The Weakest Link

I went into today feeling good, not great about Computer Crime. As the day progressed, I felt better and better. Remember the curve. In the morning, I was studying with a friend when three other people in the class came over and started asking us questions. That was fine for a little, but after a while it gets annoying. I'm your classmate, not your tutor. I'm happy to help, but not teach you the things you totally missed. Studying with more than three people is almost always a waste of time, so I declined the invitation to go "talk about possible policy questions" in the afternoon. My best guess is that was code for "reassure ourselves that we'll be fine despite not paying much attention during the semester." I didn't really need to do that. I find it a better use of time to study rather than to wallow.

The review session was also confidence-inspiring. A kid spent five minutes asking our professor about mens rea requirements. And not some nuance in the law. He didn't understand the role of the jury in determining whether a defendant did something "knowingly" and how you would go about proving that. The concept really baffled him. Dude, you introduce evidence and elicit testimony. That's how trials work. Always. You should have learned that in 1L Criminal Law. Actually, you should have learned that watching "Law and Order." You are the weakest link, goodbye.

That awful feeling when all the sports teams you care about lose in the same night.

One of those days

It was just one of those days. Something dumb happened at every turn. The day started out well in Crim Pro, with two police officers coming in to talk to the class about Terry stop-and-frisks. A student volunteer frisked one of the officers in an attempt to find all the weapons concealed on his body. She did an admirable job, but only found about 7 of the 15 weapons he had. She totally missed the small knife he had clipped to the back of his tie. But hey, I probably would not have found that either.
After the officers left, things went down hill. In addition to the usual "jibba-jabba" that goes on in that class, including New Gunner's incessant attempts to appear smart, people who I generally consider to be intelligent began making moronic comments. A friend was attempting to argue against a distinction that the Supreme Court made between predictive and descriptive anonymous tips, but made the crucial mistake of not thinking before he spoke. He had to be reminded that "predictive" indicates future action. That's just part of the definition of predictive, you don't have to be a law student to get that. (Thus, giving a description of a black male wearing a plaid shirt at a bus stop is not predictive, whereas describing a woman who will leave a specific apartment at a specific time and travel in a particular car to a particular motel is predictive. See Florida v. J.L. But this distinction was apparently lost on my friend.)

Then a student who was clearly not paying attention got cold called in Tax. He was first unable to recall the only important phrase from a case we read despite the professor having repeated it approximately a dozen times. And even after the professor gave him the answer, he was unable to remember it or use it when given hypos to answer. It was awful and made the other 139 people in the class give a collective eye roll. It would have been a horrible class period had my professor not saved it by regaling us with a story about drinking beer and playing darts at a bar in Wyoming.

As I said today, I thought that when I went to college I would get rid of all the stupid people around in high school. Then there were stupid people in college. I thought when I went to law school I would get rid of the stupid people in college. Then there were stupid people in law school. (More than in college, really.) Now, I am beginning to accept that I will never be rid of stupid people.

Hey, there are some not stupid people in the world. Caitlin just got into vet school, so congratulations to her. You will soon need her services, you are a sick puppy.

Tomorrow will be a lovely, long day featuring 7:45 am class and a 7:30 pm meeting. They are both for journal. For some possibly insane reason I am seriously contemplating participating in my journal's editorial board competition so that I can be an editor next year. Why? I don't know. It's a resume line? It could be interesting? Emphasis on could. For some reason I have a compulsion towards resume lines and "achievement." It is disturbing to me.
My 7:30 meeting will happily include giving constructive feedback to other students on my journal about the first draft of their notes. I will likewise receive feedback on my first draft. My major challenge for tomorrow night is finding a polite way to explain to a fellow student that citing Alan Dershowitz for historical facts about Israeli-Palestinian relations is not legitimate. He is neither unbiased nor a historian, and as a reader I become skeptical of any argument relying on the Middle East according to Alan Dershowitz.
Remember that time he tried to debate Jimmy Carter? Yup, he should probably remember that he is a lawyer, not a foreign policy expert.

Underlining. More Underlining.

My blogging has been severely injured by my actually getting down to business and doing work. Doing work makes much of my life consist of staring at some nonsense in a book and underlining things that seem important so that I may promptly forget them. I got frustrated enough with this process the other day that I actually yelled at my Admin casebook. Just me sitting at my desk with no one around shouting "Oh come on! No one cares!"

The only "interesting part" of "doing work" has been cite checking and substantiating sources for an article at the behest of my journal. The process basically requires me to look through the author's sources, check that she didn't just make up her facts, and then correct her citations. It's busy work (but necessary so we don't get slammed for academic integrity issues) and I am beginning to think that this author never actually went to law school based on how badly she managed to screw up the citation style. But that's really not my big qualm. Someone else was responsible for "source collection" - gathering together copies of the sources the author used. I have been assigned 18 citations to check, consisting of 16 sources. 5 of the sources I am supposed to be looking at were collected incorrectly. 5 of 16. Almost one third. Like, they are just blatantly not the source in the citation. Security Resolution 827 was cited; Resolution 857 was collected and given to me. Guys, 2s and 5s look kind of similar, but come on we are in 18th grade. Another mistake was printing out the wrong statute. Just clearly not the correct one - different number, different name, different everything. This was unhelpful to say the least and it requires me to look like a whiny moron when I have to relate the information to my editor. Whoever collected these sources must be joking. I don't have time for this. No time!

Why does ice cream make you thirsty?

I was relating a story about petting a dog on Saturday night after I left a bar. In the middle of talking about the dog I realized that this occurred around 2 am. Why was this lady out walking her dog at 2 am? And why was I still awake with my night not nearly over? Because we all make poor decisions is why. I don't know exactly what her bad decision was, but mine was playing beer dice.

Law Ego, big time

I have heard tell of people who work in biglaw being pretentious jerks, but I never saw it until last night. I was at the bar for a friend's birthday. A woman who apparently knows one of my friends started talking to me:
Her: You are all law students, right?
Me: Yeah. How did you know that?
Her: I just know.
Me: How? Did you overhear a conversation?
Her: I'm omnipotent.
Me: I think you mean omniscient.
[I'd like to pause here and note that this interaction began with her vocabulary gaffe. I will add that I was actually polite about this entire conversation, for once.]
Her: So what kind of law do you want to do?
Me: It looks like energy law.
Her: Oh, I work for the number three energy lawyer in the country.
Me: Oh, that's cool.
Her: Yeah, you want to be on my good side.
Me: Ummm, ok...?
Her: Yeah, I work at Steptoe and Johnson for the number three energy lawyer in the country. He's my boss. [Then she said the names of some lawyers I've never heard of which I do not remember.]
Me: Oh, nice. That's really cool.
Her: Yeah, you want to be my friend.
Me: I'm sorry, I'm really not trying to suck up to you...I don't need...like I already have a job, so it's all good. And your firm already rejected me, haha.
Her: What's your GPA?
Me: What? Why? I'm not...I don't...
Her: What is it??
Me: [Tells her, perhaps stupidly.]
Her: Oh we probably wouldn't take you. We are all 4.0. Haha.
Me: Ok, well...???
Then she walked away and started talking about me angrily to her friend. I really have no idea why. No lie, I was very polite to her this entire time. That might be hard to believe, but take m word for it. I was very conscious of her bad attitude in the face of my pleasantries.
Besides her blatant insecurity and need to prove how important she was, I have questions about this interaction. Is she a lawyer, or is she a paralegal or secretary? I'm not sure how often lawyers refer to their "boss." I feel like they would talk about a partner they work with or their managing partner. Also, she had this massive superiority complex, but the entire thing started out with correcting her vocabulary. Finally, Steptoe is a good firm, but it isn't #1 in the country or anything. Her arrogance was simply stunning.
I asked my friend about this woman, and apparently she runs a health blog. That is ironic. How to put this lightly...her ego matches her physique. She went on to sexually harass Jeff (who was in town and it was fantastic to see). It got to the point where Jeff, a very laid back individual who does not mind female attention, had to tell her not to touch him. If I ever act as arrogantly as this woman, just kill me.

When I eat apple sauce I feel like I am five. But it is delicious.

Tonight I went to a Washington Capitols game. It was my first professional hockey game since I was about seven, but that one previous game made me a grizzled veteran compared with the other people I went with. Despite all my live hockey experience, I still had to resort to discussing "Mighty Ducks" with my friends. I did have the good sense to do that in a hushed voice so that the enthusiastic hockey fans (also read: screaming white people in hockey jerseys) would not know of my relative ignorance of the sport. The game was fun, for an inside sporting event, and I got to see Ovechkin score a goal so there was my money's worth. I was amazed at the high percentage of people who had hockey jerseys on. Those things are expensive and...it's hockey. But apparently people are passionate about the Capitols. Remember that time there was a hockey strike and no one I knew cared?

I've been hungry a lot recently, and I have no idea why. Maybe I am not getting enough of something. If I knew anything about nutrition then maybe that might help me be more descriptive. Protein maybe? That's a thing that makes you not so hungry I believe. Then again, so is pizza. My desert island food might be pizza.
Making food has become somewhat of an onerous task. You have to think about what you want, make it, eat it, and clean up. Sometimes I think it's just easier to walk to Subway. Then I remember I do not like Subway very much and it is far more expensive than just making basically the same sandwich with grocery store ingredients. Maybe the answer to some of this problem is purchasing paper plates so I don't have to wash my dishes? Wow, how lazy can I get?? Not to mention environmentally unfriendly. I think a better answer is to find new, interesting, and delicious things to cook. And to find my motivation. I think it is with Waldo.

News flash: 7:45 remains too early to pay attention in class.

Stupid person of the day: Me, for accidentally holding the door for the girl I don't like. Stupid manners getting in the way of vindictiveness. I dislike her for somewhat legitimate reasons though: she stole one of my screening interviews during OCI, she is inconsiderate when I have to walk past her seat in a narrow row of chairs, and she is ugly. All that and I still was accidentally nice to her.

Relief

I really have been meaning to update more frequently, but sometimes there just are not enough hours in the day. Though too many hours at night. Last night I dreamed that I was asleep when two people broke into my apartment through the balcony. It turned out they were lawyers and I talked and ate with them rather than reacting as if they were normal burglars. Then I woke up in a panic. Why? I don't know. But I hate burglars. It's a semi-irrational fear of mine, next to snakes and sharks. At least Indiana Jones has my back regarding the snakes.

The largest stress of this year so far in law school is mercifully behind me. I am overjoyed and relieved. A huge weight has been lifted. I wish everyone else the best of luck. Now all I have to do is choose a note topic. I've discovered that some other jerks did what I wanted to do first. Way to go, people who preempted me. And I met with a professor who pretty much shot down my two other ideas. So that was a fun little meeting where I am pretty sure I came off as hugely cynical and anti-human rights. I'd call that a success and look forward to my grade at the end of the semester.

Yesterday during my Con Law class there was a sorority event going on outside in the quad. Apparently the event was "Yell for Two Hours," and was conveniently timed to coincide with my professor's lecture about Lawrence v. Texas, a case about homosexual sodomy and more generally gay rights. In the midst of the lecture and after a particularly loud cheer from the sororities outside, my professor responded by saying "That's right, go sodomy!" Now that's how you enliven a class.

Yesterday I saw a man biking home from work in a suit, with a bow tie undone hanging around his collar. I don't know why, but I thought it was hilarious. Maybe it's because I then pictured Tucker Carlson on a racing bike. I bet he wears a bow tie at all times: cooking, swimming, and moonwalking.

Come on Fhqwhgads. Everybody to the limit.

Tonight I went to the Nationals/Phillies game. The Nationals lost, don't worry. It was the last home game of the season, and the foresight that I will miss baseball greatly in the off season spurred my decision. Also, they really want people to come to the ballpark. They were doing half price student tickets, they gave out free ski hats to the first 20,000 people, they had a fireworks show, and they handed out lots of other paraphernalia from the field which I did not get thrown to me because I am not a seven year old child. It was nice; Nationals Park is a fun place. But my real takeaway from the game was this: Philadelphia fans are awful. They are merciless in the face of pathetic opposition. They are boisterous, inappropriately drunk in a bad way, and bordering on cold-hearted. When you are winning by 6 runs in the bottom of the ninth and the home town fans are applauding a local player who had a great year and might not be back next year (Adam Dunn), it really is not necessary to boo the home town fans. That's just poor sportsmanship. And the $3 cap I bought outside the stadium has bad craftsmanship - shockingly.

I like Stevie Wonder a lot, but some of his songs surprise me with how bad they are.

Did that actually just happen? moment

For some reason discussing abortion in any context brings out the absolute worst in people. Today in Con Law it brought out the worst in gunners. We were discussing Roe v. Wade. (At the beginning of class I turned around and desperately asked the girl behind me what the case was about. Thankfully, she understood my sarcasm.) After discussing the legal reasoning behind the case and talking about how it fits into substantive due process jurisprudence, my professor opened up the floor a bit and started asking questions. Cue the crazies. First, one kid pontificated on the personal politics of the nine Supreme Court justices. We all know and no one wants to hear it. Shut up. Then, in response to a hypothetical designed to tease out our thoughts about the inherent conflict between the right to life and the right to autonomy, a classmate of mine offered a counter-hypothetical: "What if they ground up the babies into a powder and fed it to the mothers which would enhance their lives for 18 years." That's when I sat up straight in my chair and looked around with my mouth hanging open to see who else realized that this was the craziest thing ever. It was a "Did that just actually happen???" moment. Even if I explained the full context here it wouldn't make a difference. That's just a ridiculous thing to say. It almost makes me miss Racist-Civ-Pro kid.

This evening I had an Alternative Dispute Resolution Board meeting. It was a waste of an hour of my life. This comes a whole day after being asked about ADR Board at an interview and candidly expressing my feeling that it was a wholly arbitrary (and capricious) and largely useless membership. I was selected from a client counseling competition - how do you assign objective measure to how good a client counselor someone is? I guess there is a way...but the people who were judging certainly were no more trained than I. In retrospect I am not sure this was the best thing to say during an interview...maybe it's this kind of thing which prevents me from getting a job. Hope not! I still remain desperate and perhaps rethinking law school.

I keep getting distracted by nearby conversations during Boggle and losing to Reza. That's right, I blame the nearby conversations.

Welcome to your college frat party

Last night I hung out with Damien and some of his friends. Among them was a girl named Courtney (I think). She was a medical school student from Tampa and seemed nice enough. Somewhere in the middle of dinner she started talking politics and about how bad Obama has been. "Why," I asked her, "has Obama been so bad? He sure isn't perfect, but he passed financial reform, health care reform..." That's when the lights and buzzers went off, I said the magic words. She started tearing into health care reform, talking about how insurance companies are increasing their premiums and hospitals will cherry-pick patients. Honestly, I do not have the requisite knowledge to debate her on this, and I do not know the finer points of health care reform. I do, however, know that insurance companies and hospitals acting against patient interests is nothing new nor is it the fault of the Obama administration. I also know that when she told me "Every doctor in Florida thinks it is terrible," she is probably incorrect. Doctors cannot agree whether its a virus or food poisoning, so it would be miraculous to get every doctor in the very populous state of Florida to agree on a political opinion. Alright, she doesn't like health care reform. We'll see if it works or not, I guess.
Then she got worse.
This girl said she does not understand why anyone votes on social issues ("I mean, I love gay people, but it just isn't that important"). When pushed a bit on it, she responded that politicians don't make decisions on social issues, it's all the judicial system. "What about that Civil Rights Act? That was legislative. And DOMA?" I asked her. She had no response. I wonder why she did not have a proper retort? Could it be that she is entirely incorrect, does not know history, and has no idea about how American government works? Yes, many decisions on "social issues" come from the courts (Prop 8 ruling, just to think of one off the front page). But legislators and even executives have a huge impact and are constitutionally empowered to act on the issues. Also, to say that social issues do not matter sounds pretty flimsy coming from a privileged, white, Christian medical school student.
Another bright spot of the conversation was her statement, "I don't understand why so many Jews vote Democrat. It isn't in their interest." When asked to clarify she advanced the position that Jews are well-off to rich. It would be wholly unnecessary to dismantle her statements premise by premise. They are ignorant, incorrect, and borderline offensive, to be generous. In the midst of this discussion (which, by the way, included four or five people, not only Courtney and me), Damien's friend Sam tried to mention that many Jews have altruistic instincts because Jews have themselves been the victims of poor circumstances on a few occasions. Courtney's eyes glazed over and she simply could not understand the idea that someone could not always act in their own economic interest.
Other topics of conversation which betrayed her ignorance included why rebuilding is necessary and we can't just up and leave Afghanistan at the drop of a hat, why President Obama did not create the federal deficit, and why we live in a welfare state (because there are...welfare programs?). A lot went on in a short period of time. I laughed; I cried; I stopped talking and let other people handle it.

Then we went to a party thrown by some law school people. A house-warming party of sorts. It did get very warm in the house, perhaps due to the heat given off by the 200 or so people inside. It was every frat party I ever went to in college, but 80s-themed despite not playing 80s music. Not my favorite. Maybe 80s music would have helped. The big difference between this and a frat party was that when the cops came I was not worried in the slightest. We had 200 law students there, surely someone would be able to talk the police into leaving us alone. As it turns out, that was my friend Pat, who did so in a belly shirt and green spandex shorts.

Law of Large Numbers

Stephen Strasburg strained a flexor tendon in his pitching arm; I strained my patience for writing cover letters. I am (sort of) attempting to go with Shaked's idea and let the law of large numbers work its magic. That is to say, if I apply to enough places one of them is bound to want me, right?? To glance at my resume and say "He is the one!" It's a rough job market out there, that's the one thought that keeps getting drilled into us. So while I do not take rejection as an ego blow, I can only hope that my persistence pays off. I do get bored of the endless cover letters, however (Exhibit A: this blog entry).
Of course, there are still some places I would actually prefer to work, and I am not at the stage of being completely un-picky just yet. Though that could change sometime soon.

Last night I was half-watching "Inglorious Bastards" at a pregame at Damien's house. It started out as a few guys watching, some of whom had never seen it before (myself included). More people came, and I was still trying to keep an eye on the movie. It was difficult for me because I didn't bring my glasses and I do not have best eye sight in the world, meanwhile there are a lot of subtitles. I remarked on this and a girl's response was "There aren't many subtitles in this movie." "Well, the last half an hour has been entirely subtitled because they are all speaking German, and they are subtitles on the screen right now...so, I'm going to go ahead and disagree with you," was my polite response.

There are a lot of things I just never learned about, like matting in picture frames. When was I supposed to learn about that?

Damien busted out matzah last night and gave me a piece to eat. That was probably the first time I have ever eaten matzah in August. What a random thing to have lying around the kitchen.

Pasta Cave

Today I played a minimal amount of Hearts at work. That was due to getting an assignment. Insert lively trumpet blast here. I'm not sure what it says that I am happy to be getting work to do. Anyways, my assignment was basically "Does this exist? I need to know by Wednesday." After nearly a full day of research, the short answer I've come up with is "no." The long answer is "no, I'm pretty sure it doesn't...there are moderately related things, but not really." I have to commit that to paper tomorrow. Maybe tighten it up and insert citations.
The problem with this assignment (again) is that I am searching for something that doesn't exist. My goal is either to find it, or to confirm that it does not actually exist. I am pretty sure that it doesn't exist, but I can't be certain. It's an unsettling feeling - like having mice/squirrels in your wall (the exterminator thinks it was chipmunks, which I'm alright with. I just can't bring myself to be afraid of a chipmunk. If it wants to be in my wall, let it), only if the other side finds something then we are a little screwed and I feel like a fool.

There is office politics at work! And I remain blissfully unaffected, while the other intern is kind of stuck in the middle of it, receiving work from both two feuding sides and being forced to prioritize. I get to sit there and watch the gladiatorial contest play out.

Annie Hall.

I am looking for summer drinks that are not beer, gin and tonic, or dark and stormy. Suggestions? Whiskey on the rocks just doesn't cut it when it's 90 out.

I don't understand people who think it is alright to stop and have a conversation right in front of the entrance to the escalator, or that the bottom of the stairway is a good place to relax and sit down. Be a tad more aware!

Ron pointed out today that it was illegal to brandish a gun in traffic. But I don't see a problem with merely displaying a sign saying "I have a gun. Don't honk or yell at me." As a law student, my professional opinion is that it's fine. It's a free country, right? In retrospect I should have just written that as the answer to every exam question.

Speaking of Ron, this is the second workday that we have unintentionally coordinated outfits. Hope that stops happening, because we look weird riding the elevator out of the parking garage together.
Also speaking of Ron, he wants a BMW to eat pasta in. A pasta cave, as I dubbed it. Why, Ron? Why do you want a pasta cave?

Hosed

Thursday's Property exam went better. The things I didn't want to be on the issue spotter weren't on there (unless I really missed something). I came out of it feeling pretty good, which was a nice change from Con Law. Additionally, my Property professor brought her two kids into the exam beforehand to distribute candy. Taking candy from children - it doesn't sound great. But it's better than giving them free candy. Shouldn't have even brought up this sketchy rabbit hole. Whoops. The point is, that her kids were adorable and, despite being 12, were almost as tall as my professor.

Then back to the library! Once more into the breach! But somehow I'm losing motivation. I hope to regain it today with the immanency of Contracts in two days. But do I really care that much about express and implied warranties? No - but I have to pretend.

Yesterday I got into school on the late side - around 11. On one side of school, a block down, is a meeting at the World Bank. Lots of police, people in suits, cars with diplomatic plates, and generally important very official looking stuff. On the other side of school, in the quad right outside the law school, is a sorority event involving fire hoses, screaming (presumably drunk) undergraduates, and tons of idiocy. I asked someone later and I think it was a fundraiser of some sort, but I have no idea how this could have possibly been anything except organized morons. As far as I could tell they were divided into teams with matching shirts by sorority/frat and there were various events involving fire hoses. The only one of which I really saw or understood was two opposing teams of four people each had to control a fire hose to get a bucket strung up on a line to the other team's side of the line. Why was this an amusing activity? I am unsure. Why were they allowed to use fire hoses? Not clear. Why did they need to scream for three hours straight so that it could be heard literally everywhere in the law school? I have no clue. It was not the best afternoon for studying at school. Though I will say it was a laugh to watch all of this stupidity from a second story window, particularly because the fire hoses made the ground wet and I got to watch people wipe out every two minutes or so trying to run around. There was some cruel solace in that.

I went to a birthday party in SE on Saturday night. They had an ice luge there. Really, that's not just for frat parties? Alright, I'll take it as it comes. I was talking to this guy at the party who works at the State Department. I asked him what he did at state. "Terrorism," he responded. "Oooook. I assume you mean counter-terrorism." "Yeah, that's it, counter-terrorism, mostly focusing on Europe." "Ok, good. That's really cool." Then I talked about Dean Acheson for a little bit because I do love my post-cold war diplomats and I'm a huge nerd.

Dear Red Sox,
Please stop sucking. It's not a big deal, it's only a game. But the hopes of thousands, if not millions, depend on you. There are small boys and old ladies in the hospital who follow you daily. If you don't do well, they may not have the strength to go on. No pressure though. Also, it makes me a sad panda when you lose. That's not that important either. If you didn't know, a fairy dies for every home run you give up or error you commit. Like I said, no pressure. But people in infirmaries, sad pandas, and fairies are kind of taking their cues from you. So if you could at least try a little harder to be good, that would be lovely.
Thanks!

Pain is temporary, "Pride" is a song by U2

First final, Con Law, is tomorrow. I've basically been spending all of my time studying or eating. As such, it felt good to work out today after deciding around 5:30 that I was done studying for the night. Nothing else will come of it. I know all I'm going to know, now I need a night's sleep. And some knowledge of Con Law. Oh well. Of course today started off with a review session with my professor, during which a girl had to be told that there must be a relevant treaty in order for Congress to use the treaty power, and a war for Congress to use the war power. Even if I didn't go to law school I would have known that. Sometimes people need to pause, use a little common sense, and then plunge their head into a bucket of ice water. Lots of people left the review session feeling better due to some of the stupid questions that were asked. Kinda makes me hope that my questions were idiotic...but I'm decently sure they were not - for one thing I'm aware that the treaty power requires a treaty.

Yesterday brought me goodness at lunch in the form of 5 dollars, 12 inches, and 1 meatball marinara sandwich from Subway. It felt good going down. However, the rest of the day wasn't as delightful. Dammit Subway! Then again, it could have been something else...like caffeine. 2 large cups of coffee and a gigantic cup of Diet Coke. I'm lucky my heart didn't explode. Or my brain from all that book learnin' I wuz doin'.

A word about finals, particularly while being graded on a curve. I am not super competitive about the whole thing. I don't care that much about grades; I don't think they reflect that much or matter that much; I also think that amount of studying does not have a strong relationship to performance on the exam - it really comes down to how well you operate in those 3 hours as long as you know the material. But I am not alright with sitting in a room "studying" with eight people, some of whom are watching youtube videos, and explaining to them a basic power of Congress that was explained in the review session literally an hour before and was explained in cases we read and in lecture multiple times. That is not how I want to spend my day before a final. That doesn't make me a bad person or a bad friend, it just makes me the same as everyone else, if slightly better prepared at that moment. Unsurprisingly, this was not a mere hypothetical situation, but something that actually occurred today. Luckily, we got kicked out of that room by a faculty meeting and I relocated to a spot in the library where I could do a practice test without interruption. My recommendation to everyone who is not prepared: turn off gchat and get off facebook when you are studying, and studying will become a lot easier and less time-consuming.

That was what we call venting. Not in the way Coors Light uses the term. Thankfully. Damn those commercials were dumb.

Someone recommended that I run on the treadmill on a slight incline. Wow that was painful advice for my knee, shin, and quad. Why is being healthy so hard? What if pizza was as healthy as a salad? That's the parallel universe I want to live in. Where chicken ceasar wraps count as a serving of fruit, cheeseburgers count as vegetables, and beer is an acceptable grain for daily consumption - even in the morning.

The Red Sox need to do something in order to stop sucking. I'm sorry, but this has been pathetic. They lost 4 times in 3 days without having a double header. Come on!

Jesus. In English, it involves Christianity. In Spanish, it involves conjuring the Greek god of thunder. Conundrum.

Fire Alarming

Busy week so far. Lots of reading. Lots of wasting time in a 2 hour session on negotiations that my entire section had today in lieu of one LRW class this week. Why? I don't know. (He's on third.) It was actually pretty interesting. I learned that...uhhhh it's better to be cooperative when you negotiate than just being purely confrontational. Or so statistics would tell you. What the statistics won't tell you is that dinosaurs who threaten to bite the other negotiator's head off are far more successful than most cooperative negotiators.

Today was a day where a lot of people asked me annoying questions. The hallmark of all these annoying questions was that the questioner could easily have found out the answer himself, but, rather than take the minimal effort to do so, opted to ask me instead. It's not that my time is so valuable that I can't help out a classmate. It's that I am irritable enough that I don't feel like helping out 5 lazy classmates. Actual interaction from today--> "Will, when is the deadline to submit this form for the journal competition?" "Look right here at your computer screen at the webpage you have pulled up right now. It tells you the answer right there in big, bold letters." He was literally looking at the answer, and rather than process the information it was easier to ask me. Normally I wouldn't mind, but that was the 4th similar type of question of the day. Let's get rolling people. Get that brain working, processing information and retaining it. We are in law school, let's use some research skills, maybe some critical thinking.

Yesterday during Civ Pro my professor literally opened his mouth to say "Good afternoon" and begin class when the fire alarm went off. Bells starting ringing, lights started flashing, and my professor looked more pissed than I've ever seen him. More pissed than when racist kid advocated racism. Fire drill = more proof that law school is high school. We got to stand outside in the drizzle for fifteen minutes talking about Boggle and singing song parodies about the fire drill (me: "Somebody call 9-1-1, shorty fire burning at the law school" - creative I know). We then had the remaining 40 minutes of class where my professor raced through explaining the Seventh Amendment and how it's reliance on common law as of 1791 is a pretty dumb idea, but nonetheless the law. Really though, fun fact, you only have the right to a jury trial in a civil case if you would have had a jury in 1791. But what about all the new laws and new causes of action that have been established since then, you ask? Good question. But don't worry, the Supreme Court is on it. You just sort through all the causes of action that existed in 1791 and find the one that most closely parallels the modern one and if there was a jury in that cause of action, then you get one now. Could that every be problematic and lead to legitimate, well-founded differences of opinion even between the 9 foremost lawyers in the entire country? You bet it could. Yay Seventh Amendment.

I mentioned Boggle before - I am all about Boggle now. I've been playing with Reza and a few other people. Seriously, what a quality game. You could say it boggles the mind how good it is. Ok, I deserve to be dropped out of a second story window for that one. But the window has to be open already - I don't deserve shards of glass.

T-G

So last week was Thanksgiving. But I'm sure you knew that. I went to a family reunion type thing at a resort type thing in upstate New York type thing. There was lots of food, lots of not getting work done, and lots of awkward family interaction. The highlight was seeing Alan Alda there. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to be a jerk, but I thought about it a lot. I also went ice skating for the first time in like 8 years or so. I wasn't awful. In fact I felt like the man on the ice...until I fell on my face, that is. Right in front of two old women. I popped right back up to my feet yelling "Number One!!" and brushed the ice off my jacket. It happened. No sense in denying it.

The real ordeal was getting up to New York from DC. The Amtrak to Penn Station was half an hour late. No big deal. My cousin, Adam, got on on the way. We got to New York City in time to catch our connecting train upstate. Too bad the train was delayed for about two hours and was overcrowded so that I had to stand the entire time. It's not the standing that I mind. It was this: the only place to stand on Amtrak trains is at the end by the restrooms. So I was leaning against the luggage rack, reading a book the whole time. And almost every person who came down the aisle asked me, "Are you in line for the restroom?" The first few times I didn't mind and politely told them I was, in fact, not waiting for the unoccupied restroom. But after a while I got fed up. No, I am not waiting for a bathroom with no one in it while I am reading a book, leaning on the luggage rack. Is that how people usually wait for the restroom? I don't think so. It got so bad that all the people around me started laughing every time someone new approached me and asked the same question. Come on people! Powers of deduction here. (Speaking of which, I'm excited for the Sherlock Holmes movie!)

One more dumb person (that I can think of right now). Adam and I got on the elevator in the hotel to go to our room. The elevator started on the ground floor (the next floor is 1, then 2, etc.). We got on, a few other people got on, and then some lady ran on at the end, one of those "Hold the door..." type things. Alright, no problem. Adam presses buttons for everyone else's floor, and this lady asks for 6. Adam and I are going to 1. One floor up. The door closes and after three seconds it opens again. There is a large red number "1" which has appeared on the display panel, which previously showed a large red "G." This lady walks off, looks around, and goes, "Oh, this isn't the sixth floor?" Clearly not! You were on the elevator for three seconds. This isn't a turbo speed elevator. You didn't notice that it moved like 10 feet? The world doesn't revolve around your elevator needs, so chill out and wait for your floor. In the meantime, be more perceptive.

Braver told me that at the school he works at the have something close to a no-tolerance policy for saying 'retard' or 'retarded'. I think I'd get sent home from high school every day. Oops. Maybe something to work on.

France and India

Last night I went to trivia at the synagogue again with Rebecca. Because we were a two person team we got randomly joined to a 3 person team. As luck would have it (or maybe fate, rather than luck) we got put on a team with this girl I've met a few times at Felizia's apartment and her two friends. Alright, the night started off fine, eating kosher tacos and talking. Things deteriorated once we started getting trivia questions. The first round of 10 questions Rebecca and I answered...every one of them. And got 9/10 right. But I knew things were going to go badly when the second question was "What two countries fought in the French and Indian War?" I jokingly said "France and India," and this girl says, "Oh yeah." "Not really though, it's actually England and France." She spent 2 minutes trying to convince me it was France and the US "because George Washington fought in it, right?" Yeah, he did, but that was before the American Revolution, you know, when America wasn't a country. When we were a colony of England, who, incidentally, did fight in the French and Indian War. Good thing we got that one all figured out. What's next? I had to convince her that the giraffe is the world's tallest mammal. Any third grader can tell you that. Also there are five oceans in the world-she thought there were four. After that little mix-up I gave her my own trivia question, not even included in the trivia night: How many continents are there in the world? "Five." Ok, you clearly don't know anything, I'm very sorry that I had to break this to you, but you are an idiot. You should spend less time watching reality television and more time not being retarded. The problem is that this has the potential to be worse than me being angry at a stupid person. She is a contractor for the Defense Department...she has a job that potentially impacts our national security. And she doesn't know how many continents there are in the world, to say nothing of in what order the terror alert level goes (this was another trivia question that she botched...though it is, admittedly harder. But she works at DoD, come on!!!!). Despite her best efforts she did not ruin my night, trivia was still a lot of fun. We finished probably around 5th place, which isn't bad for a two and two half person team. The most fun trivia question of the night was What are the only two team names in the MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL that do not have the name of a city, state, or province in them?

I did end up getting my Torts midterm back on Monday. It wasn't what I was hoping for, but it's alright. I met with the professor in all his bow-tied glory the next. He made me feel better about it by telling me that when he got done grading my exam he was surprised that the score wasn't higher. He gave me some good feedback; I think my problem is more about test-taking than the preparation. I understood everything, I just didn't articulate it all perfectly and I didn't allocate my time well. Meh, it happens. Onward and upwards. Of course the next grade I get back is Memo 2. When do I get that back? Friday night. What a stellar time to receive grades. Take out the trash day, I suppose. Then, Saturday morning, I get to have my super fun, no stress meeting with my LRW professor about how the memo went and what I can do to make it stronger. Oh joyous day. I can't wait for my morning of coffee and criticism.

Today I'm feeling a bit under the weather. I'm trying to fight it off. I went to CVS and got soup and orange juice. I also had a miserable time in the check out line which included a man who didn't understand the idea that only the products actually marked as on sale are in fact on sale and a woman who cut me in line to get six cans of Campbell soup. I ended up using the automated check out, which I hate with a fiery passion. It is a machine of the devil.

I might do mock trial in the spring. Something to think about and mull over. It could go well and I could make mock trial board (which is apparently a prestigious thing, though I don't really care), or I could make a fool out of myself and being teased (or...mocked - ba-dum-ch) by my classmates. That second option I just threw in there for giggles, I'm not actually worried about my classmates' opinions. Which helps to explain why yesterday afternoon I found myself discussing whether the Fellowship of the Ring is a criminal conspiracy and what offenses each member of the Fellowship could be found guilty for. Frodo - being a wussy, for example. Alright, this got awkward.

To make things better consider this: Tim Lincecum won his second straight Cy Young award. But he still looks like a weirdo.