Another One In the Books

2L is done. Done done done. Assuming I did not fail my Tax final, which is not an assumption I am fully comfortable with. That final was difficult. Maybe not Civ Pro I difficult, but I would give it an 8. 70 multiple choice questions: +2 for correct answers and -1 for incorrect answers. Yeah, I left a few blank. It's only worth it to guess if you have it down to 2 choices, right? I would say I was guessing between two for somewhere around 30 of the questions. So this was a serious exam. I hope I had a good guessing day. (Alright, I generally had a hunch of which was correct between the two answers, but I was not confident on a lot of questions because the professor wrote them to be intentionally tricky).
Going into the test, I was expecting to get rolling on a few questions before coming up against a toughy. Wrong. Question #1 I spent about 5 minutes on and had to come back to. The exam came out throwing punches. The only respite was a series of questions around #60 that were a bit easier (I felt, I am assuming nothing). But by that time it was quite easy to run out of steam, making the questions harder. The federal income tax is not joking around - it is rough.

Two night ago I had Crim Pro dreams. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking in the paradigm of Criminal Procedure. Everything had to be analyzed under either the 4th, 5th, or 6th Amendment. Of course, I was thinking about completely unrelated things, so this made no sense. I spent 2 minutes at 2:30 am trying to figure out whether my morning run would be a constitutional violation. It was completely bogus. My subconscious is a moron.

Did I mention that I am done? I sat at my desk and had no studying to do. (Oh wait, I do have a substantiation assignment for journal. Shhhh! Don't ruin my moment.) I caught up on some tv shows, I got a haircut, and I will soon attend a "seder" at Damien's.

Haircuts at Diego's have completely changed how I view haircuts. In a good way.

Reflections on the Semester:
Criminal Procedure - I more or less know someone's rights when they are arrested. In close calls, the police are going to win. Even in not close calls, the police will probably win. So if you are arrested, tell the police you would like to assert your right to silence and then shut up. (Yes, you must actually tell them you want to be silent. If that makes no sense, you can blame Justice Kennedy.) Also, if you are arrested in a car, you have almost no rights. However, Jay-Z was correct about the trunk: "You gonna need a warrant for that." Unless they have probable cause. Then they don't need a warrant.
Federal Income Tax - the tax system is complicated out of necessity. The tax code is long because it has a lot of loopholes to close. Tax policy is actually fairly interesting, and affects literally everything. A dinner that your company gives you might be included in your income. It is certainly Haig-Simons income (an econ thing - don't ask, Wikipedia). All in all, I think I can probably do the 1040 EZ form next year.
Law of Democracy - gerrymandering, redistricting, voting rights, and contributions are complicated. Think long and hard about them, there are upsides and downsides to any decision. Citizens United is pretty much garbage. Bush v. Gore is absolutely garbage. The Supreme Court justices involved will tell you just to get over it; I think they should get over themselves.
Lawyers, Lobbying, and the Law - bah. Joke. Waste. There is a constitutional right to lobby, get over it. And Madison knew how to right a Federalist Paper (14, in particular).

No More Pencils

Today was the last day of classes of 2L. Goodnight 2L, goodnight Crim Pro, goodnight cow jumping over the tax code. Of course there are still finals between me and the summer. Three finals, to be exact. And I do not feel good about how far I am studying for them. I have one and a half outlines done out of three. Time to buckle down. I will be out of commission for the next couple of weeks, but I will emerge (hopefully victorious) on Friday the 22nd.

This past weekend I was in Boston for improv. The alumni show itself was a lot of fun, and although I was only in one game, it was a little nerve-wracking because I have not performed in front of that many people for a long time. But the group was quite good, and the alumni also pulled out some laughs. Overall, a very triumphant return, though I did feel weird and old being back at college.
After the show is the after party.
It was quite enjoyable to be back at a college party with tons of people I love and miss. There was peer pressure, dancing, yelling, petting a cat, and "meaningful" conversations. It was pretty fantastic. Great to see (in no particular order) Matt, Erica, Celia, Ethan, Ben, Ben, Leah, Zac, Sheryl, and all of the current group. (I am super excited to hear that Ryan will be coming to DC for law school next year!) Shout out to Erica and Talya for saving me. Also, to whoever stole my whiskey and possibly my undershirt, you receive a shake of my fist. Those are the good times I miss.

The next day I went around Boston with Shaked, Ron, and Matt. We went to Ron's brother's coworker's fundraiser at the Kinsale. If you think that sounds like an attenuated connection, you would be correct. I bought a Pepsi (the establishment does not sell Diet Coke), ate an appetizer or two, and then we all left. I may have used the restroom in there. The rest of the time was less awkward - walking around the Common and going to Mike's Pastry. The line was more impressive than the cannoli! Ok, fine, I didn't get a pastry. A park ranger (?) on the Common refused to take our picture. We asked politely and he was like "No time! I have to stop these hooligans from throwing around a football." Also, there was a guy walking around in a Flash costume that was falling apart. You don't see that every day.
Later that evening, Matt got in trouble at Grendel's Den for bringing in a bubble tea. He eventually won over the waitress with a huge tip, but who is the real winner in that situation?

My steak of hearing Train's "Hey Soul Sister" in the car with Shaked remains unbroken after this trip.
Congratulations to Matt for deciding to stay in Chicago and being a beast in Ph.D. applications generally. I hope he remembers the little people when he wins a Nobel. I've always wanted to go to Switzerland. Just saying, Matt.

Outrage Alert!
"Sen. Jon Kyl's claim that abortion is "well over 90% of what Planned Parenthood does.

When the actual figure turned out to be 3%, his office released a statement clarifying that Kyl's figure was "not intended to be a factual statement."

This is basically why I cannot stand Republicans. It is clear instance of getting caught in a lie and then saying something absurd to get out of it. You cannot make declarative statements on the Senate floor and then defend yourself by saying that the seemingly factual statement was not meant to be a fact. That completely undermines the manner in which we typically communicate while simultaneously defying logic. It is about as typical a "sleezy politician" thing as you can get. And I am constantly amazed at the ability of politicians (largely Republicans) to completely ignore rationality, truth, and decency.

Many thanks to Stephen Colbert for posting similar "facts" about Senator Kyl on Twitter with the hashtag (that's a thing apparently) #notafactualstatement.

Jon Kyl developed his own line of hair care products just so he could test them on bunnies.

Jon Kyl can, and will, deny that you're a jolly good fellow.

For the past ten years, Jon Kyl has been two children in a very convincing Jon Kyl suit.

Jon Kyl calls the underside of his Senate seat: "The Booger Graveyard."

Take that!