Wednesday, January 25, 2012

U-Haul

I'm upgrading my bed. I bought my friend Lindsay's queen size, but the problem was transporting it. So today I had the terrifying experience of renting a U-Haul and driving it around DC in rush hour. But I had the awesome and unique experience of driving past the White House in a moving truck.


I'm pretty sure I made a bunch of reckless lane shifts when I forgot that I was in a huge freaking truck. I definitely pissed some Prius off and I made a semi-illegal turn. But I did not hit anything or anyone, so I consider that a success. Plus I have a new bed and the experience of driving a U-Haul around.
I don't know why but U-Hauls are kind of sketchy. That's why I love the contrast of the truck and the President's house. But why are U-Haul's sketchy? Do lots of people commit crimes in them? Granted, I was driving around with a bed in the back of one. I could see that looking bad.

I was actually too bored to function today in Trusts and Estates. It shut down part of my brain. Too bored to be angry. Now that is impressive.

I made custard for creme brulee. Tomorrow I'll whip out the brulee torch that was a birthday present. And I'll be extra careful not to burn down my apartment.

How 'bout that State of the Union last night? President Obama - he knows how to deliver a pretty speech. Now let's see if he knows how to win a difficult election.
With luck, he'll be facing The Amphibian. I really can't comprehend how 200,000 people (in one state nonetheless!) could vote for Newt Gingrich. Where is the redeeming quality? His racism? His sexism? His hypocrisy? I mean, it is progressive of him to ask his (ex)wife for an open marriage. Who knew that the Republican Party was so open to polyamorous relationships (between Newt and a Mormon - sorry for the stereotype there). But The Amphibian is...a fat jackass. Just being honest. What does anyone see in him?! How has he convinced three women to marry him?!!!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

As a bad internet user, I should be standing in solidarity with the black out protest of SOPA and PIPA bills currently in Congress. But I think Wikipedia is far better equipped to get that message out. So here I am with my sporadic blog.

The low down on my classes this semester. The scoop. The quick and dirty.
Separation of Powers - perhaps the first and only class in law school that I actually enjoy. I like the reading and the discussion. I like sitting through class. What's wrong with me? I feel like my heart grew three sizes today, as the law school grinch. But really, what a fun, interesting class with a great professor, my old Civ Pro prof.
Computer Crime - semi-interesting, rapidly-evolving area of law. The professor is entertaining and showed us a scene from "War Games" already. It should be fine. But soon I'll be scolding you (one person in particular) for stealing facebook passwords. Fun fact: my professor defended the "MySpace Killer."
Antitrust Seminar - the first class was just obnoxious name dropping. The second class was much better. Mostly I am amused by how much antitrust knowledge the professor thinks we have, but we totally don't know/remember any of it.
Trust and Estates - I may kill myself out of sheer boredom.

Using CVS Extrabucks (I spend waaaaay too much money at CVS for some reason), I bought fancy hair conditioner. As in something that cost more than $2.09. So far I am afraid to use it. It's like razor blades - why so expensive? But I hope it gives my hair extra shine and bounce. Is that Mitt Romney's secret?

White Collar addiction: activate.
Now I want to learn to how to pick locks. It just seems so cool and useful. I promise I'm not considering becoming a professional art thief after law school. Pinky swear it.

I may soon be royalty. I am purchasing my friend's queen bed because she is moving in with her boyfriend. I'm considering getting sheets with pictures of Freddy Mercury on them.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Portion of a GChat Conversation with Jonah - oops

me: people are stressed. they take it out in different ways
vanessa freaks at you
i drink whiskey and yell a lot
same different
difference*
sorry - whiskey
Sent at 11:57 PM on Wednesday
Jonah: ghahahah
me: that was an honest mistake
is the terrible part

And Another Thing

One more grievance: my school automatically takes out $50 from my loans as a "library donation" each semester. I just learned about this - they don't really tell us about it. What kind of CRAP is that? Apparently you can opt out of it. I want to go demand my money back from every semester I "generously donated" to the library. Jeez, next time at least buy me dinner first!

Felonious and Intentional

The Starbuck iPhone app is probably the bougiest thing invented to date.

I'll talk about my current classes soon. But as my grades come back from last semester, I'd like to say they are absolute crap. In both ways. I did better than I should have in some classes and worse in others (namely Pubic Interest Lawyering - a BS class that I still didn't do particularly well in. Why?! I have no idea). At least I finally got my grades. I'm not sure how much they matter at all. But I still have that Type A thing inside of me somewhere driving me to achieve. I blame my upbringing. "Blame."

I have an awful case of senioritis. Or anger. In Trusts and Estates, I completely tuned out for the first 45 minutes of class. That half of class could have been summed up in one sentence. Instead, we spent 45 minutes on a relatively simple case, the Model Probate Code (which only a handful of jurisdictions follow), and pointless hypotheticals. If you were wondering, here is the one sentence explanation: A person may not inherit from someone he killed if the killing was felonious and intentional. Bam - done. Now, felonious and intentional are certainly legal terms of art- but we learned about them first semester 1L year in Criminal Law. Not difficult. This one sentence absolutely did not merit half a class. So I tuned out. From time to time I would remember that I was supposed to be paying attention and tune in, but I only had the attention span to hear half a sentence at a time. I got a lot of dependent clauses in there. Regardless, I missed absolutely nothing.
Honestly, it sort of brought my entire day down. Like Angry Sandwich Lady to Matt Hope, that class messed up my whole day.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Beginning of the End

So here I am on the verge of a new semester. The next semester. The last semester I will ever have to deal with. Presumably. Who knows, maybe I'll go back and get a Ph.D in philosophy and ride out my days as a college professor. Regardless, tomorrow my last semester of law school begins. How do I feel? I want to click my heels together at the thought of ending this nightmare of a school. But mostly I don't want to go back to class.
My classes are: Antitrust Seminar, Trusts and Estates, Computer Crime, and Separation of Powers. No class before 11, no class on Fridays. It's sort of like a college schedule. And I get to pass/fail one of the classes. Woo! All my professors are supposed to be good, so I am...hopeful? As hopeful as I can be after having done my first reading assignment in a month. It wasn't great. My brain sort of forgot how to read anything that isn't the New York Times or a Game of Thrones sequel.

I am starting classes tomorrow, and still only have two out of my four grades back from last semester. I find that pretty disrespectful. My last assignment for Public Interest Lawyering was due at the beginning of December. There were two professors and only twelve students in that class. And they still can't give me a damn grade?! I'm sure grading isn't fun, but it's the professors' job. Just do it!

I am rapidly becoming addicted to Amazon.com. The iPhone app doesn't help anything. I'm just jonesing to use my Amazon Prime free shipping.

More than the sex talk, I'm afraid to explain to my children how the stock market works. "Daddy, what's a stock?" is sort of a difficult question. "Daddy, what's an independent public offering?" How do you explain that to a seven year old? I'm not sure I totally know myself! "So Toys R' Us issues stock, and if you buy the stock then you own a tiny piece of that company. And if they do well then you can share in their profits. That's why I bought you that damn Tickle Me Elmo." "Daddy, what's the CFTC?" Don't even get me started on futures markets, junior.

Today I bought my first Brooks Brothers shirts (because they were having a 50% off sale). They are...so nice. I feel like a classy gentleman wearing them. Not a bad start to a professional wardrobe. I'm going to purchase large, leather-bound books to match. Maybe a red velvet smoking jacket. The cotton is so soft I'm considering using a shirt as a pillow case. Alright, now we are going overboard, but you get the picture.
Maybe someday I'll get one of their ties with the golden fleece and officially submit my application to the WASP club.
But really, the shirts are awesome. And I'll never be a WASP because I just bragged about how I got them on sale...

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Virgin America Has A Terrible Website

Last night I was walking down the street and I heard something I'd never heard before. This woman talking to her friend says, "You know who I really like is Newt Gingrich!" It was not said ironically. That's honestly a first.

New Years in New York came and went. It was fun to see people - Jonah, Jessie, Caitlin, etc. It was much more low-key than last year. For example, I didn't get hammered and run around the apartment screaming profanities at anyone who would listen. The funniest thing that happened was McGrath bringing 101 proof peppermint-berry liqueur and making everyone have a shot of it. It was honestly the most disgusting drink I have ever tasted. It made me want to puke immediately. Then I watched McGrath singlehandedly finish the bottle. Next (unsurprisingly) he vomited.
The next day I saw my cousin. And a huge subway rat feasting on discarded sushi. My cousin's company was more pleasant, if I implied any comparison there.

I took the Megabus with Kerry back from New York. The bus was a double decker and we sat in the very front of the bottom level. In the middle of the bumper to bumper traffic that plagued New Jersey I was reading a book. Out of the corner of my eye I saw some liquid fall from the top level down the stairs. I thought it was water or something. Yeah...turned out it was vomit. A passenger upstairs had gotten motion sickness and projectile vomited down the stairs. Luckily it was not terrifically smelly vomit - more of the not smelly type. We pulled into a rest stop for her, adding to our already 2 hour delay. Normally I would be furious, but I figured things could be worse: I could be the woman who vomited. I took a deep breath and saved my anger for later.

For things like Republicans. Rick Santorum?! Are you serious Iowans? Is that a goddamn joke? He is a lunatic. A right-wing, radical, hateful, hypocritical lunatic.
Mitt Romney is the eventual nominee. There's just no way around that. Better get used to the idea. My favorite thing about Republicans is that they have so much ridiculous religious zealotry that they many cannot even stomach a Mormon nominee.

For now, I'm trying to enjoy the last few days before my last semester of school. Ever.