The End

I haven't posted for a long time and I think it is for a reason. This was really about the trials and tribulations of law school, or my life during law school. (OK, that was a horrible an unintentional pun.) Since law school is thankfully over, I think this blog has come to a natural end. Maybe I'll start a new one with a new theme in the future. If so, I'll keep you posted.

So thank you to everyone who ever read this blog. I only hope you got some amusement out of it at some point during its three year run. It certainly helped me vent my emotions (read: anger) during that period. And it was quite enjoyable to write along the way.

So I present, The Epilogue:
I passed the bar and was sworn in. Which, I suppose, makes me a lawyer. That is still a scary thought. I am gainfully employed at a law firm in DC. I like my job and I am anxious to get better at it (another goal is to at some point yell "I AM THE LAW!" - but that is less germane). The people I work with are surprisingly reasonable and polite; there is no ominous looking man sitting behind an old wooden desk smoking cigars and sadistically yelling at underlings, which is how I pictured law firms for a bit.

I generally like this city; I have lots of great friends; and I would even say I am doing pretty well. So as I look at where I was when I started this blog and where I am as I finish it, my takeaway is that things get better and bad situations are not permanent.

Thanks again for reading!

-Will

Hillbilly Hide-a-Way

If I started naming "laws" I could probably keep talking for thirty seconds before I ran out. Forty-five seconds if I spoke real slow. Nonetheless, I am now officially a "law clerk" (waiting for bar results to become "attorney") with three cases and a blog post as my responsibilities. And it's not this blog post - it's about real things like the CFTC. All after one day of real, honest to goodness work. Last week's orientation was fine and uneventful. Today all the action got started. And I'm pretttttty excited to dive in.

Not only was it my first day of work, our new office opened its doors today, making it a sort of Day One for everyone. This was to my advantage; everyone else was walking around inquisitively as well. The new office is nice. It looks like a cross between an Ikea catalog and an Apple store. Everything is white and wood. The best feature: my desk can mechanically be raised into a standing desk, or lowered to my comfort. It even has saved settings! Blew my mind!
The downside: for all the technology, my office has a mouse pad, but no mouse. It also has no keyboard, docking station, or monitor. All I had today was a tiny little laptop. And a mechanical desk. The irony.

 I spent the last few days of my stay-cation visiting Erica in North Carolina. It was mostly ranting about menial things (pretty much the best pastime ever) and eating bar-b-cue (the second best pastime ever). Lots of bar-b-cue (bbq?). I mean...LOTS. We went to this place in the middle of nowhere (read: the middle of nowhere) called Hillbilly Hide-a-way for a family-style dinner. It was quite simply phenomenal. To give you an idea, it included fried chicken, fried fish, green beans in butter, cinnamon apples, corn bread, mashed potatoes, gravy, bacon, and more. The next morning I ate a pulled pork sandwich for breakfast. I literally could not eat for the next two days. I think I had...a granola bar and some Diet Coke.  Look at this plate (and note the basket of "whipped spread." As I said at the time, "Oh look, they took butter and made it less healthy").

Seeing Erica was, of course nice. We had a little rage time. Released the fury. For me, that started in the car when I was stuck in an hour and a half-long traffic jam. I tried to leave a calm voicemail saying I'd be late, but I ended up yelling about it. Road rage like whoa.
On Friday morning, Erica was at class and I wanted Starbucks. So I used my handy dandy smartphone to track one down. Turned out my search for caffeine took me to "downtown" Winston Salem. I walked around both blocks of it. It was a slow-paced, quaint place with a surprising about of cultural diversity. And three bars, one of which is apparently the local favorite. I was jealous; nice beer cost about $4. The good life.

Exhausted. Time to sleep.

Blog Rededication to My Own Often un-PC Throughts

New look for the blog. It shows minimal effort on my part, which is better than no effort. What do ya think? I'm open to suggestions.

Today at the Nationals game I was surrounded by Boyscouts and their families. Little boyscouts. Cub scouts? I had the un-PC urge to yell, "Why do you hate gay people?" My goal is just to prompt some productive family dialogue about tolerance. Don't worry, I didn't do it. I know they probably don't individually hate gay people. But seeing the reactions would have been amusing. I'm just jealous because I'm not good at tying knots like them. And because they don't sell delicious thin mints.
This was actually just a thing that ran through my mind for about two seconds. What really became the problem was not being surrounded by boyscouts, but being surrounded by small children. It's very difficult for me to cheer for my team, or heckle the other team, without using profanity. Heck, it was difficult to maintain interesting conversation with my party without using profanity. I should probably expand my vocabulary. Torpor. There's a good new word. It describes the play of the Nationals today. Sad but true.

The Onion was right on in pointing out features of the new iPhone. So the iPhone 5 is lighter and thinner. But was anyone complaining about how thick and heavy the iPhone 4 was? Was anyone's pocket or purse severely burdened by this device? Why is this a selling point? Why isn't the new iPhone dialogue more focused on Apple obnoxiously changing the charger so that everyone has to buy adapters? I'm stickin' with my ol' iPhone. Call me old fashioned as I sit here using Face Time over wireless only and sitting in my rocking chair. There's nothing wrong with it.
The Samsung commercial pointing out all the flaws in the iPhone marketing is great because it's true. It's also a big F-U to Apple. I think in the Apple-Samsung wars, I may be siding with Samsung.

Orientation Tomorrow

Tomorrow is my first day of work! I am pretty excited. Well, it's an orientation day that includes two hours of IT training. So I guess that is less exciting. But I'm pumped to start it up. A job that is the culmination of three or twenty years of school, depending on how you look at it. This is the true meaning of the Alice Cooper's classic. In preparation I filled out tax forms, gathered my I-9 documentation, and did some hardcore ironing. Mmmmm nothing like a good pregame.

I was asked whether I anticipate having trouble sleeping tonight. I am a terrible sleeper before lots of big nights. The night before the practice multistate bar I slept maybe three hours (interestingly, the nights before the actual two days of the bar I slept alright). But I think I'll be alright: 1) I already worked there for a summer, 2) it's just orientation, and 3) I think I'm only there two days this week while my office moves. So that removes lots of pressure. And at least half of my excitement for this week revolves around getting to go out and do something during the day.

I have been getting out of the house more, mostly by going to Nationals games. I went to the double-header on Wednesday, the game on Thursday (thereby seeing the entire Dodgers-Nationals series), and the game today. All for about $8 to see a first place team. Wow, coming from Boston where tickets were impossible to get, forget about the price, that is stunning.  (And I really don't want to talk about the Red Sox right now, except to say that we are not in last place.)
At one of the games, there was a fight between a Dodgers fan and a Nationals fan. I didn't know anyone cared enough about the Nats to physically defend them. And it wasn't even in the belligerent bleachers. The combatants were right behind the Dodgers dugout, maybe three rows up. In other words, they paid hundreds of dollars to get their seats and all they got was an escort out of the stadium. Security won the fight.

The Emmys are on! I don't care!

The Patriots are on! I care more! These replacement referees are just terrible. Killin' me. And I don't even care that much about football. I mean, it's not baseball. But this is out-of-control bad refereeing. And as an athlete, nothing angered me more than awful refereeing. So as I type this, I have higher blood pressure and I am arguing with my television. My television is not phased.

Retreat

I'm at the point where doing nothing is getting a wee bit boring. It would be better if everyone else were doing nothing, then we could do something together. But the work week is quite the barrier, all these people with jobs and responsibilities. How unfair. I did have three days of actual scheduled time this past week. My group at the firm had a retreat here in DC. Well it was in Arlington, VA technically but that's close enough. There was a cocktail reception, a day and a half of meetings, and two nights of going out on the town. The meetings were mostly geared towards partners, although they did give me a better sense of what the practice group does. The social aspects were far more productive for me (not to mention more fun than listening to the head of the group remind partners to get their bills out on time). It was good to meet the people I will be working with. I think that type of relationship is much better with someone you have met in person. Call me old fashioned, but I feel much better taking work from people I have shaken hands with. And the flip side of that is that people who have met me are more likely to give me work and frankly be nicer to me. I even talked to some associates about my interests and got preemptively put on some cases. Department of Energy enforcement action, here I come! (Not sarcastic. I am actually excited about being a part of the matter.)

And then there were the nights we went out. The first night we went to POV, on top of the W Hotel to give the attorneys from the other offices a DC feel. The second night was more intense. We went to a restaurant with 1) a great view, 2) terrible food, and 3) an open bar. The DC attorneys formed an ad hoc party-planning committee and headed to 18th Street. They wanted a classier place to begin the night, and I suggested Jack Rose. In retrospect, it was a ballsy move for a not-yet associate to steer the entire group but it paid off. The bar features a huge whiskey list, good beer, and a fun atmosphere. The highlight was definitely buying a partner a manhattan and praying she liked it. Luckily she did, and now I feel like she is barred from being mean to me for my first six months. After everyone had a few drinks under their belt (metaphorically, if that were literal it would be quite odd), we headed up to Adams Morgan and settled at Millie and Al's. It ain't a classy place, but it got the job done. I definitely had a jello shot with a few partners including the international head of our practice group. Then I headed home around 1 am to be ready for our 8 am breakfast. I was far from the last one there. The group partied hard and was full of fun people. I'm glad to be joining up. It's far better than it could have been (Ex.: "This shiraz smells of currant and red berries. What do you think? Now I must retire for it hath past nine o'clock and  I must be fresh for the morning meetings.")

Also at Jack Rose, I got asked my name by a bouncer under the excuse that someone dropped some unknown item. Immediately after, a girl came over and asked me my name. Well turns out it wasn't someone flirting or being sketchy; she was a girl I knew in elementary school and hadn't seen in about 20 years. But she recognized me. I guess I really have looked the same since I was four.

DC Chillin'

It's sort of hard to update when you have so little to update about. For example, this week I sat around, watched Hell's Kitchen, and played video games. For variety, I read a book on my balcony. You see what I'm saying? Not a lot to get excited about. Although I am happy to have down time. Possibly my last down time ever. Don't panic, it's not because the world is ending Maya-style. It's because I start work in September and don't know when I'll have another opportunity to just chill.

Some 1L friends are beginning their quest to law school. It took me back to my first week of 1L. That was a dark time...that I never have to repeat. Woooooo. But it sucks for everyone, rest assured. It takes an hour to read twenty pages, you don't understand half the words, and you pray to the Law School Deity that you don't get cold called to explain what you read but didn't understand during class. Par for the course.
I got to reminisce about this with some friends/co-law school graduates last night at the bar. (The bar had a bocce ball area. I didn't even know what that was before last night - sort of bourgeois shuffle board as it turns out - but I liked it.) We all agreed the first week took forever and was awful. Then we poured a little out in memory of Aaliyah. Well, I did that.

I got a couch! It's been three years since I promised to get a couch for this apartment. Apparently I am a little slow. But I no longer have to sit on a broken, miserable futon to watch TV. All it took was a week of craigslisting plus a U-Haul rental so that I could, um, haul it.

On my run through Georgetown, I passed a bank that was taped off with an FBI evidence truck in front of it. No Neil Caffrey sightings though. That could either be because he is based in New York or because he is a fictional character. Draw your own conclusions. The point is that White Collar episodes cannot come out fast enough.

Viva el Peru

I'm back from Peru. It was amazing. My itinerary took me all over. Lima; Cuzco; Sacred Valley; three day hike on the Lares Trek; Machu Picchu; Puerto Maldonado and the rainforest; and the desert Oasis of Huacachina. Rather than recount my entire trip, I am just going to do a Top 5 list. This is very much in the spirit of a DC-Lima in-flight movie (High Fidelity, also one of my favorites).

Top Five Favorite Parts Peru
5. The Night Sky - You just don't get stars like that in DC. Or almost anywhere. Plus the view from the southern hemisphere was totally different. I got to see the Southern Cross, called the Andean Cross in Peru. Especially on the hike, you could see the Milky Way with incredible clarity. I'm not usually a sap about things like this, but it was breathtaking. The best part about the sky is that I can only remember it - it was impossible to take a picture. On a steep descent from sappiness, I had the best pee of my life on the second night of the hike. The moon was so bright I didn't need my flashlight, and I got to pee while gazing at the universe. It was a transcendent urination.

4. The Hike - The hike was a great experience that I would be happy never to repeat. The first and third days were basically fine. The second day was quite trying. We hiked to an altitude of 4600 meters (~15,088 feet) above sea level. More than one person felt quite sick at that altitude. I actually did fine with the altitude; it only made it difficult to breathe while hiking. But Jen couldn't eat lunch because of how altitude sick she was on the second day. The last 30 minutes on the way to the 4600 meter peak were steep and difficult. On the other side lay a picturesque lagoon. If you didn't feel like you were about to roll over and die, the hike was totally worth it.

The hike also included two nights of camping. We were told it was going to get a little cold. But we were warned in Celsius, so I didn't really pay attention/understand. (Though we Americans are actually the silly ones for using Farenheit - USA! USA! - why is 32 freezing rather than 0?) The first night was cooooold. I wore two pairs of wool socks and still couldn't feel my toes. Every time I woke up I would wiggle them just to make sure all ten toes were still there. When we woke up in the morning, the condensation on the outside of the tent had frozen, and ice fell on my head as I unzipped the tent flap. Turns out it went down to -10 Celsius, or 14 degrees Fahrenheit. I was completely unprepared for that.
The second night, I wasn't getting fooled again. I put on three pairs of socks, four layers, and a hat. The extra clothing and the slightly higher temperature made for a slightly less chilly night. I am happy to never again go camping when it is below, or even approaching, freezing.

3. The People - The people were diverse and friendly. I had lots of interesting conversations: discussing Kafka with a German, how ayahuasca helped my Peruvian guide deal with alcohol abuse, and the problems of conflating religion and politics with an Egyptian. I traveled with tourists from over a dozen countries, talked with a number of locals, and made some friends. Everyone I traveled with was outgoing and inclusive. And the guides really made the trip. (Except the rainforest one. He was terrible.) Additionally, Jen made a great travel partner. The most serious conflict we had arose over a fact that we couldn't Google due to lack of internet.

2. Sandboarding and Dune Buggying - At the desert oasis of Huacachina, 'the thing' to do is to rent a dune buggy, drive to the top of some high dune, and board down it. The dune buggy itself is a bit like a roller coaster ride - with smaller drops and more danger of getting seriously injured. The buggy was great fun, and it allowed us to get amazing views of the sun setting over the desert and of the oasis. A sandboard is basically a low-tech snowboard...really just a piece of board-shaped wood. You can ride it toboggan-style on your belly, or snowboard-style standing up. The former is definitely preferred for larger dunes. I attempted the smallest dune snowboard style, having never boarded down anything before and never even been skiing. I actually made it 95 percent of the way down before falling painfully on my hip and resolving not to try that again. Sand can hurt. I popped up with a groan, saying "Nothing that a beer can't fix." The final ride lasted about 18 seconds, which is a pretty long time to be hurtling down a sand dune with absolutely no control over your tiny piece of wood.
Sidenote: In Huacachina, I heard "Wonderwall" twice. It was so damn literal that I could do nothing but laugh for the entire 4 minutes of the song.
Sidenote 2 - Sidenote Strikes Back: Huacachina was generally a silly place. It was so small that you could see just about every structure in town from any point next to the lagoon. And the lagoon itself was silly. It was one of the least impressive bodies of water I've ever seen (small - less than 7 minutes to do the circumference in a rusty, old paddle boat). But it was also very impressive because it's a freaking lagoon in the middle of the desert.

1. Machu Picchu - It lived up to the hype and then some. It deserves its status as a modern wonder of the world. The photos don't do it justice. A book ("Turn Right at Machu Picchu" - thanks Carole!) described it as "sublime." That may actually be the most appropriate word for it. Another I will try is "awesome," in the sense of inspiring awe and wonder. It was best early in the morning, when it was only "had lots of" tourists and was not yet "infested with" them. Two of the best experiences were seeing the sun rise over Machu Picchu and climbing to the Sun Gate to see the city from afar. I have tons of pictures, but none of them adequately capture the scene. You just have to go.

Post-Bar...Peru

The bar exam is officially over. And it feels great. The days leading up to the bar were a little tense. The two days of the bar were not the most pleasant. But now things are awesome.
The bar was a surreal experience. There were two thousand people with gallon sized plastic bags trying to disguise their nervousness. All mobbing Hynes Convention Center. The first day of the bar was the multistate exam. Two-hundred multiple choice questions. I thought it went decently. There weren't too many crazy Property questions. And no Rule Against Perpetuities, which was a plus. I don't think even one bank forgot to record a mortgage due to a clerical error.
 The woman next to me got up to hand in her exam an hour before time in both the morning and afternoon sessions. That is either extreme confidence or extreme foolishness. I sat out the entire time, trying not to change my answers.

The second day consisted of ten essays, five in each session. I felt like I had a decent grasp on the morning session, but it really slipped away from me in the afternoon. A few of the essays I read over and over again, wasn't sure what they were asking about, and proceeded to make some crap up.  (My only relief is that other people seem to have done the same thing.) There was one essay containing a trust, which I must have read over and over for ten minutes until I decided it made no sense and the problem wasn't just me. Then I just made something up. On another essay, my knowledge of warranty laws was painfully insufficient. So I made something up. See the trend?

The afternoon session was probably the closet thing I've ever gotten to a panic attack. I lost all concept of time and had difficulty calculated how much longer I had whenever I looked at the clock. I felt myself almost fading into the chair, and the words on the computer seemed to expand. It was slightly disorienting. My last essay must read like the ramblings of an addled man who knows a marginal amount about criminal procedure. I'm just hoping that the first day and the morning session can make up for any deficiencies. But really the important thing is that it's over!

At least we didn't have any bats at the bar exam site (unlike Indiana) and no one had a stroke (Virginia). The worst thing was probably the hour and a half-long bag check line at the testing site, since everyone had their laptop case and the event planners did not use enough foresight.

After the bar, I went to the bar. McGreevy's, that is. The less stressful, more boozy type of bar. Where a number of lovely people came by to celebrate with me. Thanks to the non-bar taking contingent who came out: Ethan, Nakul, Erica, Kait, BDP, and whoever else I am missing. Then there was the crowd who had just taken the bar exam. We were...a deserved mess. We celebrated getting through ten weeks of studying and two (in some case three) days of the most important exam of our lives. There was much rejoicing.

I spent another day in Boston, saw Dark Knight Rises, and came back to DC. Everyone, you don't have to be embarrassed. No one else could understand half of what Bane was saying either. And how does he eat??? He has to drink through a straw, I imagine. But he is so big that he must be chugging protein shakes through the straw constantly. Yet, I didn't see any protein shakes in the movie. Plot hole! That's right, the plot hole I am concerned with has no bearing on the actual film. (Spoiler alert: the other thing that preoccupies me is that it must have taken Batman a long time to draw that bat sign in oil to get lit up, and they only had a few hours left to save Gotham. Is no one else concerned about Batman's time management priorities?)

After spending a couple days in DC, I leave for Peru tomorrow. I think I am all packed and ready to go. I'll be back the 14th. So if you need me, email is the best way to get in touch. Not that I'm bringing my laptop to hike Machu Picchu.
Boom. That's right, I'm hiking Machu Picchu. And spending a couple days in the Amazon. Plus Lima and Cuzco. If you are thinking "Will isn't much of an outdoorsman," then you would be right. ("I'm an outdoorsman, Donna.") But here I am being adventurous and expanding my horizons. My biggest fear about this trip is snakes. Because they are the worst in all contexts. All of them. I think spiders rank at number two. Three is zombie Incas confusing me with a conquistador. If those things don't come near me, I'll be all set.

To Peru!

A Link (not the Super Smash kind...sad)

Alright, I'm gonna throw out a link. This is the kind of crap I find funny these days. Really, on the bar exam about 5 banks will forget to record mortgages due to a clerical error. It's not most maddening thing. These banks didn't get to be billion dollar institutions by making clerical errors with regard to the stupid mortgages they hand out. No, they record and then foreclose on the house of some poor Joe who just got fired from his job at the Pizza Hut. Wow, studying for the bar can really take a toll on your sense of humor. Also on your wrists; I think I'm getting carpal tunnel.

I did laundry today. I don't think I lost any socks. Or I lost two socks and I don't know!

Cupid Shuffle

Saturday Ryan and Jess got married! Ryan is a husband, it's crazy. Congratulations to them. Mazel tov. The wedding was lots of fun. The couple was happy, the guests were happy, and the father/daughter dance inspired some tears. The ceremony was at a church in DC. It was a little more religious than I was expecting, though I don't know why since it was in a church after all. I think it's the first mass I've ever sat through, so that was neat. The reception was at the officer's club of an army base in Virginia. "But they don't allow drinking on army bases!" someone protested. "Oh yeah? Watch me," was my response. Turns out they didn't have any booze, just Shirley Temples.
I am kidding. They had an open bar which was nicely stocked (and some people did have "dirty Shirleys.") The bartender, however, was half deaf and repeatedly gave people a drink they had not ordered. Kerry asked for whiskey and received a cranberry vodka. Her theory was that the bartender figured that she's a chick and that's what chicks drink.
Another great facet of the wedding was the Bad Grammer love. It was great to see Erica, Celia, Dumps, Talya, and Josh. (It was also nice to see other people, but I was at the BG table so I'm focusing on them. And they are more important than most other people so...deal with it.) It is sincerely heartwarming that we are so much like family that we garner an entire table at the wedding reception.

Not to worry, the DJ played the "Cupid Shuffle." I know you were worried about it, but it happened. We also did the "Electric Slide." It was so long since I last did the Electric Slide that I nearly forgot how to do it. Luckily, it ain't exactly the most complicated dance in the world. It's at least one step below the "Single Ladies" music video.
Ryan stepped onto the dance floor with about fifteen seconds left in "Call Me Maybe." Upon hearing he had missed the song, he goes, "That's it. I really gotta quite smoking." Great motivation right there.

Every time I listen to the Black Eyed Peas I dislike them a little bit more. Their songs really are not good.
I'm really going with the music comments tonight. The background in Rihanna's "Hopeless Place" is basically just the "Macarena." Listen to it. Tell me I'm wrong.

Ryan's bachelor party was on Thursday, and was a great time as well. The highlight was going to the Columbia Room. The bartender's version of the rickey (the official drink of DC), called the shandy rickey, was one of the best cocktails I've ever had. And Ryan's drink, the Ghost Dance, was amazing as well. It involved burning some herbs with a brulee torch and putting the glass over it to get the glass smokey. It took pretentious craft cocktails to a whole new level. And I loved it.

Blah blah blah studying for the bar is a pain, barbri sucks, and so on. You know the drill. Don't let my briskness detract from my candor on this, however.

Taste-o-Vision

I have been neglecting this blog. I know it. But maybe that's because the most interesting thing I've done recently was correctly predict the winner of the MLB Home Run Derby (Prince!). Studying for the bar continues. At least tomorrow marks a milestone: the last day of lectures! I am positively wild-eyed with excitement. It means there's more time in the day to sit down and learn the material. More importantly, it means I never have to outline my lecture notes again. That is easily my least favorite part of my day to day routine. So...huzzah for that being over.
Last week I had a simulated exam over the course of two days. Well, most of an exam. There was a simulated 6 hour multistate exam, but only a half day local essay exam. The multistate went pretty well. It made me feel like I'm on the right track. Like I can actually do this. The local day made me...not as confident. I learned that I really need to work on essay writing. And I should probably learn property law.

This week is Ryan's bachelor party (Thursday) and wedding (Saturday). Besides saying mazel tov to him, I want to admonish him for picking a wicked inconvenient weekend to get married. Two weeks before the bar? How inconsiderate! But I'm pumped for both the bach party and the wedding. I'm also pumped to see a bunch of people at the wedding. All the improv people and other college people. Not the crappy people though. They know who they are. (Note: I actually don't know who I am referring to.)

I've been having trouble sleeping the past few nights. My favorite 2 AM sleepless pastime is watching the Food Network. But it comes with its perils. It's a really terrible feeling to 1) not be able to sleep and 2) really crave a surf and turf prepared by Bobby Flay. I'm really thinking that the Food Network is a perverse form of torture. Until they make taste-o-vision! I'll be the first in line at Best Buy for that. When I'm 106 years old. And probably don't have a lot left to live for, so I'm willing to give something that dangerous a chance. Whatever. It's a long way off.

Where are you calling from?

On we trudge through bar prep. Nothing particularly new on that front. More slogging. More questioning the integrity of barbri as a quality test preparation service.
I called the barbri Boston office to ask a question about one of their answers today. The woman answering the phone asked, "What bar are you taking?" Well, I called the Boston office, what do you think?? I've called twice and they have asked me both times. Why? Next time they ask, I'm going to tell them I'm taking Georgia, but I figured I'd call Boston just to see how the weather is. Then they refused to answer my question, because they only answer substantive questions during particular hours twice a week (read: they are only offering the remote possibility of being helpful during particular hours twice a week, at times when I have class - their class).

SCOTUS is supposed to health care-it-up tomorrow. Predictions? I say Chief Justice Roberts writes the opinion. It'll be either 5-4 striking the Act down or 6-3 upholding it. Chief Justice Roberts votes with Justice Kennedy and assigns the opinion to himself. Though I'm shaky, they could punt it down the road. My only real prediction is that Justice Scalia writes a separate opinion taking the most conservative line possible and belittling anyone who doesn't agree with him. (Not too much of a prediction, he's sort of a one-trick pony.)

Cupid Shuffle!!

Heat

So there's no way to stop LeBron. Congratulations Heat. Rueful congratulations. And premature - I'm still watching the game, but I don't think you can jinx something you don't really want to have happen.
Speaking of heat, is hit 100 in DC today. I liked it. I was inside most of the day watching a 3:40 Con Law lecture that moved painfully slowly and bracing myself for my nemesis: Torts. I start barbri's lectures on Torts tomorrow. In law school it was probably my least favorite class. Worst grade, worst experience, worst everything. And I'm waaaay behind everyone else since my 1L Torts professor, praised be his name (in his own head), taught us a crazy, biased, law and economics version of torts. Now, learning torts the regular version is totally different. The rules are clearer. We don't do comparative economic analyses, for one thing.

Other people are getting a little taste of the barbri Property lecturer. She is proving to be quite divisive - people love her or hate her. Or both. Most people start out loving her, but by the third day of her singing popular songs with words about Real Property out of key, people tend to turn to the dark side. I can't imagine why. 5 weeks and I'll have something else to talk about.

I'll smack you in the mouth, I'm Neil Diamond.

Kerry and I decided tonight that Jay-Z did not invent swag, as he claims on "Otis." Rather, it was a little known chemist from UCLA, Dr. Charles Swaggerstein who invented swag as a mistake while he was working on the Manhattan Project in 1942.
Jay-Z remains a Criminal Procedure expert, however, knowing his "glove compartment's locked, so is the trunk and the back, and I know my rights, so you gon' need a warrant for that."

Mini-Tantrums

Today while "condensing" my notes after lecture, I stopped and yelled at my computer: "Oh my god, I don't care!" It was just an irresistible impulse. Like a reflex to studying Evidence. If I think about Evidence for more than six hours a day, apparently I have to yell about it. I'm pretty happy no one else was around me at the time. It was akin to throwing a mini-tantrum. Great stuff.

Inspired by something I read, here is what I have learned so far from bar studying: Record your deed immediately. Do no accept a quitclaim deed, someone is screwing you over. Tumblrs about studying for the bar are more interesting than studying itself. I am capable of giving a crap for over five hours a day, but less than six. Don't go into property law.

Just booked my bar trip to Peru. It's gonna be baller. Machu Pichu, the Amazon, and Lima. I can't wait.

Florida

Friday through Sunday I took a (far too brief) vacation to Florida. The trip was prompted by a wedding; one of Kerry's high school friends got married on Marco Island. So I had little choice but to be dragged to the Gulf Coast of Florida. It took a lot of arm twisting. The wedding was on a beach, which I was previously unaware of. That would have been good to know beforehand. So there I sat in a wool suit during the picturesque ceremony. If the picture was of me, it would mostly be of me sweating, since it was about 88 degrees out. But the heat on the beach was temporary - the wedding moved inside for dinner and dancing. My biggest complaint about the wedding was that the DJ played a remix of Journey, which I found completely unacceptable. In other words, the wedding was a lot of fun. The food (filet mignon and pistachio encrusted snapper) was absolutely delicious, really pushing it over the top.

The morning after the wedding, Kerry and I went to the beach on the Gulf. Neither of us packed sunscreen, so we had to keep it brief. Lobster just ain't in the cards in the Gulf. I had never been in the Gulf before. It was warm, beautiful, and totally ridiculous for an ocean. Being a New Englander, I'm used to the Atlantic. If you're lucky it gets to the mid-fifties in there. Even in August, a wet suit is appropriate. The Gulf was otherworldly to me. It's not what salt water is about. But you know, I could get used to it. I liked not coming out of the water shivering. In June!

The other days, we hung out in Naples. It's a nice, albeit silly, place. There are three types of people there: regular people, retirees (who we can call older regular people), and super rich vacation homers. The super rich vacation people have these absolutely crazy homes. Like 20 bedroom, multimillion mansions with backyards on the Gulf to provide easy access to their yachts. Yachts, plural. And these are just vacation homes. It is hilarious yet sickening.
Besides these mansions, Naples had nice beaches, shopping and restaurants.I had some of the best sushi of my life (in Florida, surprising, right?). And went to a fun pub, concisely named "The Pub," that had a good vibe and lots of great beers. Much of yesterday was spent contemplating dropping this whole law thing and just being a bartender at The Pub. Silly you think? Well they get to wear kilts to work. How silly does that sound now?! I think it's just how I get after being somewhere pleasant, then returning to something as...unpleasant...as barbri. Unpleasant = me being polite.

Now I'm back to barbri, which is what I'm gonna go ahead and blame for my failure to update on. It really is time consuming! Especially when you spend days catching up because you take a trip to Florida. (Who is irresponsible enough to do that?)
I had a tussle with them, but I'll talk about that later. Too much effort.

Saturday night in Florida I got to check something off my list: make fun of a Heat fan. Me, to a guy in a Heat jersey: "Oh, you're a Heat fan. Nice to see that. I didn't think you were a real thing. Like a unicorn." Of course it came back to bite me. I ended up watching Game 7 in the home of Heat fans. But I don't really want to talk about that - it's too raw.
Instead, I'll talk about another first that happened that evening: I used a beer koozie. (Yes, I remain a New England elitist.) It was so exciting; my beer stayed cold for so long. Do they look ridiculous? Yes. But they serve a purpose. Count me in. I am so cosmopolitan now.

What Else Are We Missing?

Bar class has been plugging along. Not fun, but not awful. My routine is to go to school in the morning, do the assignments and review my notes, eat lunch, go to the Barbri lecture in the afternoon, come back and do the homework. It is unexciting, but necessary. But today, I had two back to back experiences that are really shaking my faith in Barbri.
This morning I was working on my first essay question of the entire course. I hadn't seen the form of the questions or the form of the model answers. The model answers, we are told, are truly model because they are written by attorneys with unlimited time and resources, whereas we are time pressured and have only our memories. The essay question was about corporations, a topic I took in law school and reviewed last week in Barbri's class. I wrote out my answer and identified three main issues: duty of loyalty, duty of care, and requirements for a derivative suit (I promise it doesn't matter what those mean right now). Then I flipped to the model answer, and it had only two issues: duty of loyalty and the derivative suit. What happened to the duty of care issue? I flipped back and looked at the question again, and I really thought I saw a care issue. Either I'm crazy and was spotting an issue that didn't exist, or Barbri's model answer - their model answer - was missing a huge part. I asked a friend or two whether they thought there should be a care issue. They both agreed with me, as did a girl in my lecture who also had done the problem. So are these model answers good answers or aren't they? Later in the day, I actually called Barbri to ask what was going on. They told me to call back tomorrow for some reason or another (probably because it was the end of the workday and they didn't want to deal with me - legit given how much their course costs?).
My second problem with Barbri is somehow more disturbing. Today's lecture was the second day of Real Property. I took the class in school, I've been reading, reviewing, and generally doing my work. So I was shocked when the lecturer missed one of the elements of adverse possession. There are five requirements, and she only listed four of them, excluding the requirement that possession be exclusive. This element was a question that came up on Barbri's own AMP software and on a practice question, so I was shocked that she could just leave it off. And it wasn't by mistake - the handout that we got excluded the element from the otherwise complete list. I couldn't believe it; I looked it up in Barbri's own provided materials just to make sure I was correct. And sure enough, she just blew it. (Then again, she also claimed her father invented penne alla vodka, so I don't know why I'm surprised.) While I'm happy that I caught the mistake, it is disturbing. I took property in law school and have a decent familiarity with it - what about the classes I didn't take? What about secured transactions, family law, and all the others? Are they omitting important details there too? It's just very unsettling, and I don't really know what to do about it. I can't exactly ask the lecturer what the deal was - she's just a video, recorded live last week in Boston. Ummmm, this seems like the beginning of something ominous. If I can't trust the lecturers, and I can't trust the model answers, who can I trust? I am the Jason Bourne of Barbri.

The Post-Graduate

So I took a little break from blogging. My official bar studying program (Barbri) starts tomorrow, so blogging is back to being an outlet for everything angry, hilarious, and random in my life. Especially because I will have limited human interaction for the next two months while I study. Boy, I can't wait to start! Actually, I can't wait to get the bar over with, to be an esquire.
In the meantime, I went to Boston, had a great time at the BG alumni show, attended an awesome gay wedding as Shaked's plus one, engaged in Grad Week festivities (most notably a memorable boat cruise on the Potomac with an open bar, dancing, great views, and better friends), got sick, got better, and finally graduated. There, now I am caught up. That (run-on) sentence makes me realize how little actually happens on a day-to-day basis. Life is all in the commentary.

Today I gave myself a paper cut on the lip while I was licking the envelope for a thank-you letter. It turned the graduation gift into a quid pro quo. No pain, no gain type of moment. Daniel Day Lewis predicted this: there will be blood.

Yesterday's Memorial Day came with bar-b-que festivities at Damien's house. It also came with 90 degree weather and a lot of sweat. The bar-b-que was entirely meat. Left to our own devices, an entirely man-planned bbq will not have side dishes. Diversity of foods means including hot dogs and chicken on the grill. What more could you need?

The real fun starts tomorrow when I get to listen to the Corporations I lecture for four hours. I actually want to start barbri; everyone else seems to have already begun. It makes me feel like I am missing something and causes unease. It also means that no one has time to hang out, so I might as well be working myself.
This set up where I start my preparation for the Massachusetts bar this week is another thing designed for New Yorkers to feel superior. The New York bar prep started last week, so my New York peers have been looking down at us inferior, "easier" states. Oh New Yorkers, you so silly.

Oh, and Dave is moving down here on Friday to start a new job. I am pumped for that. A friend from high school leaves (Rebecca) and another one comes. Fair deal.

Done. That is all.

The Weakest Link

I went into today feeling good, not great about Computer Crime. As the day progressed, I felt better and better. Remember the curve. In the morning, I was studying with a friend when three other people in the class came over and started asking us questions. That was fine for a little, but after a while it gets annoying. I'm your classmate, not your tutor. I'm happy to help, but not teach you the things you totally missed. Studying with more than three people is almost always a waste of time, so I declined the invitation to go "talk about possible policy questions" in the afternoon. My best guess is that was code for "reassure ourselves that we'll be fine despite not paying much attention during the semester." I didn't really need to do that. I find it a better use of time to study rather than to wallow.

The review session was also confidence-inspiring. A kid spent five minutes asking our professor about mens rea requirements. And not some nuance in the law. He didn't understand the role of the jury in determining whether a defendant did something "knowingly" and how you would go about proving that. The concept really baffled him. Dude, you introduce evidence and elicit testimony. That's how trials work. Always. You should have learned that in 1L Criminal Law. Actually, you should have learned that watching "Law and Order." You are the weakest link, goodbye.

That awful feeling when all the sports teams you care about lose in the same night.

Last Exam. Some Reflections.

Tomorrow is my last exam from 2-5. Computer Crime. I can't wait for it to be done and to have a champagne toast with my friends on the patio at 5:10. It will be the end of my official law school career. So I guess it's my last real day of law school. I can't help but reflect on the differences between where I am now and where I was at the beginning of law school.
At the beginning, I hated law school and didn't want to be there. Now, I...still hate law school and can't wait to get out of there. Alright, so that's not different. But I do feel like I have learned and grown. While I wouldn't claim to know "law" or be incredibly prepared to be a practicing attorney, I do feel like I acquired special skills that set me apart. As hokey as it sounds, a way of thinking. It involves no Kool-Aid, don't worry. My Civil Procedure Professor (also Separation of Powers professor) was totally right 1L year when he said that law school was about learning skills. And only some skills -  analytical skills. Others were completely ignored. My professor told me that some of the faculty of my school were brilliant minds, but couldn't interact with a client if a million dollars depended on it. Absolutely. That was the best advice I got. In order to succeed in law school, my professor told me, just to work hard and don't cut corners; work on developing the analytical skills. So that's what I did. I did my reading, briefed cases, went to class, and prepared diligently for finals. I learned how to do work every day, as silly as that might sound. Maybe for the first time in my life I challenged myself. And anyone who is going to law school and wants to succeed, I would give them my Civ Pro professor's advice. It's about skills. That's what you are working to learn and it requires hard work to succeed.

That's why 1L year was the worst. First year they scare you to death. Truth. I had no idea what to expect going into my first exams. No one did. It really was getting thrown into a pool without knowing how to swim. I maintain that first round of exams were a crap shoot. No one has any idea what the test will look like, what their answers should say, or how much they need to prepare. You do what you can and hope for the best. I think I was hoping for one A my first semester, which is sort of funny in retrospect. But after first exams, there's a steep learning curve. Now, in my sixth exams period, exams are still difficult. But I am no longer hoping for only one A. It's no longer a game of chance. But exams take a lot of work and I will be happy to dispense of them tomorrow. Except that other one, what's it called now? The bar? But that's a concern that can be put on hold for a couple of weeks.


For college, I was sad to leave though ultimately ready to move on. Now, I am excited to get out of law school and get on to practicing. The only trepidation I feel is my natural aversion to change and the fear that comes with having the label of professional student cast aside.
I had some great professors. I had some awful professors (Torts! I'm looking at you.). But mostly, I had decent professors.
I met some great people who will be friends for life. I met some people I wish I could un-meet. And I met tons of people I'm indifferent about.
I dealt with an administration that was awful. Uniformly awful. And that's why I can't wait to leave and never donate. My revenge.

Mostly, I am excited for my next step. I have a job that I am anxious to start. It's not my dream job, but I am very happy with it.  I won't get a student discount at the movie theater anymore. I won't be living on loans. I think I will officially qualify as an "adult." It's going to be nuts.

Wow, pretty reflective. Especially from a guy who would rather wrestle a bear than write a reflective essay for class. More anger and debauchery will come soon. Just remember, next week is Grad Week.