Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Can't Start A Fire Without a Spark

Yesterday, I was unable to board two buses because they were too full. Or rather, the driver did not encourage people to move to the back and squish a bit (read: to be considerate of others), so people were not permitted to board. While annoying, this episode had its own humorous point which probably made up for the inconvenience. There were maybe seven other people who were not allowed to get onto the buses, including an elderly Hispanic woman. This woman was so outraged at the first bus driver that she hurled a few four letter words and one five letter word beginning with a "b." It is not every day you get to see a respectable looking older woman proficiently cursing in an accent. But that was my day yesterday.

Note is due Monday. I also have to write my fourth and final paper for Law of Democracy sometime soon, likely this week. With meetings and regular work, that adds up to a pretty decent amount to do. Law of Democracy is a thoroughly scary class. My professor is an intimidating intellect. He has argued 13 cases before the Supreme Court, knows a few justices personally, and has incredible litigation experience. He dissects statutes and opinions like no one I have seen. This did not help my grade on my most recent paper for his class, where he found approximately twelve issues that I had not spotted. Today, I went to his office hours briefly to ask him essentially how he does it. It was phrased better than that, but it still was probably a silly question. He reminded me (not very reassuringly) that he has lots of experience at this and has been doing it a lot longer. More helpfully, he told me that I was not just missing obvious stuff, but this is a difficult area of law and quite a difficult course. Right, he did say that in the beginning of the semester, and I either did not listen or forgot. So I feel a little bit better about my performance, and a little motivated to do better. But mostly, I want to some day be a baller like that. Oh, did I mention that his name has surfaced in discussions of Supreme Court nominees?

Today was a Bruce Springsteen day.

I hope tomorrow is Rex Manning day.

I have a friend who became an aunt on Monday. She showed me pictures on her iPhone. Like...fifteen pictures. Of a one-day-old. There were only so many times I could repeat, "Aww, adorable. So cute," before I began sounding super disingenuous. I mean, it's a fine looking one-day-old. Cute for something that looks like a wrinkly ball of skin and hair.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

The Game Is Afoot

Last week was busy; this upcoming week will be busier. I have a meeting almost every night and then I have to help out with the first year moot court competition over the weekend. Let us discuss things I am not interested in doing. On the flip side, my note is coming along nicely and is maybe 5 hours of work from completion. Alright, I will probably put in 7 hours, but whatever. I have 8 days. If my calculations are correct, that is less than an hour a day. Hold on, I am doing the math on my computer calculator. Yeah, I was right. (Channeling Mark Zuckerburg in "The Social Network" over here.)

Speaking of stealing ideas, do not steal this one. I want to pitch it to Steve Jobs myself. A "Read A Mat, Eat and Learn" place mat for adults. The iMat. It will send convenient facts and world news right to your place mat. Spill mashed potatoes on an image of Vice President Biden's head. Yeah, I know it is not a perfect plan. Really, I just miss educational place mats. My "Read A Mat" of presidents had George H. W. Bush as the current president. Those were the good old days.

Last week I was fascinated with a minor point in Tax. Two correctly decided cases about the tax consequences of prenuptial agreements and divorce settlements resulted in a logical flaw combined. (The flaw has to do with calculating the basis for the right to sue for divorce, if you were wondering, which I am sure you were since everyone finds the income tax code so interesting.) I was actually so interested in it and its broader implications that I went to my professor's office hours. I also went because I like him a lot and wanted to see if he would crack similar jokes one on one as he does in front of our class of 140. He did. I also think it is generally a good idea to get to know some professors. At the very least, it can't hurt. He was super nice and somehow got to valuing future property interests, which led to a(n) (tenuous and likely flawed but still interesting) entrepreneurial idea about valuing and purchasing risky property interests a la buying out life insurance policies. It's just crazy enough that if nothing goes the way I plan, I might try to make it work. Or you take my idea. Idea stealer. Don't steal the iMat though.

Don't be a drag. Just be a queen? Wish that song were not stuck in my head.
I also wish I knew how to Dougie. Many people refused to teach me. The Cali Swag District tried in an online video, but I don't think it is too helpful. All I got is there is a little head brushing move that is essential to the dance. I am afraid that I am starting to not understand kids these days.

In Taboo (the game), Kerry described a cannoli as a "cream-filled taco." Reza, who was not on the same team, got it instantly, but somehow the rest of the team could not conceptualize it. I thought it was the perfect description.
Speaking of Mexican food (tacos, not cannoli, I know), I found more people in DC who recognize the amazingness of Anna's Taqueria. Oh, how I miss those delicious burritos and quesadillas. Someone please complete the Anna's Challenge: eat three super burritos in one sitting. I dare you. If you do it, I will pay for your meal (if you are lucky, and if you manage to keep it all down).

In other news, my distaste for my Criminal Procedure class continues to grow. Although, Thursday's class did see New Gunner getting 100% completely shut down by the professor for asking a question that had been answered two minutes earlier. Also, someone needs to tell him that if he is compelled to make a comment in class that begins with "I think," or "In my experience," then he should not be making that comment at all. Those sentence starters come straight from Law School Gunning 101: What Not to Say.

I made chicken as part of dinner tonight. I wanted to tenderize it, and a hammer was my best tool for the job. It happened. Creative kitchen utensils.

Monday, March 21, 2011

This post contains more legal stuff than usual. Maybe don't read that part of it?

This morning I had the worst treadmill experience. Ok, the second worst; I didn't fall this time. That was embarrassing beyond belief. No, today I had a perpetual itch on my shin. I kept doing the hop/lean/scratch move, but it just was not working to get rid of the itch, no matter how many hop/lean/scratch moves I did or how ridiculous I looked.

Barrister's Ball was a lot more fun than I anticipated. The venue was really nice (it's been used as a set for West Wing) and the people were lively. I think it wins the award for law school event that involved the least amount of talking about law school. A great memory is the end of the night singing "Piano Man" in a large group that included Reza, Ryan, and Steph. It was simultaneously incredibly cliche and incredibly fun. Billy Joel knows how to help make a memory.
At the pregame someone busted out a bottle of Veuve Cliquot and offered it around. Well, who am I to say no to champagne that costs about 10 times what I generally spend on a bottle of wine. Growing up every Passover my neighbor would bring a half case of Veuve to seder. That's pretty much the only reason I know anything about nice champagne. But not only is it delicious, but it has a good association for me.

Today in Law of Democracy two guest speakers came in to talk to the class. They are bringing a challenge to the law that bans non-permanent resident aliens from making campaign contributions. Although they were much younger than I expected, they did a great job, and their brief is one of the best pieces of legal writing I have come across. I suppose I should not be surprised; they both clerked on the Supreme Court. But I enjoyed reading their brief and thinking about the issue, which is a sharp departure from 99% of law school work.
Upon first thinking about the issue, my gut reaction was that non-permanent resident aliens should not be allowed to contribute, so I disagreed with their position. To some extent, I am still uncomfortable with it, but it is difficult to articulate why. The answer cannot be that aliens cannot vote; children, corporations, PACs, and nonprofits cannot vote, but can contribute. They, like aliens, all retain First Amendment rights, including the right to political expression. There is certainly a governmental interest in disallowing those loyal to other governments to exert control over our electoral system, but what about permanent resident aliens and people with dual citizenship - they may contribute and even vote. We do not want aliens acting as conduits for foreign governments to infuse cash and impact elections, but there are other laws which prohibit such action. So why exactly should non-permanent resident aliens be prohibited from making political contributions? Why should a doctor and a lawyer who were born in Canada not be allowed to donate? The lawyers I heard today want them to be able to, though they still want to exclude others, like foreign agents and tourists. They advance the idea that there must be a "sufficient connection" between the alien and this country - demonstrated through factors like paying taxes and residence. There is obviously a line drawing problem in defining "sufficient connection." People who do not and never will reside in the U.S. may still pay taxes to this country, and some, like foreign agents, who reside in the U.S. should still be excluded. What about an alien who owns property in the U.S. and pays property taxes, but lives here for one week or one day? Why is it legal for residents of Massachusetts contribute to candidates for Connecticut state legislature? That seems to be quite a similar situation. Massachusetts and Connecticut are separate sovereigns with separate governments, and their mutual interests may be similar to the mutual interests between the U.S. and Canada.
The best reason I can come up with for being uncomfortable with disallowing non-resident aliens to give political contributions is that they are somehow not a full part of the United States' political community and therefore should be excluded from exerting such direct influence over our electoral process, a process fundamental to our government and nation. It is unclear how to exactly define who is and who is not an appropriate part of the political community, so again there is a line drawing problem similar to determining what is a "sufficient connection." In both cases the appropriate response may have to be pointing to the system of immigration classifications that Congress has enacted. The classifications may not have been designed with this goal in mind and may rest upon arbitrary distinctions, but at least they are a clear guideline.
The case is Bluman v. Federal Election Commission.
Sorry for that, I hope you didn't read it all. But it is interesting to me, and I wanted to preserve my thoughts in case I ever want to refer back to them. In case I ever can't think them again!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Tears of Rage

This afternoon I made the mistake of reading Tax in bed. You guessed it, I fell asleep. But I was rudely awakened by 15 minutes of an Audi SUV's car alarm going off. I did a good job of ignoring the first 5 minutes of the racket, but it eventually became too much and I succumbed to the pressures of consciousness, followed immediately by anger. Someone turn that damn car alarm off or just steal the car already.

Last night I went to dinner with a college professor of mine who was in town. He contacted me on Tuesday to say he would be down in DC, and would I like to meet up. Of course I would! It was nice to catch up with him. But it was rather saddening giving him my honest (read: negative) impression of law school. He was quite interested because he has a J.D. himself and is often consulted by college students for advice on law school applications.

Barrister's Ball (law prom) is tonight. Reza is worried about dancing. I gave him Will Smith's advice from "Hitch." We can pretend like that's not the advice I follow also. The event includes an open bar and "heavy appetizers." I'm not sure what heavy appetizers consists of - an edible ten pound weight? But the open bar excites lots of people. I remember two Halloween's ago as an open bar cautionary tale. Plus how badly can you abuse an open bar when you are wearing a suit? "A lot," is the answer that creeps to the front of my mind. Uh oh. Let's all hope for the best. At very least, it might help Reza dance!

Happy Purim! Someone give me a Haman effigy to burn.

Last night at Damien's there was a serious debate about the spelling of "tear" (meaning rip). Some very intelligent people argued it is spelled "tare." They are wrong, though that is a word as well. They were getting tripped up by the fact that "tear" also refers to what you shed when you cry. I was staunch in my defense of the "tear" spelling, and rightly so, but it did make me question my own sanity very briefly.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Yesterday morning I walked out of my apartment without my coffee. It was because I had not yet had my coffee that I forgot it. What a vexatious logical loop.

Happy St. Patrick's Day. I'm not Irish, but I'm from Boston, so that half counts, right? It definitely counts today. Strike up the band. No, not the orchestra, the Dropkick Murphys. Unless the orchestra has bagpipes. That would be neat.

I think I'm never going back to that trivia night again. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. So, shame on me, but I am learning from my lessons. Categories I have no knowledge or interest in include: tv spinoffs, obscure volcano locations, and surfing. Categories that were present at this week's trivia include: tv spinoffs, obscure volcano locations, and surfing. On top of that, the host is supremely unfunny (despite what he believes), arrogant, and often times incorrect. Simply unacceptable, and I am done.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Here I Am; Rock You Like A Hurricane

Yes, I know it's been a long time. But I've been busy. For one thing, Shaked came to visit last week. We did all kinds of crazy crap. Eastern Market, American History Museum, the mall, the Portrait Gallery. Wild times. Actually there were: watching the Food Network (for 3 hours)...which led to getting Amsterdam Falafel after Trivia Night, getting angry at the idiot Trivia host, getting angry at people in general, etc. It was quite nice to have her around.

Four Loko ain't as potent as the media likes you to believe.

My editorial board competition ended in success: next year I will be a Notes Editor. Whoops dee do. The finals step in the application process was an interview (read: inquisition). It involved sitting in a chair in front of the current 24 board members and being peppered with questions. Some of them were standard, and received standard hot air answers ("What leadership experience do you have?"). Some of them were difficult and not particularly probing questions ("What three words would you use to describe yourself?") And one of them was downright terrifying; that question was "I see you have lots of comedy on your resume, could you tell us a joke?" That translates to: "Be funny. Go." Difficult to do on the spot. Luckily, I had thought of a joke (or at least a Deep Thought) the night before while washing my hands:
When dyslexic zombies come back to life, do you think they crave Brians?
Say what you want, but Shaked laughed the night before. So that's what I went with. It went over alright, with a moderate amount of eventual laughter (it's kind of a thinker). Overall, I thought the interview did not go very well. It took maybe 11 minutes of a schedules 20. But it worked out in the end! Editorial board/resume padding, here I come.

The National Portrait Gallery proves that in college we were cutting edge. Thanks Alexis Rockman! Thanks to Shaked, I basically got a guided tour of that exhibit.
Also, the Portrait Gallery has the silliest portrait of LL Cool J. Donated by LL Cool J. Go figure.

Running soon after eating eggs benedict is not the best decision you can make in your life.

I think I want to watch How I Met Your Mother. I'm eager to find out the answer.

St. Patrick's Day was widely celebrated in DC on Saturday. I watched someone vomit on the roof deck of the Big Hunt. At 6:55 pm. A little early, no? We left that bar at 6:56.

Picking classes for next semester is getting annoying. Tentatively, I am going with:
Evidence (all but mandatory for "lawyers")
Professional Responsibility and Ethics (mandatory, but you might not think so for "lawyers")
Trial Advocacy (I need a skills credit, and this is a "lawyer"-y thing which feels appropriate)
White Collar Crime (maybe? or Antitrust? or Bankruptcy? I just don't know!!!! I assume an appropriate defense will be "Your Honor, I only wear blue shirts.")

What else?
The Social Network was good. Definitely not Movie of the Year good, but good.

The only other thing I have to say is nerdy. Here it is: I love fantasy baseball. Women clearly do not understand fantasy sports, especially not the concept of a mock draft, sometimes referred to as a fake fake game. Yes, yes it is. You'll never understand! You're part of the system.

Friday, March 4, 2011

I Want A Brulee Torch

I learned how to make creme brulee. Be jealous. Or be my friend and benefit from my knowledge.

In first grade we had a presentation involving the "Scrubby Bear Club" about hand washing. I recently confirmed that this was a real thing and not a hallucination using the power of the internet.

On the train yesterday a woman standing behind me fixed my collar. I said "Thank you," because I am polite, but I was slightly unnerved.

"Better off Ted" is an amusing show. Thanks to Eva for giving me access to her Netflix account online. Sucker. I told her not to be surprised when "Memoirs of a Geisha" shows up on DVD at her house.