Yesterday was white water rafting with the firm. Breakfast was at 7:15, bus left at 8. Despite the early morning, I was excited. There were 12 people from the firm. We were joined by approximately 80 5th grade campers on the rafting expedition. Luckily, our group got separate rafts and didn't really have to deal with energetic small children. After my raft nearly sunk and we waited half an hour to get a new one, the trip down the river got underway. We went from West Virginia (new state, cross it off the list!) down the Chesapeake to to Virginia. There is a point on the river where you can see the banks of Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland at the same time. Pretty cool. Plus some Civil War battle sights. Nerd alert! Despite being out in the sun for 6 hours or so, I managed not to get sunburned (except for a small strip on my right ankle). I guess slathering on non-CVS brand sunscreen was a good call. Man, I love white water rafting. Not even the sun could bring it down.
Then the second phase of the day began. It started with beers on the bus. 12 people, 60 beers, and one bottle of whiskey. Do the math. It equals inebriation. An associate made a deck of cards out of post-it notes, and we played Kings and a drinking game to the movie "Red" (every time Bruce Willis kills someone, take a drink; every time a major character dies, take a shot). We were all feeling good by the time we got back to the office. One summer got pulled into a meeting with a partner. One associate had to sit in on a conference call. The rest of us went out to the bar. Here's where I remind myself never to drink Red Bull again. Jager-bombs aren't a good idea. Especially not after an early morning and a long day in the sun. An even worse idea: the Irish Trash Can. This is a drink our raft guide told us about, seemingly daring us to drink later on. So of course the four people who were on my raft and heard about the Irish Trash Can had to throw caution to the wind and order them. The drink is essentially a Long Island Iced Tea with blue curacao and a Red Bull, turning it green and making it a bombshell of disgustingly sweet caffeine and alcohol. Anyone who got a phone call or text message last night, that is why. It's been a while since I did something that plainly ridiculous with a drink, but luckily everything worked out well. Everyone was feeling good and chatting, and it was generally a good team building exercise. Did I mention that law has an unabashed drinking culture?
I didn't feel great this morning. At all. But I still was at work by 8:30, dutifully slogging through research in Portuguese. Google Translate is a miracle function, but not perfect and I still don't speak Portuguese, which made the morning's task quite frustrating. Try reading a foreign language on a headache sometime.
In new, old news: cover letters are awful.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Pretense
Monday our softball game looked like it might be rained out. It was a dreary morning, but it gave way to a sunny, lovely day, which I got to enjoy from the air conditioned artificiality of my office. At game time, the playing field was good to go. We beat the pants off the other team (not literally, Park Police might have had something to say about that), winning 20-6. Returning to the office, I stupidly followed Nick on the "shortest way" back, involving going through the middle of the field. Remember, it was raining, so the middle of the field was actually a mine field of mud. A mud field. About 3/4 of the way through the mud I had enough and stupidly decided to start running. That's how much got basically up to my knees, to say nothing of coating my shoes. I had to have a drink with K-Dawg who was in town, so it was dilemma time. Luckily, the firm has showers in the basement. And towels. And soap. Now that's convenience. Of course I didn't plan well enough for my walk back to my office from the shower, and ended up riding the elevator in my dress shoes and athletic shorts with two bemused janitors.
Tuesday evening was the infamous wine tasting at the firm. 9 wines: 3 white, 3 red, 3 mystery red. Lots of pretension ("Blackberries, currant, and some black cherry, definitely cherry"). The "mystery reds" involved a taste test to determine which was a zinfandel, a merlot, and a cabernet. Like I said, lots of pretension ("It has a...dusty finish"). Only 3 people guessed all three right, that's statistically worse than if everyone in the room had randomly guessed. It shows you how random (read: pretentious, yes that word has to be thrown around when discussing a wine tasting) it all is. After the official tasting portion of the wine tasting, the summers and a group of associates headed out to the bars. I have to say, it is pretty intimidating to watch the bartender hand out a dozen Mind Erasers followed by a few rounds of jello shots. Then on to the next bar to play flip cup. In a rare flash of brilliance, I left around midnight rather than sticking it out until the bitter end, which I am told was around 2 am. I did stay for long enough to see one associate storm out of the bar and call for her husband to follow her after a challenging team cheated at flip cup and heated words were exchanged. Luckily, I was not a part of any bad behavior and I was relatively alright the next morning. I actually showed up to work a bit before 9 and didn't have to close the door for a nap. I am told that many associates were not as lucky. Upon reflection, there were some people, largely women, who drank about as much as me and do not weigh nearly as much. They had particularly rough mornings. But my streak of minding myself at firm events is continuing. Halfway through the summer without a major social faux pas!!
Last night at the bar I waited literally 25 minutes for a bartender to notice me and place my drink order. Finally I ordered a cider and a whiskey soda - but he had to go downstairs to find me a cider. Then, when he got back up, he charged me $17 and moved on. It would have taken another half hour before I could argue with him about the price, so rather than protest I went on a profanity-laced tirade to my table. I felt better after that, and after the drink was safely in my stomach. But I can't decide if he was wholly incompetent or a brilliant strategist on behalf of the bar. I'm leaning towards the former, but you never know. For my revenge I didn't leave a tip - for the first time I think ever.
Also last night, I had mind-blowing donuts. I know you think most donuts are just donuts. But Ten Penh's donuts are something....special. They are outta this world delicious, topped with cinnamon sugar. It's like reinventing the donut wheel.
I don't think there are any good bagels in this city.
I get sunburned really easily. Like insanely easily. It's a problem. And I have been applying sunscreen, no matter how much I dislike the smell. Now it could be just because I wear the CVS brand sunscreen rather than shelling out the big bucks for a brand name (hellooooo Neutrogina). But I think it might be something else. Maybe I'm dehydrated, which makes it easier for the sun to...burn me. Sounds pretty flimsy. I know I am pale, this is ridiculous.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
You Wanted It
Aaaand we're back. Sorry, I just get busy sometimes. If it helps, I didn't get around to speaking to my mother for a couple of days. But Matt does a pretty good Will. And I love it. So here we are.
Work continues to be pretty good. I got an assignment that I am not thrilled about that necessarily involved converting a pdf file to a docx file to a doc file. Now this might sound like a bunch of silly techno mumbo jumbo, but the result was taking three hours to reformat and retype a couple of documents. It was...less than thrilling. And it really did not require any skills that I may have picked up in the past two years of law school.
The other summers and I went out Friday night in Dupont. It was remarkable because it was the first time we had no one from the firm. Therefore we could let loose (read: drink to excess should we choose). The evening began with a stiff manhattan while waiting for two of the summers to finish work (it was after 5!). I was on an empty stomach, so the cocktail and subsequent couple of beers could have knocked me for a loop. But do not worry, gentle reader (Ugh, I hate Miss Manners), I dug in my heals, ate a cheeseburger, and rallied. We all had a good night, full of semi-competitive skee ball and whiskey shots. I learned some things about the other summers - one is a profane drunk, another wears robes as study attire. Good things.
Now, this was actually a very lawyerly activity. To the untrained eye it may seem like we were just going out for a Friday night. But we were actually preparing ourselves for this upcoming Tuesday evening, when the firm will be hosting a wine tasting for us (emphasis on the tasting not on the wine, as an associate described it). The phrase "wined and dined" will be hilariously literal. I have been warned that I may not be incredibly productive with work on Wednesday morning. Good thing there are little packets of Advil next to the coffee machine!
"Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it" - David Sedaris. I like it. Very appropriate. I read it in a book of sassy quotations in a women's clothing store in the mall. Is this where wisdom comes from?
Clarence Clemons, the sax player from the E Street Band, died. Sad face. Moment of silence for the Big Man.
I am displaying the beginning symptoms of an addiction to How I Met Your Mother.
I did a mitzvah. I got a drunk man kicked out of a bar this weekend, with Rebecca. No more stumbling around, bumping chairs, and scaring girls for you, mister. Rebecca and I both considered it a mitzvah at the time, but now that I write it out loud (yeah, I see the issue with that) it seems less like the title of mitzvah applies. So what is it then??
Forgetting the ending to "Walk to Remember" made it really awkward when I asked Shaked why they didn't make a sequel. At least I knew it was the one with Mandy Moore! Hrm, maybe this is something I shouldn't have written.
People keep assuming that I'm stoked the Bruins won. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy about it. But hockey is my fourth sport...like, way behind the first three. Aside from winning ("Winning" - Charlie Sheen), my favorite story about the Stanley Cup was Canadians rioting and then apologizing to the city of Boston. How un-Canadian! I like that the out of character action was a story in itself. If the riots had been in Boston, would we have apologized to Canada? I doubt it.
I will try to update more regularly! Conscious effort: go.
Work continues to be pretty good. I got an assignment that I am not thrilled about that necessarily involved converting a pdf file to a docx file to a doc file. Now this might sound like a bunch of silly techno mumbo jumbo, but the result was taking three hours to reformat and retype a couple of documents. It was...less than thrilling. And it really did not require any skills that I may have picked up in the past two years of law school.
The other summers and I went out Friday night in Dupont. It was remarkable because it was the first time we had no one from the firm. Therefore we could let loose (read: drink to excess should we choose). The evening began with a stiff manhattan while waiting for two of the summers to finish work (it was after 5!). I was on an empty stomach, so the cocktail and subsequent couple of beers could have knocked me for a loop. But do not worry, gentle reader (Ugh, I hate Miss Manners), I dug in my heals, ate a cheeseburger, and rallied. We all had a good night, full of semi-competitive skee ball and whiskey shots. I learned some things about the other summers - one is a profane drunk, another wears robes as study attire. Good things.
Now, this was actually a very lawyerly activity. To the untrained eye it may seem like we were just going out for a Friday night. But we were actually preparing ourselves for this upcoming Tuesday evening, when the firm will be hosting a wine tasting for us (emphasis on the tasting not on the wine, as an associate described it). The phrase "wined and dined" will be hilariously literal. I have been warned that I may not be incredibly productive with work on Wednesday morning. Good thing there are little packets of Advil next to the coffee machine!
"Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it" - David Sedaris. I like it. Very appropriate. I read it in a book of sassy quotations in a women's clothing store in the mall. Is this where wisdom comes from?
Clarence Clemons, the sax player from the E Street Band, died. Sad face. Moment of silence for the Big Man.
I am displaying the beginning symptoms of an addiction to How I Met Your Mother.
I did a mitzvah. I got a drunk man kicked out of a bar this weekend, with Rebecca. No more stumbling around, bumping chairs, and scaring girls for you, mister. Rebecca and I both considered it a mitzvah at the time, but now that I write it out loud (yeah, I see the issue with that) it seems less like the title of mitzvah applies. So what is it then??
Forgetting the ending to "Walk to Remember" made it really awkward when I asked Shaked why they didn't make a sequel. At least I knew it was the one with Mandy Moore! Hrm, maybe this is something I shouldn't have written.
People keep assuming that I'm stoked the Bruins won. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy about it. But hockey is my fourth sport...like, way behind the first three. Aside from winning ("Winning" - Charlie Sheen), my favorite story about the Stanley Cup was Canadians rioting and then apologizing to the city of Boston. How un-Canadian! I like that the out of character action was a story in itself. If the riots had been in Boston, would we have apologized to Canada? I doubt it.
I will try to update more regularly! Conscious effort: go.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
226
Working at the firm is kind of like having a quirky, rich uncle. Sometimes it's amusing, sometimes it's annoying, and occasionally you get fun things. Yesterday we got a happy hour (and, as part of that, to leave at 5 - more exciting?!). This week I've had an interesting project. And today we had a painful training.
The happy hour gave the summers more time to hang out and get to know each other. Surprisingly, I beat Chris at pool 2 out of 3 games. And after a few drinks, we found out from the recruiting coordinator how many people interviewed at our office that were winnowed down to the eventual 5 summer associates we have. It's a shocking number and points me towards "luck" as the answer to how I got here.
Today's training was for about Professional Development and setting SMART Goals. SMART is an acronym for Specific, ummmm Mandatory? Asinine? No, those are words that describe the training. Alright, I don't remember what the acronym is, but the woman leading it made us write down short-term goals and specific ways to accomplish them. She was physically in the room with us, so we had to play nice and look remotely interested. Then she went through the videoconference and made one or two people from each office say what they wrote. Everyone's goals were bland, legitimate work goals for the summer: "I want to attend a hearing on an issue I worked on, and I will accomplish this by speaking to the associate I am working with..." and "I want to get work from ten partners in my department." Except this one kid in the Boston office. He says, "I want to get married. Five year goal. And I will accomplish this by getting my girlfriend to move here, then..." before he got cut off. The woman in our office running the training was shocked. I want to buy him a beer when I meet him. If training lady hadn't been standing twelve feet from me, I would have burst out laughing. Way to give an answer as useless as the question!
I didn't really know what lawyers "do" all day, and I'm still not sure. I feel like that with a lot of professions. My major project this week has been reading a hyper-technical contract and essentially rewriting it in terms that the client signing the contract will understand. The contract was, of course, drafted by lawyers. Come to think of it, this is what happened: the client paid lawyers to do something, they did it obtusely, and now the client has to pay lawyers again to tell them what they did in the first place. When she first started, Rebecca described the job of a contractor as "You make problems, then you fix the problems you made." That sounds eerily similar. What a hilarious business model!
Granted, there really is a point to "legalese" and writing contracts in such technical language. If it weren't written that way, there would probably be a lot of loopholes and ambiguities. But I don't think I am doing too much that a regular person couldn't do. I think that law school just helps train us to focus more and not give up at pointlessly complex language.
Corporations is turning out to be an incredibly helpful class. Tax also.
Last Saturday night I was told that if I were a Star Wars character, I would be C-3P0. It was easily the worst part of my night. I was so dismayed. The next morning I was told I would be an Ewok. I don't know if that helps. I guess it does?
For once, I was polite on the escalator and it paid off. The down escalator was broken, so everyone had to climb down. The pace was pretty slow because there was a guy a few people ahead of me climbing fairly slowly. I contemplated cutting him and the other people by shooting down the left side, but decided against it. Then someone behind me did the left side route, and jostled the slow guy a little bit. Well, when we got to the end, it turned out the slow guy was slow because he walks with a freaking cane. I am so glad I (for once) was polite and wasn't some jerk making life harder for a guy with a cane.
The happy hour gave the summers more time to hang out and get to know each other. Surprisingly, I beat Chris at pool 2 out of 3 games. And after a few drinks, we found out from the recruiting coordinator how many people interviewed at our office that were winnowed down to the eventual 5 summer associates we have. It's a shocking number and points me towards "luck" as the answer to how I got here.
Today's training was for about Professional Development and setting SMART Goals. SMART is an acronym for Specific, ummmm Mandatory? Asinine? No, those are words that describe the training. Alright, I don't remember what the acronym is, but the woman leading it made us write down short-term goals and specific ways to accomplish them. She was physically in the room with us, so we had to play nice and look remotely interested. Then she went through the videoconference and made one or two people from each office say what they wrote. Everyone's goals were bland, legitimate work goals for the summer: "I want to attend a hearing on an issue I worked on, and I will accomplish this by speaking to the associate I am working with..." and "I want to get work from ten partners in my department." Except this one kid in the Boston office. He says, "I want to get married. Five year goal. And I will accomplish this by getting my girlfriend to move here, then..." before he got cut off. The woman in our office running the training was shocked. I want to buy him a beer when I meet him. If training lady hadn't been standing twelve feet from me, I would have burst out laughing. Way to give an answer as useless as the question!
I didn't really know what lawyers "do" all day, and I'm still not sure. I feel like that with a lot of professions. My major project this week has been reading a hyper-technical contract and essentially rewriting it in terms that the client signing the contract will understand. The contract was, of course, drafted by lawyers. Come to think of it, this is what happened: the client paid lawyers to do something, they did it obtusely, and now the client has to pay lawyers again to tell them what they did in the first place. When she first started, Rebecca described the job of a contractor as "You make problems, then you fix the problems you made." That sounds eerily similar. What a hilarious business model!
Granted, there really is a point to "legalese" and writing contracts in such technical language. If it weren't written that way, there would probably be a lot of loopholes and ambiguities. But I don't think I am doing too much that a regular person couldn't do. I think that law school just helps train us to focus more and not give up at pointlessly complex language.
Corporations is turning out to be an incredibly helpful class. Tax also.
Last Saturday night I was told that if I were a Star Wars character, I would be C-3P0. It was easily the worst part of my night. I was so dismayed. The next morning I was told I would be an Ewok. I don't know if that helps. I guess it does?
For once, I was polite on the escalator and it paid off. The down escalator was broken, so everyone had to climb down. The pace was pretty slow because there was a guy a few people ahead of me climbing fairly slowly. I contemplated cutting him and the other people by shooting down the left side, but decided against it. Then someone behind me did the left side route, and jostled the slow guy a little bit. Well, when we got to the end, it turned out the slow guy was slow because he walks with a freaking cane. I am so glad I (for once) was polite and wasn't some jerk making life harder for a guy with a cane.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
How Did Offices Run Before Outlook?
Two things I consider hilarious happened yesterday. First, when I walked into the office in the morning a new blackberry was sitting on my desk waiting for me. Midway through the second week of work I finally get one, alright! Only it turns out that the blackberries that the summers get cannot make or receive phone calls, nor can they text message. All they can do is give us our calendar and our email from Outlook. And we can surf the web (hang ten dude!). I am amused by how obvious they make it that the purpose of the blackberry is so that work can reach you at any time. Perhaps the honesty is refreshing?
The second hilarious thing was that the summers in my office all left our harassment training early. How will I know what is appropriate behavior in the workplace? The training (via videoconference, mind you) ran long (due to every bullet point on the presentation being accompanied by a personal anecdote from the employment lawyer). And we had Westlaw training scheduled right after it, so our recruiting coordinator shuffled us on to the next thing. Can someone please tell me what is an "ok touch" versus a "not ok touch??"
If Joseph A. Bank goes out of business as a clothing store, I think it should re-open as a financial institution. It's got the description right there! Also, I really hope it derived its name from someone saying to his five-year old son Joe, "I really need an ATM. Look Joseph, a bank! What luck!"
[I just got a suit from Jos. A Bank, so it's on the brain.]
I want to use my blackberry for evil, but I am not even sure how to accomplish that. They just seem like devices so easily used for morally questionable reasons.
I have never seen Cats, and I am not sorry about that. How, then, do I have songs from Cats stuck in my head? Get out of here, Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!
I can't decide what I dislike more: humidity or people who stand on the left side of the escalator. It's a real toss up.
I got my hair cut this morning before work. I think that's a sign I am becoming a 'real adult.' Next I will have to learn the trick of how to get a haircut and not wind up with hair all over my button down shirt. I don't understand. I wore my undershirt while getting the haircut. I got my hair shampooed. I did the rub-your-head-to-get-all-those-last-trimmings-out thing outside the barbershop. And I still ended up picking hair off my shirt all day.
The second hilarious thing was that the summers in my office all left our harassment training early. How will I know what is appropriate behavior in the workplace? The training (via videoconference, mind you) ran long (due to every bullet point on the presentation being accompanied by a personal anecdote from the employment lawyer). And we had Westlaw training scheduled right after it, so our recruiting coordinator shuffled us on to the next thing. Can someone please tell me what is an "ok touch" versus a "not ok touch??"
If Joseph A. Bank goes out of business as a clothing store, I think it should re-open as a financial institution. It's got the description right there! Also, I really hope it derived its name from someone saying to his five-year old son Joe, "I really need an ATM. Look Joseph, a bank! What luck!"
[I just got a suit from Jos. A Bank, so it's on the brain.]
I want to use my blackberry for evil, but I am not even sure how to accomplish that. They just seem like devices so easily used for morally questionable reasons.
I have never seen Cats, and I am not sorry about that. How, then, do I have songs from Cats stuck in my head? Get out of here, Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!
I can't decide what I dislike more: humidity or people who stand on the left side of the escalator. It's a real toss up.
I got my hair cut this morning before work. I think that's a sign I am becoming a 'real adult.' Next I will have to learn the trick of how to get a haircut and not wind up with hair all over my button down shirt. I don't understand. I wore my undershirt while getting the haircut. I got my hair shampooed. I did the rub-your-head-to-get-all-those-last-trimmings-out thing outside the barbershop. And I still ended up picking hair off my shirt all day.
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