I have been slacking on the updates hardcore. But it is my brief summer before work, so give me a break. I am in Boston for the week. I spent yesterday (Mothers' Day) with my mom. I had been traveling and had not yet procured a gift, so I warned her that I would need an hour with the car on Sunday before I could commence with official Mothers' Day ceremonies. After half an hour of sweating it out at Crate & Barrel, I remembered something she said she wanted: kitchen shears. I also got her a nice cold beverage travel container (something practical) and a set of colored porcelain measuring cups (something cute). I think I did pretty well overall. Could be worse, she could have gotten a macaroni necklace. I think she has received a few of those in my time.
Apparently the stores in the mall opened at noon, so I had to wait around for a bit before getting a gift. I clearly did not get the memo about opening at noon on Sundays. I mean, I know stores open late, but not that late. What about all the poor men out there who lack adequate planning skills and are forced to purchase presents the day of?! What about all the poor women out there who just received lovely flowers but do not have an adequate matching vase to put them in? What about all the people who need to purchase a milk frother for their Sunday brunch? Come on, think about it Crate & Barrel. You are not acting like a store of the people.

Friday I was in Baltimore for Nakul's recital. I thought he did a great job. He sang a nice little song called "If You've Only Got A Moustache," which you should totally check out. Before the recital I walked around the Inner Harbor. I got there on the Circulator, a free bus. It was around 3:30 on Friday afternoon, and there was a good deal of traffic as well as a lot of people on the Circulator. Halfway through the ride, this well-dressed man and two well-dressed women got on. It was pretty clear they had never ridden the Circulator before, and I am not positive that the man had ever taken public transportation before. He was shocked at how crowded the bus was and loudly inquired, "Don't you people have jobs?" When he realized other people could hear him he tried to play it off as a joke, but really he was just a pompous jerk. Later, I wound up next to him and the two women towards the back of the bus. He continued to comment about how long the ride took, how the bus kept stopping, and how he would certainly never use the bus again. Buddy, it's a free bus: you get what you paid for. Additionally, you look like an arrogant buffoon with no idea of how "the commoners" live. If you have such a problem with it, why don't you whip out your wallet and pay for a taxi cab. Or just drive your Rolls Royce to the Inner Harbor.

After Nak's recital, we went out to the Alehouse, where we did not pay for the bar tab. I had some good conversations, Nakul enjoyed the company of his friends, and BDP made hilarious conversation with the waitstaff (who had boyfriends, sadly for him). I must emphasize that none of the "children" (30 and unders at this point, just to be safe), paid the tab. Many of us wandered to another hole in the wall bar, where we imbibed unnecessary, cheap pints, and Stephanie consumed what she imagined to be the last olive in Baltimore (the first bar was out, and this was the last olive at the second bar).

Today I went with my mother to Woodman's, which claims to have invented the fried clam. Alright, they invented it. I don't know why I am skeptical, but I like to think it is a healthy skepticism. It was very New England, and I enjoyed it. I almost bought a small wooden figurine of a sailor from them, but I realized this was an unnecessary trinket, and I could just remind myself that I was a gritty New Englander in my mind. Super gritty. Nothing but true grit up in law school.

I did not fail Tax!

I finished "All the Pretty Horses" last night. That Cormac McCarthy sure knows how to write. Now I get to watch the movie, if only so I can say, "The book was better."

Back to Reality

The Epic Chili Spill occurred Saturday night at Nakul's. We were watching tv for a while, waiting for the chili Nak made to be perfectly ready. Eventually we got hungry enough to venture into the chili. I was super exciting because I had been contemplating eating for the past hour or so. Nakul finally gave the go-ahead, and we put the chili into bowls. Nakul offered me cheese, and I took a slice out. I noticed it had some mold on it, so I threw it out and took another slice. Also mold. Trash. Another slice had minimal mold. I spent a good minute cutting off the mold until the slice of cheese was sufficiently clear for eating purposes. I crumbled it up and put it on my chili, and I was finally ready to take my chili off to the table to eat it when...the combination of the cheese on my fingers and the heat of the bowl resulted in some slippage. And chili went everywhere. I mean everywhere. It went under the table, on the chair, on the table, on the counter, on my clothes, everywhere. I, apparently, let out a string of profanity and dejectedly cleaned up the chili to the best of my ability. I am not feeling so optimistic about getting the chili out of the chair cushion. And I am only hoping that it comes out of my jeans. But this chili spill was epic. It messed up the floor, burnt my arm, and destroyed my dreams all at once.

Road soda - funny name for a not a particularly good idea.

Mostly at Ron's behest, I watched the first two episodes of Man Men this weekend. Maybe it was in honor of the 4th season's premier tonight. In which Don Draper murders twelve men. Just kidding; I have no idea what happens. But Dumbledore dies. Anyways, I'm not sold on it yet. I know a lot of people are all about it, but so far it just doesn't seem like the kind of show to be all about. I'll give it a few more episodes to give it a fair shot. One thing I can't help but think as I watch the show is that I am really glad that prop cigarettes were invented, otherwise the entire cast would have advanced lung cancer.

Very few people know the band "The Band" at least by name. Then people think I'm an idiot. "Do you know the band?" "Which band?" "The band." Not the most helpful.

Work tomorrow should be fun. I get to edit and submit for review my 17 page section of a brief. It's been pretty fun to write, actually. I'm super stoked to get it cut down to 3-5 pages (at least I wouldn't be surprised). In layman's terms all it says is "Stop screwing people. You don't get to make money from doing that. Just stop." Advocacy at its finest.

The movie "Cyrus" was pretty good. Contrary to what some people believe (Erica), it has nothing to do with Miley Cyrus, nor Billy Ray Cyrus. It's a comedy/drama. It is a pretty simple movie, with only 5 characters. It was a nice change from the rest of the summer blockbusters that are going out right now. I mean, it's probably not "Grown Ups" but what is? (Note: I have not seen Grown Ups, though I wouldn't be surprised if it were actually more amusing than it should be. If anyone has more information, please contact me. A reward will be posted.)

Tom Brady is the best damn quarterback...

Missy was in town for maybe 24 hours this weekend. It was nice of her to drop by. She was supposed to come in Friday night, but didn't get here til Saturday night. Her loss. She missed carrot cake martinis. Those were potent, and certainly threw Gavi and Rachel for a loop. Jason held up better. I did pretty well, but the next morning my stomach hurt from the sugar content. I'm assuming it was sugar and not that the eggs I had were expired, since my stomach only hurt for a few hours and I wasn't puking for an entire day. But, for some reason, that was a risk I was willing to take in cooking those eggs. Which was really dumb of me since I have a fresh carton of eggs in the fridge. Why would I risk it? Well, I'm living frugally. Can't waste eggs! Nevermind that eggs probably cost 35 cents each. I saved $1.05 in eggs! Think of the chickens! On second thought, don't. That's not a good thing to think about while you are consuming their potential offspring. Oh damn, now I'm a vegetarian...for the next 15 seconds.

If you are going to stand on the left side of the escalator, don't get testy with me when I pass you on the right. It's only illegal while driving, and we all still do it then. Here's a conundrum: passing really fat people on the escalator. More of a problem than you might think.

Speaking of passing, Tom Brady is currently rolling against the Colts. Woot.

Watching Ocean's 11 for class was fun. A few of us had a little viewing together, complete with food. Two problems.
One, the girls just kept talking about how hot the actors were and not paying attention to the plot. That's fine if you know the plot. But don't go from commenting on George Clooney's hair to asking me how they got the old guy who had a 'heart attack' out of the casino. We just watched that part, pay some damn attention if you want to know. "Wait, what?" Just watch the movie, it's not rocket science. Also, the girls got offended when the two guys there started talking about how Julia Roberts isn't that attractive. Don't get all offended for her; she's rich and famous and she can't even hear what we are saying. It hasn't stopped her career yet, so let us have our opinion particularly while you are commenting on every male actor while disregarding the plot line.
Two, I need to stop eating buffalo wings. They are common, cheap, and delicious. But they are so bad for me and they make my stomach feel like it is the Bastille on July 14, 1789. Later on the Reign of Terror happens. It's all bad news. So I don't know when Lent is, but if it were now and I were Catholic I would give up buffalo wings. As it is, I'm considering starting Buffalo Wings Anonymous. *Gurgle* What's that stomach? You want to kill me? I'm not surprised. Soup and salad time!

No more s'more

No torts midterm. Maybe tomorrow? That's right, my hopes for feedback can be crushed again tomorrow when we get nothing. The excuse is that my professor was rushing to finish an amicus brief for the Supreme Court. Of course he was, Mr. Bigshot. Mr. I-clerked-for-Justice-Scalia. Mr. I'm-actually-an-expert-in-my-field-and-I'm-well-respected-enough-to-have-my-amicus-brief-read. Apparently I'm Mr. Everything-must-be-hyphenated. All I want is feedback! Come on! However, we did finally get to a topic that is interesting in torts: negligence per se. Sounds thrilling, eh? Oh, you know it is.

No Crim Law tomorrow. Instead we have to watch Ocean's 11. We, apparently, will be using it as the basis for discussing criminal conspiracy for the rest of the semester. What I'm getting from this is my Crim Law professor likes movies and doesn't want to teach us anymore. I'm fine with it. I'll take watching a baller movie over sitting in class reciting the lyrics to "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah" in my head. Speaking of songs, I've had that damn Miley Cyrus song, "Party in the USA," or whatever, stuck in my head all day. I just woke up with it there. The problem is that I've only heard the song about three times in my life and don't really know the melody, rhythm, lyrics, or anything else about the song. I just know that one line from the chorus which keeps replaying in my head. And I have too much pride to go listen to it online in an attempt to get it out of my head.

Last night five of us went to go get free s'mores at a happy hour in Georgetown. Too bad when they advertise free s'mores for happy hour what they mean is free s'mores between 6 and 6:20, meanwhile the cheapest drink you can buy is $6.25. On the other side of that spectrum, the most expensive drink you can buy there is $200 for Louis XIV. Well then, I don't think we'll be doing that any time soon. I'll take half-priced appetizers over that any day of the week...specifically yesterday, which I did in fact take...into my stomach. It wasn't free s'mores, but it wasn't bad. Damn deceptive advertising. I didn't even want the s'mores that much, but I built up an anticipation for them which hasn't been satisfied. So sometime soon I'm going to have to eat s'mores. What do you think the easiest way to do that? Buy graham crackers and chocolate, build a campfire in the middle of Lafayette Park, and roast marshmallows? Maybe I'll invite the uniform Secret Service agents who are standing around and ask them if they know any good ghost stories. I'm kind of picturing "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" with the Secret Service.

Subsequently Version 2.0

Oh goodness. It seems like every time I have my Legal Research class (every Wednesday) I have a new problem with my Dean's Fellow. You know, the one who can't pronounce "subsequently" the correct way? Well today it wasn't about that word. She didn't even use that word. We've moved on to a whole new word that she can't say for some bizarre reason. Treatise. Seems pretty simple right? Treat-is (kinda). Well, it's certainly not how she says it: "Treaty." Remember that time that treaty was a different word than treatise? I do. It's all the time. They are spelled differently, mean different things, and are pronounced differently. Or they should be pronounced differently. They were today. And there is no excuse. She said it 3 times while the word "treatise" was up on the powerpoint. Come on! I have no idea what her problem is. She missed the day in 4th grade where the rest of us learned how to pronounce words without sounding like retards? I don't remember that exact lesson plan, but I still know how to pronounce these fairly basic words correctly. It's not even like treatise could be read as 'treaty.' This makes no sense! I did actually try to correct her today. The first time she said "treaty" I looked around to see if anyone else heard it. Apparently no one did (or, more likely, no one was paying attention-I know the guy next to me was checking his fantasy football team; I was checking my fantasy baseball team). The second time she mispronounced it I said "treatise?" discreetly. I was trying to correct her politely. I expected her to say, "Yeah, sorry, that's what I meant, treatise." But she just kept on going, and mispronounced it again. Maybe she didn't hear me. Maybe she didn't understand. But at least I tried. But she's definitely screwed once she gets a job. Sooner or later she is going to mispronounce a commonplace word and everyone is going to tease her mercilessly. Then fire her.

During lunch today I was browsing BDP's facebook info and came across a hilarious Star Wars related quote. I let him know it brightened my day. But it put me in a Star Wars mood. I let my (not so) inner nerd out and discussed Star Wars with some of my classmates who were trying to study. No time for studying. Only talking about Star Wars with me! I came up with a couple of situations where I want to see what would happen:

What would happen if I get cold called in a class and I just look my professor in the eye and say "These are not the droids you are looking for"? What would happen? Would I have to answer the question? Would I get a response?

What if I came to class dressed as an Imperial Stormtrooper? Nothing else weird, acting normally. Just full uniform, helmet, blaster and everything. Could I stay?

What if I went to the White House dressed as an Imperial Stormtrooper and stood guard as if I were in the Secret Service? What do you think the actual Secret Service would do? Even better, if I were President I would make my Secret Service agents dress up as stormtroopers for Halloween. They would love it.

My Star Wars mood gradually moved towards the Cantina song. I played it a few times and managed to get it stuck in everyone's head for the duration of LRW. I'd say that was a success. That song is actually ridiculous. It is preposterously repetitive and addictive. It would be a really bad ring tone...

Michael Moore...not sure how I feel about his new movie. Mostly because I haven't seen it. But what I really mean is I'm not sure if I want to see it. I have a soft spot for him. I know he's a whack-job. But I like "Bowling for Columbine." Yes, he uses crappy ambush techniques. And he's an egomaniac. And Fahrenheit 9/11 is (more than) a little crazy. But for some reason I am interested in what he has to say. It might be the liberal counterpart to why I sometimes watch Fox News. It's part masochism, part interest. I generally agree with Moore's point. Just everything else is a little crappy. From the trailer, Moore showing up on Wall St. with a bull horn attempting to make a citizens arrest is exactly the kind of crap I am talking about. Why you gotta be that guy, Michael Moore? Why do you have to pull douchey stunts to prove your point? Can't you just interview legit people, keep your face off the screen, and make your point without pissing off 9/10ths of America? Apparently not. But I kinda want to see what he's on about this time.

The other movie I can't decide if I want to see is "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell," the Tucker Max movie. I like the book, but it's the kind of stuff I'm not sure will translate well onto the screen. Scratch that. It definitely will not translate well. It's going to be a fratty movie, but I like Tucker Max. Hrmm. Anyone seen it? Advice?

Movie clips

There is something to be said for using movie clips in class. It's a fun way to learn. But I think the last time I remember using a movie clip in class for a legitimate reason was in high school. And the word legitimate is pushing it. Yet my Criminal Law professor effectively used movie clips to help us learn. Another way law school = high school. We are learning about homicide. We watched about five minutes of Goodfellas, during which three homicides or potential homicides took place. That's pretty light for that particular movie. My professor asked us to use the fact patterns from the clips to determine whether they should be charged for murder or manslaughter and what degree they should be charged with. We all had a good time convicting movie stars of murder and arguing about premeditation, malice aforethought and all types of Law and Order words. The entire time we had two potential students sitting in on class. They must have been thinking "This is awesome!" I would love for them to sit in on a Contracts class and hear their inner monologue after that. Probably more along the lines of "I wonder if I would be enjoying life more at the moment if I stabbed myself in the hand with a pen."

Today I went to my Torts professor's office hours. He talked to me about how he found a mistake in the transcription of one of Thomas Jefferson's letters which changed the meaning, and that this particular sentece was important in the history of patent law. Hey man, whatever gets your going in the morning. I just went to talk with him in general about torts, but somehow it came out that I disagree with about 60% of the decisions we read. He was astounded. I probably shouldn't have said that. He's probably not prone to liking me as it is (read: he clerked for Justices Scalia and Kennedy (read: he's a huge conservative)) (yeah I just used double parentheses, what of it??), and the fact that I just told him the subject he teaches is about 60% full of crap is not likely to endear me to him any further. I hope he's the kind of teacher who doesn't care about your opinion as long as you can back it up well. Because I'm going to write that almost no one is liable for anything ever. I look at torts as the area of law where people who can't take responsibilty for themselves gain a legal advantage. Though there are some cool cases-take a defense of property case we read for today. This guy knows that people have been breaking into a house he owns where he just stores things. So he sets up a shotgun trap at leg level so anyone who opens the door will get shot in the legs. Sure enough a burglar comes in and gets shot in the knees. He gets a $50 fine and probation or something like that for burglary, and he sues the owner of the house and gets $35,ooo in damages for battery. When asked to comment on the outcome the owner said "Next time I'll aim it higher."