and a whiskey bar, and then we watched "A New Hope." It's really all I've ever wanted in an evening. The only other evening of note was Damien's Christmas Party. Thanks to Dan and Rachel, that night turned into a haze. Dan instigated many many shots of Scandinavian schnapps, one of the few liquors that gets worse with each shot. I just got annoyingly drunk (sorry everyone I was around!). The next morning there was a lovely group text:
Dan: Sorry about that everyone. Thanks for drinking with me
Me: My head...
Rachel: I'm still drunk
Dan: I ended my streak of not puking in DC
Rachel: I ended my streak of not blacking out at dinner parties.
For the record, Rachel's streak only dates back to Damien's Passover dinner party by my count. Whelp, that was DC Christmas.

DC Hanukkah was more of a sober event. It consisted of Ed and me cooking for Alena and Kerry while watching Tim Tebow lose to the Patriots. What up.

Then it was back to Boston, where I currently am. Boston has been, well, rather dull. I've seen some people and that has been nice. Christmas was very traditional: BDP's for Christmas Eve, family friend's for dinner, and Emma's for evening activities. It's as regular as Santa's mad dash around the world. Once again, Santa did not show up for me - even though I have a chimney. How does he know which children are Christian? Does he just go by last name and make all sorts of dangerous assumptions? I mean, Dave Goldberg we can probably cross off the list, but there are tons of ambiguities.
Does anyone actually get coal? That would be awesome. I'd be way more behind the idea of Santa if people actually got coal when they were naughty that year. What a superior system of child discipline. Do rich kids who have been naughty get coal derivatives from a futures market? Was any fracking involved in that coal extraction?

Fracking as a great word. It sounds way better than what it is: a method of extracting coal and natural gas from rock.

For my birthday, Shaked got my How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) Seasons 4 and 5, but I promised not to watch them until the end of finals. That was a good choice since I would have spent lots more time watching HIMYM than studying. But since finals ended, I have been in a HIMYM marathon. I'm just about at the end of season 5. It's like crack! Even though it's going steadily downhill and slowly consuming my life. Hey, it really is like crack.

So Happy Holidays everyone.

This Is The Story of the Hurricane - Not That Punny

I think Qaddafi is hiding out in Pakistan. That would be so funny. Just my guess.

I switched my flight back to DC because of the hurricane, just as a precaution. A better safe than sorry thing. Storms are supposed to start in DC on Saturday afternoon, and my flight was scheduled to arrive Saturday afternoon, so why risk it? Instead, I will be flying down tomorrow night.
But logistics aside, people are really worried about the hurricane. Why? It's bad weather, worse than usual, yes, but still just bad weather. You can't really do anything about it. Buying water and candles is one thing, but stockpiling canned meals is another. Home Depot sold out of batteries apparently. Knowing DC residents (from Snowpocalypse), they will be buying anything left on the shelf. Why? You aren't going into hibernation. It's just a really bad storm. If you are really that worried, I think your time may be better spent building an altar to Zeus.

Tonight I let Groupon do the work for me. I often don't buy into these internet fad things. But somehow I like these discount deals. I mean, of course I like the discount, but more than that I like that they help me choose which restaurant to go to. Tonight I had dinner with Leah and Erica, which was very fun and good to see them. I didn't know where to go, but Groupon had a huge deal on the nicest restaurant in town, so we went there and ate great food for cheap. Not to mention being vaguely underdressed for the formality of the restaurant, but that somehow made it even better. Especially when dinner conversation involves topics perhaps inappropriate for the setting. But the end result: so much pasta, can't move. Thanks for making a great decision for me, Groupon.

Radio Silence

Wow, so sorry for the radio silence. It's been...a lot. I was sick for a while in DC, then came up to Boston for a nice little vacation and ended up in the hospital for a few days. Dream vacation. Better than a cruise. No really, the hospital is less confining than a cruise ship, minus the whole being sick thing. At least there was no rocking. But there were vital sign check-ins every four hours. My favorite one was the regular 4 am check-in. It didn't lead to a lot of good sleep, let me say.

But now I am out and healthy(ish), regaining my energy and having a "real" vacation. I had to postpone my DC return, and in doing so I missed the DC earthquake. Too bad, I have never been in an earthquake. It sounds exciting. Added bonus: none of the stuff in my apartment broke or fell. My roommate reports that some of the pictures on my walls are askew. Damn you, earthquake! But really what is this, California? We don't have nearly enough actors to cause earthquakes in DC.

My time in Boston is going pretty well. I am just hanging out, relaxing...shootin' some b-ball outside of school. Alright, maybe not that. More like going to the outlets with Shaked and Ron and trying to convince Ron to buy argyle sweater-vests. But if you are in Boston and want to see me, I suggest you let me know. I'm looking at Erica right now. That's right, getting called out in a blog post. Which you may or may not read. I understand after the long silence, people may have thought I sunk after hitting an iceberg. Not the case. It's summer - there aren't icebergs. Idiot.

I'm sorry, but I really do not get the appeal of Mad Men. I am on the Season 1 finale, and there is still no concrete plot line. A lot of things just kind of happen. So what? Do people like it because it is breaking the traditional Aristotelian plot progression? I doubt it. Is it the 60's style? Or is it just that the actors look pretty? I just don't get it. And yet...I've watched season 1 and the question remains - why?

I wish that I had my class schedule figured out. But I don't. I would love to know how many credits my internship will give me. But why would the school want to tell me a silly thing like that? Oh yeah, I got an internship for this semester. It should be fun and more importantly minimize the time I have to spend in a lecture, reading a textbook, or taking a final.

In other news, I got an offer from my firm. It happened the same day I got out of the hospital. That was...a very good day. I don't think the impact of it has quite sunk in, but I am happy and consider myself very lucky. I would say the odds are about 95% that I will take it. Deep breath. Very lucky.

This Is the Tale

I tried to write about it the night it happened, but I was too full of sugar: Ron, Shaked and I went to Max Brenner and ate a chocolate pizza. Yeah, that's exactly what it sounds like. And we got it "loaded." A sweet pizza-type crust topped with melted chocolate, bananas, hazelnuts, marshmallows, and peanut butter sauce. It was delicious and sent me into an immediate sugar high as we walked down Newbury Street in an attempt to walk off the sugar. It was like trying to sober up in a way. I liked the chocolate pizza more than the Chihuly exhibit at the MFA that we had just seen. I can only speak for myself, but I think all three of us were giddy with chocolate. It was one of those experiences that you can say you had, but I doubt I will ever eat chocolate pizza again.

Last night was my last night in Boston. I went with a lot of people to 90's night. That's a nice, classic activity and was a lot of fun. My biggest issue is that I kept singing the new SNL Digital Short song over the 90's music that was playing. It is incredible how many songs easily fit with "This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow." That song has been stuck in my head for four days, thanks Michael Bolton. I am far from unique in this addiction. I even showed the clip to my mom who was amused despite never having seen Pirates of the Carribean. I also watched Drunk History with my mom (she did not appreciate it adequately) and Julia Child via Hulu (she appreciated this a lot more - weird).
At 90's night I reinvigorated a game of assassin that has been dead for at least 4 years and "assassinated" Foxy and Leah. I think I am currently winning that game, if only because no one else is playing. But that cannot stop my competitive spirit.

I had Anna's Taqueria twice. Still what is missing in the universe for me. Following my first Anna's outing (with Erica) we went to get ice cream. The store had a flavor called "Chocolate Ascendance" and I asked the girl at the register what was in it. This girl could not have been more unenthusiastic. She had to work give off the aura of unhappiness. She answered me, "It is like...chocolate ice cream with like...chocolate...brownies....and...chocolate...like...chips....and like...basically it's just a lot of chocolate." Erica died laughing at this girl once we sat down. I wanted to put her on suicide watch or at least ask her if she wanted to talk about anything. Come on, you work at an ice cream store: just how bad can your life be? Are you unhappy? Have some ice cream! We all scream for it.

Hrm, I just realized there has been a lot of chocolate in this post/the past week of my life. A trend to continue?

I have been slacking on the updates hardcore. But it is my brief summer before work, so give me a break. I am in Boston for the week. I spent yesterday (Mothers' Day) with my mom. I had been traveling and had not yet procured a gift, so I warned her that I would need an hour with the car on Sunday before I could commence with official Mothers' Day ceremonies. After half an hour of sweating it out at Crate & Barrel, I remembered something she said she wanted: kitchen shears. I also got her a nice cold beverage travel container (something practical) and a set of colored porcelain measuring cups (something cute). I think I did pretty well overall. Could be worse, she could have gotten a macaroni necklace. I think she has received a few of those in my time.
Apparently the stores in the mall opened at noon, so I had to wait around for a bit before getting a gift. I clearly did not get the memo about opening at noon on Sundays. I mean, I know stores open late, but not that late. What about all the poor men out there who lack adequate planning skills and are forced to purchase presents the day of?! What about all the poor women out there who just received lovely flowers but do not have an adequate matching vase to put them in? What about all the people who need to purchase a milk frother for their Sunday brunch? Come on, think about it Crate & Barrel. You are not acting like a store of the people.

Friday I was in Baltimore for Nakul's recital. I thought he did a great job. He sang a nice little song called "If You've Only Got A Moustache," which you should totally check out. Before the recital I walked around the Inner Harbor. I got there on the Circulator, a free bus. It was around 3:30 on Friday afternoon, and there was a good deal of traffic as well as a lot of people on the Circulator. Halfway through the ride, this well-dressed man and two well-dressed women got on. It was pretty clear they had never ridden the Circulator before, and I am not positive that the man had ever taken public transportation before. He was shocked at how crowded the bus was and loudly inquired, "Don't you people have jobs?" When he realized other people could hear him he tried to play it off as a joke, but really he was just a pompous jerk. Later, I wound up next to him and the two women towards the back of the bus. He continued to comment about how long the ride took, how the bus kept stopping, and how he would certainly never use the bus again. Buddy, it's a free bus: you get what you paid for. Additionally, you look like an arrogant buffoon with no idea of how "the commoners" live. If you have such a problem with it, why don't you whip out your wallet and pay for a taxi cab. Or just drive your Rolls Royce to the Inner Harbor.

After Nak's recital, we went out to the Alehouse, where we did not pay for the bar tab. I had some good conversations, Nakul enjoyed the company of his friends, and BDP made hilarious conversation with the waitstaff (who had boyfriends, sadly for him). I must emphasize that none of the "children" (30 and unders at this point, just to be safe), paid the tab. Many of us wandered to another hole in the wall bar, where we imbibed unnecessary, cheap pints, and Stephanie consumed what she imagined to be the last olive in Baltimore (the first bar was out, and this was the last olive at the second bar).

Today I went with my mother to Woodman's, which claims to have invented the fried clam. Alright, they invented it. I don't know why I am skeptical, but I like to think it is a healthy skepticism. It was very New England, and I enjoyed it. I almost bought a small wooden figurine of a sailor from them, but I realized this was an unnecessary trinket, and I could just remind myself that I was a gritty New Englander in my mind. Super gritty. Nothing but true grit up in law school.

I did not fail Tax!

I finished "All the Pretty Horses" last night. That Cormac McCarthy sure knows how to write. Now I get to watch the movie, if only so I can say, "The book was better."

No More Pencils

Today was the last day of classes of 2L. Goodnight 2L, goodnight Crim Pro, goodnight cow jumping over the tax code. Of course there are still finals between me and the summer. Three finals, to be exact. And I do not feel good about how far I am studying for them. I have one and a half outlines done out of three. Time to buckle down. I will be out of commission for the next couple of weeks, but I will emerge (hopefully victorious) on Friday the 22nd.

This past weekend I was in Boston for improv. The alumni show itself was a lot of fun, and although I was only in one game, it was a little nerve-wracking because I have not performed in front of that many people for a long time. But the group was quite good, and the alumni also pulled out some laughs. Overall, a very triumphant return, though I did feel weird and old being back at college.
After the show is the after party.
It was quite enjoyable to be back at a college party with tons of people I love and miss. There was peer pressure, dancing, yelling, petting a cat, and "meaningful" conversations. It was pretty fantastic. Great to see (in no particular order) Matt, Erica, Celia, Ethan, Ben, Ben, Leah, Zac, Sheryl, and all of the current group. (I am super excited to hear that Ryan will be coming to DC for law school next year!) Shout out to Erica and Talya for saving me. Also, to whoever stole my whiskey and possibly my undershirt, you receive a shake of my fist. Those are the good times I miss.

The next day I went around Boston with Shaked, Ron, and Matt. We went to Ron's brother's coworker's fundraiser at the Kinsale. If you think that sounds like an attenuated connection, you would be correct. I bought a Pepsi (the establishment does not sell Diet Coke), ate an appetizer or two, and then we all left. I may have used the restroom in there. The rest of the time was less awkward - walking around the Common and going to Mike's Pastry. The line was more impressive than the cannoli! Ok, fine, I didn't get a pastry. A park ranger (?) on the Common refused to take our picture. We asked politely and he was like "No time! I have to stop these hooligans from throwing around a football." Also, there was a guy walking around in a Flash costume that was falling apart. You don't see that every day.
Later that evening, Matt got in trouble at Grendel's Den for bringing in a bubble tea. He eventually won over the waitress with a huge tip, but who is the real winner in that situation?

My steak of hearing Train's "Hey Soul Sister" in the car with Shaked remains unbroken after this trip.
Congratulations to Matt for deciding to stay in Chicago and being a beast in Ph.D. applications generally. I hope he remembers the little people when he wins a Nobel. I've always wanted to go to Switzerland. Just saying, Matt.

Outrage Alert!
"Sen. Jon Kyl's claim that abortion is "well over 90% of what Planned Parenthood does.

When the actual figure turned out to be 3%, his office released a statement clarifying that Kyl's figure was "not intended to be a factual statement."

This is basically why I cannot stand Republicans. It is clear instance of getting caught in a lie and then saying something absurd to get out of it. You cannot make declarative statements on the Senate floor and then defend yourself by saying that the seemingly factual statement was not meant to be a fact. That completely undermines the manner in which we typically communicate while simultaneously defying logic. It is about as typical a "sleezy politician" thing as you can get. And I am constantly amazed at the ability of politicians (largely Republicans) to completely ignore rationality, truth, and decency.

Many thanks to Stephen Colbert for posting similar "facts" about Senator Kyl on Twitter with the hashtag (that's a thing apparently) #notafactualstatement.

Jon Kyl developed his own line of hair care products just so he could test them on bunnies.

Jon Kyl can, and will, deny that you're a jolly good fellow.

For the past ten years, Jon Kyl has been two children in a very convincing Jon Kyl suit.

Jon Kyl calls the underside of his Senate seat: "The Booger Graveyard."

Take that!

I seem to have shipped up to Boston

Here I am, back in Boston for the "holidays." I woke up early this morning to catch a MARC commuter train to Baltimore. And from Baltimore I was to drive up with Nakul. Well my karma from waking up on time did not translate into good train schedule luck. The 7:30 train was delayed indefinitely and the 8:30 was outright canceled. I managed to get on an Amtrak and get to Baltimore, which was magical in itself because I had not yet had any coffee. While on the train, I almost kicked the guy in front of me who was listening to a playlist from his phone without any earphones plugged in. In fairness, I probably would have equally vindictive thoughts even if I had coffee, but it made my attitude was quite pronounced this morning. Nakul and I ended up making great time from Baltimore (6 hours) while avoiding most traffic and bad weather.

Since I last updated I've done a whole lot of nothing. Unless you count being at the bar as something. Then I've done a lot of something. For some reason all of my classmates were quite anxious to go drinking after finishing finals. Well who was I to say no? The post-finals party was pretty epic. I will remember it for my relative sobriety compared to everyone else's complete lack of let's say self-control. The word for it is mess. Hilarious mess that I can laugh about even if no one else will remember. Some drunk 1L kept buying everyone drinks, me included. Another drunk 1L bought everyone shots. As I was leaving, my drunk friend tried to buy me a shot which I politely declined. The problem was that he didn't just buy one shot for me, nor two shorts for us to have together. Rather, he bought five shots because he seemed to think that was a rational choice at that point of the night. He spent the next ten minutes trying to pawn some off because it was almost 2 am and (surprise surprise) most people were in no shape for ripping whiskey shots.

4 am is not a good time of day to be awake for. Next time I think its a good idea to play beer dice after closing down a bar, I need to think again.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, I have not slept well in a good long while. Between regular sleeping issues, a month of finals studying where I have problems shutting down my brain, bar nights, and early mornings, it has been a long haul. I am looking forward to at least three good nights of sleep this vacation. That's my goal. And if my cats wake me up, I will give them the crappy cat food for the entire time I am here, so help me. (Good threat, right?) Three nights - think I can do it? I am honestly not sure if I can. It's a wonder they don't make game shows out of these situations.

Administrative Law Is A Huge Waste of Time

This has been easily the most interesting week in Con Law so far. Admittedly that is a pretty low bar, like being the most delicious corn muffin. We have been talking about free speech. Monday we discussed profanity and you could tell my professor was looking forward to teaching the class. He dropped about 40 F-bombs during class, along with a bunch of other curse words that were entirely unnecessary but he just had to get off his chest. Tuesday we talked about libelous speech and he read the magazine Us Weekly to the class, including a description of a country star who has 3 pet raccoons (prompting the kid next to me to mutter "hick"...he wasn't the only one). Today we were talking about obscenity and my professor said "The court says that obscenity is worthless speech. Nickelback is worthless speech, why can't we ban that?" Thank you! That's what I've been campaigning for a while. Why not throw Five for Fighting in there too while we're at it.

Does anyone else want to spray out all of the Pam just to see how much olive oil is in it?

My brief visit to Boston was a good way to break the regular weekly cycle. I finally purchased an object of longstanding desire: a fleece-lined hoodie which became affordable thanks to student discounts on top of other discounts. Shaked couldn't get one because she isn't built like a linebacker and they didn't have smalls. I also ate myself into a Guatemalan food and candy coma with Ron and Shaked before seeing Robert Downey Jr. punch a small child in the stomach (in a movie, not in person - that would have been a much better story). I (with Shaked) prohibited Ethan from bringing a large stuffed unicorn out on a Friday night, pet my cats, and debated my mother about the utility of teachers unions. Overall, what I'd expect from a much-needed visit.

There is a New York Times story about the Onion news stories about Joe Biden. That's meta. Also, hilarious that they generated that much attention. The best part is that the Times tried to get an interview with Biden for their article. It was laughingly denied.

I'm Brian Fellows.

Quarter to twelve and we just gettin' in

Thanks to refereeing a fencing tournament this weekend, I actually had to get up earlier during the weekend than I do the week. As a result, sleep has been difficult to come by, which is not aided by my body's refusal to turn off every night. Someone suggested tea or milk to help. I suggest whiskey.

Friday at work my "mentor" aka, the person in charge of the other intern and me, did not have any work for me to do in the morning. His instructions were "Go mess around on espn.com. I'll see what I can come up with." After four hours I finally got some work - organizing a spreadsheet in a different way and adding two sentences to a cover letter. Those took about 5 minutes each, and there wasn't a really good way to stretch them out. Then I got to look over a brief. Please discount the pun but that assignment was brief as well. Hope this week is more promising. Otherwise I'm starting to get angry as the computer cheats more and more at Hearts.

My friend who works at Ferragamo was trying to get me to buy shoes. While I am certain of their quality, on sale and with his 40% discount I still do not have $400 to spend on shoes, thank you.

While I do not desire to speak of the actual game, Thursday night I went out to a bar in Fenway for Game 7 Celtics/Lakers. Packard, fresh from a year in China, was present, as were a number of people I haven't seen in a while. Halfway through the game someone we knew started working the downstairs bar, so drinks were pretty easy to come by.
...I am not sure I have ever seen so many angry Bostonians in one place at around midnight that night. No one was happy. Thinking ahead, I parked my car about half a mile away from Fenway so I wouldn't get caught in a police barricade. I did walk by a few squads of riot police, tear gas ready, but I had no trouble getting home. Unfortunately there was no riot to disperse, and the precautions of the Boston PD were for naught.

There are some people who are perfectly nice who I just do not care for. People who are nice, and despite being kind of boring seem like they have more to themselves. What are you hiding? A ruthless, back-stabbing true personality? The fact that you are secretly (or not so secretly) a moron? Or are you actually just really boring? Unanswered questions.

I have to start writing cover letters this week. Self-promotion on paper addressed to "To Whom It May Concern" isn't my favorite thing. Maybe I'll just use blog entries and hope that they don't actually read cover letters.

Alejandro.

Back in the USSR?

Back in Boston for the summer. I'm excited for the summer, but I'm also a little sad to leave DC. It really grew on me there at the end. I've grown accustomed to it in some ways and developed some good routines. It also didn't hurt that I was done with school for a few days. Nothing like removing all the pressure to make you appreciate something. If you were watching Rocky IV while getting kicked in the testicles constantly and then the testicle kicks were removed, you would even learn to like Rocky IV. Now I'm not saying DC is anywhere as bad as that movie, but it helps to be done with the year of school. Of course there's also the psychoanalytic part which says I am prohibiting myself from being happy where I am. Uh oh. Time to get a better paid psychoanalyst. But there are certain joys to being in Boston. Dirty water (literally, last week). Red Sox (don't get me started). Friends, cats, cars, no constant sound of sirens outside my window.

Of course most of my friends have...you know...things to do. Like school stuff or work. I, on the other hand, do not. And it's really freaking weird. I have nothing I really need to do right now. I got a haircut, I needed to do that. But I can't go back tomorrow and do it again. Particularly after the abuse that was finals and the constant grind of school, I feel quite unproductive. I need a project. Maybe I'll write a book report on "The Giver." Or make a diorama of "General Sherman Burning Atlanta and Torturing Innocents during the War of Northern Aggression." (Maybe I've been below the Mason-Dixon line too long.)
In an effort to begin a routine (also, I can't buy toothpaste at CVS everyday, that would end poorly) I biked to the gym and back today, while stopping to work out a little. Google Maps tells me it is 6 miles each way. Sounds intense? It wasn't too bad actually, though I never thought I would actually make it the entire way. I brought my cell phone in case I had to call a cab. Or someone needed to call my house to make funeral arrangements because I had either been hit by a car or I collapsed due to strain. Well, now my butt hurts from the bike seat (yes, there are easy jokes to make...but let's move beyond them) and it hurts my legs to walk down stairs. I'd call that a success for the day. I'm going to try to keep this up. If my knee doesn't explode this summer I will be surprised.

Jonah just reminded me: the Nationals are doing well! Who would have seen that coming? I may well look back on this in September and laugh and laugh.

I am trying to understand this Goldman-Sachs thing. And one major question I have: What is a derivative?? Everyone talks and writes about them, but no one cares to explain. We weren't all econ majors and business school grades. It's not helpful to tell me they are a financial instrument. A trombone for sale is a financial instrument. What exactly is a derivative? Will some reporter or someone please summarize what is going on in terms that a person who is not in finance can understand?

Now You Are Older

Since no one could decide what they were actually going to do for St. Patrick's Day, I decided to throw a party and nail down my own plans. I'm a man of action. You get some interesting looks carrying three cases of beer down the street, as I found out. You also get a sharp pain in your arms. The party started after my mock moot court. Yes, a mock moot. It is a fake run through of a fake appellate argument. You don't get much closer to being a fake human being than doing a mock moot. Thanks, law school. Anyways, back to the party. At the beginning I was kind of running around making sure everything was set up. Had to update my dying iPod, get speakers, etc. I also had to eat dinner, because beginning the night on an empty stomach would have been ingredient one in a recipe for a huge disaster. Around 9 people started trickling in and it worked out nicely. All told there were probably 20-30 people who came and went. We went through all the Guinness and all the Baileys (often used in conjunction). And other things as well - whiskey, wine, Goldschlagger (not very Irish, tsk tsk). A lot of people said they had a good time, that's a good indication. I certainly had a good time. Anat was very accommodating and had fun as well. Some neighbor, however, was not as thrilled. At 11:30 we get a loud banging on the door. "Alright, now it's 11:30, time to turn it down. That's enough." Alright guy, you got it. Turned the music down, didn't even bother to hush people . No further problems. Another good sign...until I get evicted tomorrow, that would be poor.
The evening included singing Dropkick Murphys songs, car bombs, discussing Magic Cards, and other St. Patty's Day traditions. I was informed this morning by Stephanie that I threatened to kill a lot of people last night. That sounds like something I'd do.
The night ended, as all good nights in Dupont do, with going to get jumbo slice at Alberto's. Nothing is better than watching a large, steaming pizza be taken out of the oven, cut into 4 slices, and being handed one of those slices. Mmmm delicious quarter of a pizza, you make me so happy. Anthony had two (codename: half a pizza). That probably sat well in the ol' stomach.

I may have gotten a little carried away in the spirit of the evening, however, and this morning I was not feeling my prettiest. But I did receive what I am dubbing the Text Message of the Week from Keara: "I am at work...still drunk. Victory!" sent at 9:06 AM. Excellent.
I also got a call from Emma, who I called last night. Emma told me that I left her a voicemail. I wanted to talk about something with her, but I knew that I wouldn't remember what I wanted to talk about so I told her to tell me to look at my facebook messages. I left myself a clue! I absolutely cannot believe that I had the foresight to leave myself a clue about what I wanted to talk about. That is actually amazing. I win the game.

One incident from last night that I just remembered: Ryan got stuck in my bathroom, honestly I think he was just too drunk to muscle open the door. I had to rescue him and in doing so I hit him with the door. He stumbled backwards a couple steps then just thanked me for getting him out of the bathroom - nothing about hitting him with the door. He proceeded to forget much of the evening. Then Notre Dame lost today and he proceeded to lose his mind.

Earlier this week I went to Boston Sunday to Tuesday. It was for a job interview on Tuesday, but I made the executive decision to skip the extra 2 classes on Monday to get to spend some time in Boston. Civ Pro and Con Law can wait. I played with lots of people, which was excellent. Nothing better than getting off the plane, eating at my favorite Chinese food restaurant, and then getting coffee with Shakedface. Of course it was raining all Sunday and Monday and after dinner with Shaked, Ron, Braver, and Yael on Sunday I had to go home to literally help my mom bail out our basement. After an hour or two my mom realized it probably wasn't going to help much more. We ended up with at least 6 inches of water in the basement. I think a replica Noah's Arc was floating around. I thought about buying some scuba gear. We called the fire department when there was only 3 inches of water and were informed that they wouldn't come until there was 6 inches. Also, we were around #150 on the list to be bailed out by the fire department. Tax money going to a good use!
Sunday night I also went with Shaked to briefly see some superstars including Ethan, Kuss, Ben, Keara, and Foxy Matt Brown who deserves special mention for speaking highly of this very blog.
Monday night Ron, Shaked, Ethan, Erica, and Chris (Erica and Chris also get special mention for talking about the blog) came to play and endured my necessarily being distracted by a fantasy draft. I'm not proud of being distracted...but I am proud of the team I drafted, so that's some solace.
Might I reinforce how great it was to see everyone who I saw? Yes, I might. And there, I just did. It was a rhetorical question, why did I answer? I don't know, I just did. There, another rhetorical question that I answered. I have to stop doing that - answering my own questions that do not necessitate answers. Gross. This is like not being able to understand my own sarcasm.
Tuesday was a day of sunshine and the interview. The interview went well, and hopefully that works out. But of course the day the sun comes out I went back to DC. Sad face. Back to the land of fame, excess, am I gonna fit in? Yes, yes you are, Miley. Because the next day was St. Patrick's Day which was a hoot and a holler. For a full description, begin this post over again.

Semester: Take 2

Today was the first day of classes of the second semester. I'm actually excited for Constitutional Law. The professor is a visiting faculty member from Duke. He has a Ph.D. in Theology and a southern accent. A number of my classmates said he was difficult to understand. I think they are being elitists and need to open themselves up to respecting different types of people. When pressed their complaint was actually that he speaks too softly. I have no adequate retort. Maybe listen harder? Grow bigger ears? The professor also insists that we not use computers during class. It's going to be hard to gchat without a computer. I'm actually a fan of this policy. It's going to force me to pay attention to a subject that I'm interested in. As weird as it sounds, there was actually a chance I wouldn't do that. The perils of law school.

Another peril of law school will be going to my LRW class tomorrow (now formally called "Introduction to Advocacy," which makes it sound like I don't know how to advocate a position - if you know me, then you know this is not true. I am an excellent advocate of anger, refer to the following). The peril in going to the class mostly entails sitting quietly, feigning interest rather than throwing the projector through the white board and attempting to incite violent overthrow of my professor's tyrannical rule. Seriously, he sucks. The class is the one thing in his life he has control over; he certainly doesn't have control over his work or personal life what with being a fifth year associate. It's all he has man. Please, take out the fact that you are at the whim of your managing partner 24 hours a day on a class of first year law students, that would be great.

There are a ton of things that happened over break. Too many to recount all of them. But Mostly I saw a ton of people, which was really nice. I'm not sure if there was any day that I only hung out with one person. And even with that I still did not get to see everyone I wanted to see, or see some people (if not everyone) as much as I would have liked.

New Years Eve was spent in Boston. Me, Jonah, Jessie, Caitlin, Molly, and Eli got a hotel room. Other people, including BDP (yay) and Nelson (boo...big time) came by. I have no idea how everyone got there. The hotel was in the South End, where, despite being from Boston, I have spent barely any time. Plus driving on New Years Eve isn't exactly the greatest idea. We slightly trashed the hotel room. Molly spilled something gross on the closet door, Jonah almost jammed the window, someone almost broke the bathtub, etc. The next morning there was a good deal to clean up - mostly taken care of by me and Caitlin. After pregaming at the hotel, we went to a club nearby. (Sidenote: I hate clubs. They are sketchy, expensive, and loud. Any place that date rape seems prevalent I just can't get behind. The club was clearly the girls idea. Something along the lines of needing to dance. I've never said "I just need to dance" in my life.) The club was close, and we were all a little warm on the inside, so we wisely did not bring our coats on the way to the club. It was late December (and then early January) in Boston, so it was clearly freezing. The five minute walk included getting slightly lost, so that was bad enough. Then we picked up our pre-ordered tickets from the bouncer and were told to wait on line to get in. Wait on line?? We have tickets! So did everyone else in line, it turned out. We were probably on line for a solid seven minutes, but that was seven minutes of awfulness. Why didn't we bring our coats again? Oh right, because we are idiots. By the time we got to the front of the line I had never been happier to get into a club. Of course that faded quickly when I had to save Jessie from sketchy guys three times in the first five minutes. What do you expect? Clubs suck.

Another highlight of break involved getting Matt Brown drunk. If I had a super power, it would be the power of peer pressure. And I certainly used it on Saturday night against Matt Brown. The best part was that it was planned out with Keara and Matt Francis beforehand, and then executed perfectly. In fairness, I am not the one who brought out the bottle of tequila. The fact that it was tequila was just an added bonus. But techniques such as bringing a lime and salt for easy use worked perfectly. I hope Matt Brown had a good time. We did sing songs for him! (Matt Brown, you don't have to put on the red light.) And we got some choice quotes. ("There are only so many nights in a day.") Leah laughed until she cried when Matt Brown fell off a chair. Whoopsies. We also spent a lot of time singing that Miley Cyrus song...again. But now, after hearing it enough times, I sort of know the words. That's a little embarrassing, but not more than her (or, to be more accurate, whoever wrote the song for her) attempt to rhyme "crazy" with "famous" or the line "the butterflies fly away." I've mentioned how dumb that line is to a lot of people and just about every girl has responded, "You know, like the butterflies in her stomach." Yes, I know. But it doesn't make that a better lyric.

Dear Santa

Here it is: Christmas day. Despite having a chimney, I still received nothing from Santa. Why Santa? Oh, because I'm a heathen. I forgot. That's fine, you have little-to-nothing to do with Christianity anyways. We'll call it a draw. Christmas day basically means that I don't get presents, I don't have much to do, and I go out to dinner with my mom at a family friend's house. Eh, I'm fine with it. I'm more excited for tomorrow when everything that didn't get bought in the pre-Christmas present rush goes on sale. Yeah, tomorrow is my time to do gift shopping. There's no reason to abide by a strict December 25th deadline.

A couple of nights ago I went to see some comedy with Ron and Shaked. The highlight joke of the night was probably "Once I was the youngest baby in the world." And then later, "My son was the youngest baby in the world too. I think it runs in the family." That night was also absolutely freezing. Welcome back to Boston. I'm not complaining, I know it happens. But my feet were freezing the entire comedy show. It could have had something to do with the fact that we were in the attic of a Chinese food restaurant and it was about ten degrees outside. Yesterday was about 30; it was practically beach weather.

I think I need to buy long underwear or something. But the concept of it is so unappealing. Who wears it? I have no idea how prevalent it is. But I do have an idea that its weird, but warm. We may find ourselves at an impasse. Classic comfort vs. style problem.

I love driving, particularly after not having a car in DC. But I'm worried I've gone soft a little. Shaked commented to me that I've lost some edge to it. I'd like to blame it on me being tired (which I am and was), but I have a fear of losing my Bostonian driving abilities. It is something I pride myself on. I require that ability to sniff out weakness on the road, to exploit someone's momentary hesitation, to cut off a BMW because I know they are more afraid of damaging their car than I am of damaging mine. Man, I really want a car. Though preferably one that doesn't make crazy noises, take forever to heat up, and have no air conditioning this time, unlike my old car.

Dear Earth,
Can you please adjust your rotation so that the day includes daylight. If I could get to see more than 3 hours of natural light a day, that would be much appreciated. Thanks.
Sincerely,
My longitude and latitude

Bull

So that wasn't the best trip to Boston that ever happened. But this is not the forum for talking about problems (that's livejournal). This is the forum for recounting hilarity and voicing pointless opinions. And in the past week there have certainly been opportunities for hilarity and opinions. Good thing.

The most notable ridiculous thing was going out for Erica's 21st birthday to a club in Boston. A bunch of people (Erica, Chris, Scott, Karishma, Dana, Dave, etc.) took the shuttle into Boston from Waltham. By the time we got off the shuttle everyone had to pee pretty badly. The boys were complaining a little louder than the girls about it, and the girls (mostly Erica) told us not to cry so much. You try having a prostate! I considered peeing in an ally and did not do so; in retrospect that was a poor decision. We walked from the shuttle stop to the T, took the T (everyone except Scott and I almost didn't make it off the T for lack of paying attention), and walked to the club. By this time there was no more being called a wussy for having to pee really badly. Everyone had to. We ran/wadled into Dunkin Donuts. They always have bathrooms! False. Employees only. Across the street, Starbucks has bathrooms! Employees only. Well that did it. We got to the club slightly before I exploded with urine. A couple of people didn't make it past the bouncer (for bad, yet legal reasons). I couldn't wait to see how the situation would resolve itself. I ran to the bathroom. (I'm sure you want to hear this) I would say it was one of the most rewarded pees of my life, but it wasn't. I think I had been holding it in for so long that it went past the point of being rewarding and reaching the stage where it was actually difficult. Gross. The worst part of the bathroom was by far the fact that this club employed a guy to hand out paper towels. So this guy's job is to stand there, watch me pee, offer me a paper towel (because it's usually really hard to get those for yourself), and hope for a tip. A tip for paper towel guy after I paid a cover at the door? I don't think so.

Now I don't like clubs very much in general. Anyplace where the music is too loud to have a conversation with someone, the drinks are expensive yet served in plastic cups, and the DJ combines Rihanna and AC/DC and everyone loves it is not particularly for me. Clubs just kinda scream date rape. But getting beyond my regular skepticism, the best part of this club was easily the mechanical bull. A vehicle for attention and embarassment. It was pretty clearly meant for girls; every guy who went on lasted about 4 seconds while girls lasted closer to 4 minutes. One girl had the right idea, she wore under armor shorts. Another girl had the wrong idea, she refused to let go of the bull even after her dress simultaneously rode up and came down. She actually asked the guy running the bull to stop it for a second so she could fix her dress, apparently thinking that the exact same thing wouldn't happen when the bull started up again. She was wrong. Mercifully she fell off. Not to be deterred she was dancing on one of the polls soon after (a classic case of high self-esteem).

I ended up re-living the glory days, in the way that I was up until 4 am that night/morning. I didn't know I still had that in me. At least I, unlike some other people, didn't wake up and start drinking again. Of course I did wake up pretty early comparitively and go with Chris to Dunkin Donuts and to reclaim Dana's car. I got to drive her car back to Erica's house. It was a BMW. No big deal. Easily the nicest car I have driven. It had all these newfangled features like 'power windows' and 'automatic locks.' What is all that mumbo jumbo? My car never had that. Half way through the drive in the BMW I got cut off by some guy pulling out of a parking space who immediately pulled into a different parking space 3 cars down. Right after that some guy turning left tried to cut me off. That's when I remembered I was driving a good car and am from Boston. I stepped on the gas and cut him off in his attempt to cut me off. Take that, jerkface. In retrospect it wasn't that exciting or novel a move. It was also a little reckless given that I was driving someone else's Beamer. But it's the one move that I pulled while driving a sweet car, so I felt pretty good about it. Big man on campus. Look out.

Shaked and I went to the craziest book store in Brighton. There is some ambiguity in how that sentence can be interpreted, so let me clear it up. The first interpretation of is that I went to the craziest book store in all of Brighten, or Brighton's craziest book store. The second is that I went to the craziest book store and it happened to be in Brighton. Both interpretations are valid, and I mean both. Why point out the ambiguity then, you may ask. Good question. This book store literally looks like someone's attic. It's cramped and full of used books and records. And there is absolutely no discernable order to how they are shelved. We found two copies of the same Hemingway book in completely separate places. Every book's spine seems to be breaking. If there aren't significant creases in the book it's not allowed in the shop. It was a lot of fun poking around to see if there were any golden finds in the stacks of useless aged books. I almost bought a copy of Voltaire, but changed my mind. Sometime when I have more time I'm going back there.

No more...Mr. Nice Guy

I'm pretty sure there is no more studying I can do for this midterm that will be productive. I had a review session today; I went over a practice midterm with a few classmates; I reviewed all my notes again. Was any of that helpful? Probably. But not definitely. So no more. I'm worried that I'm not worried about the test. Is that worrisome? Who cares? Let's do this.

"Fly, you fools."

Ok, tomorrow I'm flying to Boston. Woohoo. Sometimes I love capitalism. Usually when there is a good deal of competition which is driving down prices (so not in reference to the current health insurance system in this country), like in the airline industry at least between Washington and Boston. Southwest, Jet Blue, and (God help us) Air Tran are all competing. Which makes my tickets cheaper! Air Tran is the crappiest airline I've ever had the displeasure of flying on, and as such I refuse to give them my patronage. Granted I flew on it when it was first getting started and was figuring its stuff out, but my flight attendants referred to themselves as "The J Team" because they were three women whose names all started with J. Fantastic. Give me my peanuts and shut up. (I was in no mood for their shenanigans at the time of that flight. Nakul knows.)

My biggest problem with watching postseason baseball or Sunday football is definitely the commercials. I have seen the same Viagra commercial three dozen times, and I'm still not anywhere nearer to using their product. That has a lot to do with my age, however. Also the Blackberry commercial that has "All You Need Is Love" in the background and has nothing to do with phones? It's driving me crazy. I now dislike that song, thanks Blackberry, I'll remember that favor when I consider purchasing your product.

We got our Memo 1 grades back today. I did fine I think, but that's not the point. The point is that Gunner is not a somehow brilliant, just socially retarded, kid. He's just a regular socially retarded kid, who is also plain bad at academics. The only reason I know is that Gunner told someone his grade and asked to see the other kid's paper because he felt the professor had "discriminated" against him in grading. Our papers were graded blindly and did not have our names on them. Yes, your memo was discriminated against in grading because it was bad. But apparently he can't keep his outrage to himself. He's gotta share it with everyone. Too bad no one cares. I almost feel bad for him. If he didn't speak in class for 3 days I would be willing to give a bit of sympathy. Deal, or no deal? Of course it is no surprise that he can't keep his grade to himself because he can't keep all of the dumb ideas he has in class to himself. Wow, vitriol much? Apparently.

Shippin' Up

Friday to early today (Monday) was spent in Boston. And it was glorious. It was great to see everyone. Erika, Shaked, Robin, Jordan, and lots of other people.

Friday I'm done with class at noon, so I got an early start to my trip. I got to BWI around 2:30 for a flight that began boarding at 4:15. Good thing I brought some work to do. I sat in a restaurant, ordered a beer, and spread out the 12 cases I had printed out earlier that morning. Yes, it was Memo 2 time. I got a lot of work done in that Mexican-themed airport restaurant. But what really made the experience was the guy who sat down next to me. This guy kind of looked like Barney Frank, but he wasn't quite as heavy and didn't have the accent. Also, he wasn't my congressman. He looked like the quintessential business traveler with a ruffled suit and worn briefcase. He sat down next to me and gave me a nod. I kind of nodded back and look at the case I'm reading. I'm pretty sure he was a lawyer and recognized what I was doing because he said, "Make it easier on yourself, get a drink." I laughed and showed him my beer glass, then turned back to my case. The waitress came up and he ordered a Jack Daniels. "Would you like to make it a double for only two dollars more?" "Oh yes." I kept doing my work and peeked over at his drink two minutes after it came. It was gone. The waitress came back over and he ordered another one. When it came he started draining it. I look at him and say, "Friday, huh?" He says, "No. Everyday." Well then. He seems satisfied with life.

Saturday I hung out with Shaked. We went to Natick so that I could procure a birthday gift for my mom. I got her a Snuggie. You know, the blanket with sleeves so you can wear it. Laugh if you'd like, and I admit, I had strong reservations about buying one. But in the middle of winter when my mom is warm and cozy in her Snuggie and you are wrapping yourself in 12 sweatshirts and 3 blankets we'll reexamine the situation. I think my biggest problems with the Snuggie are (1) that it an "As Seen on TV" thing, which immediately makes it suspect to being a scam somehow, and (2) that it comes in 3 colors-blue, pink, and leopard print. The first issue I got over, the second one was a no-brainer. Gotta go with the blue. I think I would die if anyone I know ever wore a leopard print Snuggie. As Shaked pointed out, the woman who posed in that Snuggie ad that comes on the box must have felt like a complete idiot in her leopard print. Grinning from ear to ear like a complete fool.

We eventually ended up at Marshalls in Newton, waiting to meet Ron for lunch at Fresh City. I had just found a Red Sox jersey/shirt that was really cheap when all of the sudden the fire alarm went off. After 3 minutes a manager came and made us all evacuate, along with all the other stores on the row. We met up with Ron in front of Fresh City (also experiencing the fire alarm) and watched about 6 people try to go in while the alarm was still on. Idiots. The best of these was a couple who were the biggest pieces of Eurotrash I've ever seen. The girl looked relatively normal (her jeans were really trendy, but also sparkly in a trashy way), but the guy looked like a cross between a punk rocker and the Wicked Witch of the West. He had longish hair, carefully messed up, a nose piercing, light eye makeup, and boots that got really pointy about 5 inches beyond where his toe could have been (witch boots). Eventually we all got inside the restaurant and ate. But I had an awkward incident with Mr. Eurotrash in the bathroom. It is a single bathroom. There's a lock on the door for your convenience and so that you don't get interrupted. If you are utilizing the facilities, please lock the door. I opened the unlocked door, thinking there was no one in the bathroom, only to find Mr. Eurotrash delicately applying lip gloss in the mirror. What?? Get out of here and let me pee. It was so awkward. I didn't know what to do. Luckily he was finished with his lip gloss by the time I had to wash my hands, so there was no dispute over the sink. But next time close the door when you put on your lip gloss!!

Saw a lot of people Saturday night. Matt "Foxy" Brown, Leah, Keara, Ben, Sam, Erik, Kuss, maybe another person or two. I was declared a Star Wars nerd, reaffirming everything I already knew about myself. Luckily Matt Brown out-nerded me about Lord of the Rings. Also, I got to talk about "Dr. Stevens" and the antidote. It's not really a story for here.

Sunday: A Quick Rundown
Breakfast at Allston Cafe with Erika, Robin, and Jordan: Hot as hell, with (according to the girls) people doing drugs in the bathroom.
French toast: quality.
Harvard Square: Missing from my life.
Starbucks taste test between instant coffee and brewed coffee: Failed
Actually failed?: I think they messed with the taste test
Coffee: Awesome, addictive?
The Informant with Ron, Yael, and Shaked: Not what I was expecting, also not great 6/10
The Green Line: Late due to a "police action" (??)
Bananagrams with Robin and Jordan: I love spelling!
Gone Baby Gone: Only got the first 30 minutes, looking good. Jordan says it was fantastic.
Boston accents in that movie: Aw yeah!
Anna's Taqueria for dinner: All I need in life.
Visit to Boston: Priceless

Then I woke up at 4:30 this morning and took the following methods of transportation back to Washington. Taxi, plane, bus, commuter train, metro, feet. I made it to my 11 am class. Barely. And I am exhausted! So sorry if this isn't the most coherent. That's a lot of transportation for one day.

This afternoon in Civil Procedure, a classmate actually advocated the position that racism might not be bad. My professor asked us if it was ethical to prosecute in a state where there is a lot of jury bias based on race when we have the option of prosecuting in a less bias state. A bunch of people didn't see a problem with it. It's the adversary system after all, and if your case can be helped by racism and it's not illegal to do, then why not? This was a little odd to me - people defending the adversary system without thinking about the moral component. Then this one kid essentially said that some people think racism is a good thing, so who are you (professor) to say that using a racist jury is a bad thing or contrary to the interests of justice. My professor (and I) almost had an aneurysm. For one thing it is unconstitutional. For another, we are all educated people, can't we have a consensus that racism is bad? Apparently not. That was basically my professor's reaction. Mine was more along the lines of "What the hell? Did you just say 'justice' and 'racism isn't that bad' in the same sentence? I think you did. I also think you need to take that foot out of your mouth and start walking that back immediately." Racism is bad. Hatred of certain groups isn't necessarily. For example I hate stupid people, like the person who just told me racism isn't bad.